the kentons-第3章

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silent；　lonely　house　at　Tuakingum；　dark　among　its　leafless　maples；　and
the　life　that　was　no　more　in　it　than　if　they　had　all　died　out　of　it；　and
he　could　not　keep　down　a　certain　resentment；　senseless　and　cruel；　as　if
the　poor　girl　were　somehow　to　blame　for　their　exile。　　When　he　betrayed
this　feeling　to　his　wife；　as　he　sometimes　must；　she　scolded　him　for　it；
and　then　offered；　if　he　really　thought　anything　like　that；　to　go　back　to
Tuskingum　at　once；　and　it　ended　in　his　having　to　own　himself　wrong；　and
humbly　promise　that　he　never　would　let　the　child　dream　how　he　felt；
unless　he　really　wished　to　kill　her。　　He　was　obliged　to　carry　his　self…
punishment　so　far　as　to　take　Lottie　very　sharply　to　task　when　she　broke
out　in　hot　rebellion；　and　declared　that　it　was　all　Ellen's　fault；　she　was
not　afraid　of　killing　her　sister；　and　though　she　did　not　say　it　to　her；
she　said　it　of　her；　that　anybody　else　could　have　got　rid　of　that　fellow
without　turning　the　whole　family　out　of　house　and　home。

Lottie；　in　fact；　was　not　having　a　bit　good　time　in　New　York；　which　she
did　not　find　equal　in　any　way　to　Tuskingum　for　fun。　　She　hated　the　dull
propriety　of　the　hotel；　where　nobody　got　acquainted；　and　every　one　was　as
afraid　as　death　of　every　one　else；　and　in　her　desolation　she　was　thrown
back　upon　the　society　of　her　brother　Boyne。　　They　became　friends　in　their
common　dislike　of　New　York；　and　pending　some　chance　of　bringing　each
other　under　condemnation　they　lamented　their　banishment　from　Tuskingum
together。　　But　even　Boyne　contrived　to　make　the　heavy　time　pass　more
lightly　than　she　in　the　lessons　he　had　with　a　tutor；　and　the　studies　of
the　city　which　he　carried　on。　　When　the　skating　was　not　good　in　Central
Park　he　spent　most　of　his　afternoons　and　evenings　at　the　vaudeville
theatres。　　None　of　the　dime　museums　escaped　his　research；　and　he
conversed　with　freaks　and　monsters　of　all　sorts　upon　terms　of　friendly
confidence。　　He　reported　their　different　theories　of　themselves　to　his
family　with　the　same　simple…hearted　interest　that　he　criticised　the　song
and　dance　artists　of　the　vaudeville　theatres。　　He　became　an　innocent　but
by　no　means　uncritical　connoisseur　of　their　attractions；　and　he　surprised
with　the　constancy　and　variety　of　his　experience　in　them　a　gentleman　who
sat　next　him　one　night。　　Boyne　thought　him　a　person　of　cultivation；　and
consulted　him　upon　the　opinion　he　had　formed　that　there　was　not　so　much
harm　in　such　places　as　people　said。　　The　gentleman　distinguished　in
saying　that　he　thought　you　would　not　find　more　harm　in　them；　if　you　did
not　bring　it　with　you；　than　you　would　in　the　legitimate　theatres；　and　in
the　hope　of　further　wisdom　from　him；　Boyne　followed　him　out　of　the
theatre　and　helped　him　on　with　his　overcoat。　　The　gentleman　walked　home
to　his　hotel　with　him；　and　professed　a　pleasure　in　his　acquaintance　which
he　said　he　trusted　they　might　sometime　renew。

All　at　once　the　Kentons　began　to　be　acquainted　in　the　hotel；　as　often
happens　with　people　after　they　have　long　ridden　up　and　down　in　the
elevator　together　in　bonds　of　apparently　perpetual　strangeness。　　From　one
friendly　family　their　acquaintance　spread　to　others　until　they　were；
almost　without　knowing　it；　suddenly　and　simultaneously　on　smiling　and
then　on　speaking　terms　with　the　people　of　every　permanent　table　in　the
dining…room。　　Lottie　and　Boyne　burst　the　chains　of　the　unnatural　kindness
which　bound　them；　and　resumed　their　old　relations　of　reciprocal　censure。　
He　found　a　fellow　of　his　own　age　in　the　apartment　below；　who　had　the　same
country　traditions　and　was　engaged　in　a　like　inspection　of　the　city；　and
she　discovered　two　girls　on　another　floor；　who　said　they　received　on
Saturdays　and　wanted　her　to　receive　with　them。　　They　made　a　tea　for　her；
and　asked　some　real　New　Yorkers；　and　such　a　round　of　pleasant　little
events　began　for　her　that　Boyne　was　forced　to　call　his　mother's　attention
to　the　way　Charlotte　was　going　on　with　the　young　men　whom　she　met　and
frankly　asked　to　call　upon　her　without　knowing　anything　about　them；　you
could　not　do　that　in　New　York；　he　said。

