the forged coupon()-第21章
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Unfortunately he did not fall on the snow； but on a piece of iron over the
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door。 Ustinia came running up； together with the merchant's daughter。
〃Have you hurt yourself； Alyosha？〃
〃Ah！ no； it's nothing。〃
But he could not raise himself when he tried to； and began to smile。
He was taken into the lodge。 The doctor arrived； examined him； and
asked where he felt the pain。
〃I feel it all over；〃 he said。 〃But it doesn't matter。 I'm only afraid
master will be annoyed。 Father ought to be told。〃
Alyosha lay in bed for two days； and on the third day they sent for the
priest。
〃Are you really going to die？〃 Ustinia asked。
〃Of course I am。 You can't go on living for ever。 You must go when
the time comes。〃 Alyosha spoke rapidly as usual。 〃Thank you； Ustinia。
You've been very good to me。 What a lucky thing they didn't let us
marry！ Where should we have been now？ It's much better as it is。〃
When the priest came； he prayed with his bands and with his heart。
〃As it is good here when you obey and do no harm to others； so it will be
there；〃 was the thought within it。
He spoke very little； he only said he was thirsty； and he seemed full of
wonder at something。
He lay in wonderment； then stretched himself； and died。
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MY DREAM
I
〃As a daughter she no longer exists for me。 Can't you understand？
She simply doesn't exist。 Still； I cannot possibly leave her to the charity
of strangers。 I will arrange things so that she can live as she pleases； but
I do not wish to hear of her。 Who would ever have thought 。 。 。 the horror
of it； the horror of it。〃
He shrugged his shoulders； shook his head； and raised his eyes。 These
words were spoken by Prince Michael Ivanovich to his brother Peter； who
was governor of a province in Central Russia。 Prince Peter was a man of
fifty； Michael's junior by ten years。
On discovering that his daughter； who had left his house a year before；
had settled here with her child； the elder brother had come from St。
Petersburg to the provincial town； where the above conversation took
place。
Prince Michael Ivanovich was a tall； handsome； white…haired； fresh
coloured man； proud and attractive in appearance and bearing。 His family
consisted of a vulgar； irritable wife； who wrangled with him continually
over every petty detail； a son； a ne'er…do…well； spendthrift and roueyet a
〃gentleman；〃 according to his father's code； two daughters； of whom the
elder had married well； and was living in St。 Petersburg； and the younger；
Lisahis favourite； who had disappeared from home a year before。 Only
a short while ago he had found her with her child in this provincial town。
Prince Peter wanted to ask his brother how； and under what
circumstances； Lisa had left home； and who could possibly be the father of
her child。 But he could not make up his mind to inquire。
That very morning； when his wife had attempted to condole with her
brother…in…law； Prince Peter had observed a look of pain on his brother's
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face。 The look had at once been masked by an expression of
unapproachable pride； and he had begun to question her about their flat；
and the price she paid。 At luncheon； before the family and guests； he had
been witty and sarcastic as usual。 Towards every one； excepting the
children； whom he treated with almost reverent tenderness； he adopted an
attitude of distant hauteur。 And yet it was so natural to him that every one
somehow acknowledged his right to be haughty。
In the evening his brother arranged a game of whist。 When he retired
to the room which had been made ready for him； and was just beginning to
take out his artificial teeth； some one tapped lightly on the door with two
fingers。
〃Who is that？〃
〃C'est moi； Michael。〃
Prince Michael Ivanovich recognised the voice of his sister…in…law；
frowned； replaced his teeth； and said to himself； 〃What does she want？〃
Aloud he said； 〃Entrez。〃
His sister…in…law was a quiet； gentle creature； who bowed in
submission to her husband's will。 But to many she seemed a crank； and
some did not hesitate to call her a fool。 She was pretty； but her hair was
always carelessly dressed； and she herself was untidy and absent…minded。
She had； also； the strangest； most unaristocratic ideas； by no means fitting
in the wife of a high official。 These ideas she would express most
unexpectedly； to everybody's astonishment； her husband's no less than her
friends'。
〃Fous pouvez me renvoyer； mais je ne m'en irai pas； je vous le dis