But　by　this　time　New　York　had　gone　to　Mrs。　Kenton's　head；　too；　and　she
was　less　fitted　to　deal　with　Lottie　than　at　home。　　Whether　she　had
succeeded　or　not　in　helping　Ellen　take　her　mind　off　herself；　she　had
certainly　freed　her　own　from　introspection　in　a　dream　of　things　which　had
seemed　impossible　before。　　She　was　in　that　moment　of　a　woman's　life　which
has　a　certain　pathos　for　the　intelligent　witness；　when；　having　reared　her
children　and　outgrown　the　more　incessant　cares　of　her　motherhood；　she
sometimes　reverts　to　her　girlish　impulses　and　ideals；　and　confronts　the
remaining　opportunities　of　life　with　a　joyful　hope　unknown　to　our　heavier
and　sullener　sex　in　its　later　years。　　It　is　this　peculiar　power　of
rejuvenescence　which　perhaps　makes　so　many　women　outlive　their　husbands；
who　at　the　same　age　regard　this　world　as　an　accomplished　fact。　　Mrs。
Kenton　had　kept　up　their　reading　long　after　Kenton　found　himself　too　busy
or　too　tired　for　it；　and　when　he　came　from　his　office　at　night　and　fell
asleep　over　the　book　she　wished　him　to　hear；　she　continued　it　herself；
and　told　him　about　it。　　When　Ellen　began　to　show　the　same　taste；　they
read　together；　and　the　mother　was　not　jealous　when　the　father　betrayed
that　he　was　much　prouder　of　his　daughter's　culture　than　his　wife's。　　She
had　her　own　misgivings　that　she　was　not　so　modern　as　Ellen；　and　she
accepted　her　judgment　in　the　case　of　some　authors　whom　she　did　not　like
so　well。

She　now　went　about　not　only　to　all　the　places　where　she　could　make
Ellen's　amusement　serve　as　an　excuse；　but　to　others　when　she　could　not
coax　or　compel　the　melancholy　girl。　　She　was　as　constant　at　matinees　of
one　kind　as　Boyne　at　another　sort；　she　went　to　the　exhibitions　of
pictures；　and　got　herself　up　in　schools　of　painting；　she　frequented
galleries；　public　and　private；　and　got　asked　to　studio　teas；　she　went　to
meetings　and　conferences　of　aesthetic　interest；　and　she　paid　an　easy　way
to　parlor　lectures　expressive　of　the　vague　but　profound　ferment　in
women's　souls；　from　these　her　presence　in　intellectual　clubs　was　a　simple
and　natural　transition。　　She　met　and　talked　with　interesting　people；　and
now　and　then　she　got　introduced　to　literary　people。　　Once；　in　a　book…
store；　she　stood　next　to　a　gentleman　leaning　over　the　same　counter；　whom
a　salesman　addressed　by　the　name　of　a　popular　author；　and　she　remained
staring　at　him　breathless　till　he　left　the　place。　　When　she　bragged　of
the　prodigious　experience　at　home；　her　husband　defied　her　to　say　how　it
differed　from　meeting　the　lecturers　who　had　been　their　guests　in
Tuskingum；　and　she　answered　that　none　of　them　compared　with　this　author；
and；　besides；　a　lion　in　his　own　haunts　was　very　different　from　a　lion
going　round　the　country　on　exhibition。　　Kenton　thought　that　was　pretty
good；　and　owned　that　she　had　got　him　there。

He　laughed　at　her；　to　the　children；　but　all　the　same　she　believed　that
she　was　living　in　an　atmosphere　of　culture；　and　with　every　breath　she　was
sensible　of　an　intellectual　expansion。　　She　found　herself　in　the
enjoyment　of　so　wide　and　varied　a　sympathy　with　interests　hitherto
strange　to　her　experience　that　she　could　not　easily　make　people　believe
she　had　never　been　to　Europe。　　Nearly　every　one　she　met　had　been　several
times；　and　took　it　for　granted　that　she　knew　the　Continent　as　well　as
they　themselves。

She　denied　it　with　increasing　shame；　she　tried　to　make　Kenton　understand
how　she　felt；　and　she　might　have　gone　further　if　she　had　not　seen　how
homesick　he　was　for　Tuskingum。　　She　did　her　best　to　coax　him　and　scold
him　into　a　share　of　the　pleasure　they　were　all　beginning　to　have　in　New
York。　　She　made　him　own　that　Ellen　herself　was　beginning　to　be　gayer；　she
convinced　him　that　his　business　was　not　suffering　in　his　absence　and　that
he　was　the　better　from　the　complete　rest　he　was　having。　　She　defied　him；
to　say；　then；　what　was　the　matter　with　him；　and　she　bitterly　reproached
herself；　in　the　event；　for　not　having　known　that　it　was　not　homesickness
alone　that　was　the　trouble。　　When　he　was　not　going　about　with　her；　or
doing　something　to　amuse　the　children；　he　went　upon　long；　lonely　walks；
and　came　home　silent　and　fagged。　　He　had　given　up　smoking；　and　he　did　not
care　to　sit　about　in　the　office　of　the　hotel　where　other　old　fellows
passed　the　time　over　their　papers　and　cigars；　in　the　heat　of　the　glowing
grates。　　They　looked　too　much　like　himself；　with　their　air　of
unrecognized　consequence；　and　of　personal　loss　in　an　alien　environment。　
He　knew　from　their　dress　and　bearing　that　they　were　country　people；　and
it　wounded　him　in　a　tender　place　to　realize　that　they　had　each　left
behind　him　in　his　own　town　an　authority　and　a　respect　which　they　could
not　enjoy　in　New　York。　　Nobody　called　them　judge；　or　general；　or　doctor；
or　squire；　nobody　cared　who　they　were；　or　what　they　thought；　Kenton　did
not　care　himself；　but　when　he　missed　one　of　them　he　envied　him；　for　then
he　knew　that　he　had　gone　back　to　the　soft；　warm　keeping　of　his　own
neighborhood；　and　resumed　the　intelligent　regard　of　a　community　he　had
grown　up　with。　　There　were　men　in　New　York　whom　Kenton　had　met　in　former
years；　and　whom　he　had　sometimes　fancied　looking　up；　but　he　did　not　let
them　know　he　was　in　town；　and　then　he　was　hurt　that　they　ignored　him。
He　kept　away　from　places　where　he　was　likely　to　meet　them；　he　thought
that　it　must　have　come　to　them　that　he　was　spending　the　winter　in　New
York；　and　as　bitterly　as　his　nature　would　suffer　he　resented　the
indifference　of　the　Ohio　Society　to　the　presence　of　an　Ohio　man　of　his
local　distinction。　　He　had　not　the　habit　of　clubs；　and　when　one　of　the
pleasant　younger　fellows　whom　he　met　in　the　hotel　offered　to　put　him　up
at　one；　he　shrank　from　the　courtesy　shyly　and　almost　dryly。　　He　had
outlived　the　period　of　active　curiosity；　and　he　did　not　explore　the　city
as　he　world　once　have　done。　　He　had　no　resorts　out　of　the　hotel；　except
the　basements　of　the　secondhand　book…dealers。　　He　haunted　these；　and
picked　up　copies　of　war　histories　and　biographies；　which；　as　fast　as　he
read　them；　he　sent　off　to　his　son　at　Tuskingum；　and　had　him　put　them　away
with　the　documents　for　the　life　of　his　regiment。　　His　wife　could　see；
with　compassion　if　not　sympathy；　that　he　was　fondly　strengthening　by
these　means　the　ties　that　bound　him　to　his　home；　and　she　silently
proposed　to　go　back　to　it　with　him　whenever　he　should　say　the　word。

He　had　a　mechanical　fidelity；　however；　to　their　agreement　that　they
should　stay　till　spring；　and　he　made　no　sign　of　going；　as　the　winter　wore
away　to　its　end；　except　to　write　out　to　Tuskingum　minute　instructions　for
getting　the　garden　ready。　　He　varied　his　visits　to　the　book…stalls　by
conferences　with　seedsmen　at　their　stores；　and　his　wife　could　see　that　he
had　as　keen　a　satisfaction　in　despatching　a　rare　find　from　one　as　from
the　other。

She　forbore　to　make　him　realize　that　the　situation　had　not　changed；　and
that　they　would　be　taking　their　daughter　back　to　the　trouble　the　girl
herself　had　wished　to　escape。　　She　was　trusting；　with　no　definite　hope；
for　some　chance　of　making　him　feel　this；　while　Kenton　was　waiting　with　a
kind　of　pas