d'avance；〃 she began； in her characteristic； indifferent way。
〃Dieu preserve；〃 answered her brother…in…law； with his usual
somewhat exaggerated politeness； and brought forward a chair for her。
〃Ca ne vous derange pas？〃 she asked； taking out a cigarette。 〃I'm not
going to say anything unpleasant； Michael。 I only wanted to say something
about Lisochka。〃
Michael Ivanovich sighedthe word pained him； but mastering
himself at once； he answered with a tired smile。 〃Our conversation can
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only be on one subject； and that is the subject you wish to discuss。〃 He
spoke without looking at her； and avoided even naming the subject。 But
his plump； pretty little sister…in…law was unabashed。 She continued to
regard him with the same gentle； imploring look in her blue eyes； sighing
even more deeply。
〃Michael； mon bon ami； have pity on her。 She is only human。〃
〃I never doubted that；〃 said Michael Ivanovich with a bitter smile。
〃She is your daughter。〃
〃She wasbut my dear Aline； why talk about this？〃
〃Michael； dear； won't you see her？ I only wanted to say； that the one
who is to blame〃
Prince Michael Ivanovich flushed； his face became cruel。
〃For heaven's sake； let us stop。 I have suffered enough。 I have now
but one desire； and that is to put her in such a position that she will be
independent of others； and that she shall have no further need of
communicating with me。 Then she can live her own life； and my family
and I need know nothing more about her。 That is all I can do。〃
〃Michael； you say nothing but 'I'！ She； too； is 'I。'〃
〃No doubt； but； dear Aline； please let us drop the matter。 I feel it too
deeply。〃
Alexandra Dmitrievna remained silent for a few moments； shaking her
head。 〃And Masha； your wife； thinks as you do？〃
〃Yes； quite。〃
Alexandra Dmitrievna made an inarticulate sound。
〃Brisons la dessus et bonne nuit；〃 said he。 But she did not go。 She
stood silent a moment。 Then；〃Peter tells me you intend to leave the
money with the woman where she lives。 Have you the address？〃
〃I have。〃
〃Don't leave it with the woman； Michael！ Go yourself。 Just see how
she lives。 If you don't want to see her； you need not。 HE isn't there； there
is no one there。〃
Michael Ivanovich shuddered violently。
〃Why do you torture me so？ It's a sin against hospitality！〃
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Alexandra Dmitrievna rose； and almost in tears； being touched by her
own pleading； said； 〃She is so miserable； but she is such a dear。〃 He got
up； and stood waiting for her to finish。 She held out her hand。
〃Michael； you do wrong；〃 said she； and left him。
For a long while after she had gone Michael Ivanovich walked to and
fro on the square of carpet。 He frowned and shivered； and exclaimed；
〃Oh； oh！〃 And then the sound of his own voice frightened him； and he was
silent。
His wounded pride tortured him。 His daughterhisbrought up in
the house of her mother； the famous Avdotia Borisovna； whom the
Empress honoured with her visits； and acquaintance with whom was an
honour for all the world！ His daughter； and he had lived his life as a
knight of old； knowing neither fear nor blame。 The fact that he had a
natural son born of a Frenchwoman； whom he had settled abroad； did not
lower his own self…esteem。 And now this daughter； for whom he had not
only done everything that a father could and should do； this daughter to
whom he had given a splendid education and every opportunity to make a
match in the best Russian society this daughter to whom he had not only
given all that a girl could desire； but whom he had really LOVED； whom
he had admired； been proud ofthis daughter had repaid him with such
disgrace； that he was ashamed and could not face the eyes of men！
He recalled the time when she was not merely his child； and a member
of his family； but his darling； his joy and his pride。 He saw her again； a
little thing of eight or nine； bright； intelligent； lively； impetuous； graceful；
with brilliant black eyes and flowing auburn hair。 He remembered how
she used to jump up on his knees and hug him； and tickle his neck； and
how she would laugh； regardless of his protests； and continue to tickle him；
and kiss his lips； his eyes； and his cheeks。 He was naturally opposed to all
demonstration； but this impetuous love moved him； and he often submitted
to her petting。 He remembered also how sweet it was to caress her。 To
remember all this； when that sweet child had become what she now was； a
creature of whom he could not think without loathing。
He also recalled the time when she was gro
