the forged coupon()-第18章
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did not drink that night； because without it I was drunk with love。 But I
made up for it by dancing waltzes and polkas till I was ready to dropof
course； whenever possible； with Varinka。 She wore a white dress with a
pink sash； white shoes； and white kid gloves； which did not quite reach to
her thin pointed elbows。 A disgusting engineer named Anisimov robbed
me of the mazurka with herto this day I cannot forgive him。 He asked
her for the dance the minute she arrived； while I had driven to the hair…
dresser's to get a pair of gloves； and was late。 So I did not dance the
mazurka with her； but with a German girl to whom I had previously paid a
little attention； but I am afraid I did not behave very politely to her that
evening。 I hardly spoke or looked at her； and saw nothing but the tall；
slender figure in a white dress； with a pink sash； a flushed； beaming；
dimpled face； and sweet； kind eyes。 I was not alone； they were all looking
at her with admiration； the men and women alike； although she outshone
all of them。 They could not help admiring her。
〃Although I was not nominally her partner for the mazurka； I did as a
matter of fact dance nearly the whole time with her。 She always came
forward boldly the whole length of the room to pick me out。 I flew to
meet her without waiting to be chosen； and she thanked me with a smile
for my intuition。 When I was brought up to her with somebody else； and
she guessed wrongly； she took the other man's hand with a shrug of her
slim shoulders； and smiled at me regretfully。
〃Whenever there was a waltz figure in the mazurka； I waltzed with her
for a long time； and breathing fast and smiling； she would say； 'Encore'；
and I went on waltzing and waltzing； as though unconscious of any bodily
existence。〃
〃Come now； how could you be unconscious of it with your arm round
her waist？ You must have been conscious； not only of your own existence；
but of hers；〃 said one of the party。
Ivan Vasilievich cried out； almost shouting in anger： 〃There you are；
moderns all over！ Nowadays you think of nothing but the body。 It was
different in our day。 The more I was in love the less corporeal was she in
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my eyes。 Nowadays you think of nothing but the body。 It was different
in our day。 The more I was in love the less corporeal was she in my eyes。
Nowadays you set legs； ankles； and I don't know what。 You undress the
women you are in love with。 In my eyes； as Alphonse Karr saidand he
was a good writer' the one I loved was always draped in robes of bronze。'
We never thought of doing so； we tried to veil her nakedness； like Noah's
good…natured son。 Oh； well； you can't understand。〃
〃Don't pay any attention to him。 Go on；〃 said one of them。
〃Well； I danced for the most part with her； and did not notice how time
was passing。 The musicians kept playing the same mazurka tunes over
and over again in desperate exhaustionyou know what it is towards the
end of a ball。 Papas and mammas were already getting up from the card…
tables in the drawing…room in expectation of supper； the men…servants
were running to and fro bringing in things。 It was nearly three o'clock。 I
had to make the most of the last minutes。 I chose her again for the
mazurka； and for the hundredth time we danced across the room。
〃'The quadrille after supper is mine；' I said； taking her to her place。
〃'Of course； if I am not carried off home；' she said； with a smile。
〃'I won't give you up；' I said。
〃'Give me my fan； anyhow；' she answered。
〃'I am so sorry to part with it；' I said； handing her a cheap white fan。
〃'Well； here's something to console you；' she said； plucking a feather
out of the fan； and giving it to me。
〃I took the feather； and could only express my rapture and gratitude
with my eyes。 I was not only pleased and gay； I was happy； delighted； I
was good； I was not myself but some being not of this earth； knowing
nothing of evil。 I hid the feather in my glove； and stood there unable to
tear myself away from her。
〃'Look； they are urging father to dance；' she said to me； pointing to the
tall； stately figure of her father； a colonel with silver epaulettes； who was
standing in the doorway with some ladies。
〃'Varinka； come here！' exclaimed our hostess； the lady with the
diamond ferronniere and with shoulders like Elizabeth； in a loud voice。
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〃'Varinka went to the door； and I followed her。
〃'Persuade your father to dance the mazurka with you； ma chere。Do；
please； Peter Valdislavovich；' she said； turning to the colonel。
〃Varinka's father was a very handsome； well…preserved old man。 He
had a good colour； moustaches curled in the style of Nicolas I。； and white
whiskers which met the moustaches。 His hair was combed on to his
forehead； and a bright smile； like his daughter's； was on his lips and in his
eyes。 He was splendidly set up； with a broad military chest； on which he
wore some decorations； and he had powerful shoulders and long slim legs。
He was that ultra…military type produced by the discipline of Emperor
Nicolas I。
〃When we approached the door the colonel was just refusing to dance；
saying that he had quite forgotten how； but at that instant he smiled；
swung his arm gracefully around to the left； drew his sword from its
sheath； handed it to an obliging young man who stood near； and smoothed
his suede glove on his right hand。
〃'Everything must be done according to rule；' he said with a smile。 He
took the hand of his daughter； and stood one…quarter turned； waiting for
the music。
〃At the first sound of the mazurka； he stamped one foot smartly； threw
the other forward； and； at first slowly and smoothly； then buoyantly and
impetuously； with stamping of feet and clicking of boots； his tall； imposing
figure moved the length of the room。 Varinka swayed gracefully beside
him； rhythmically and easily； making her steps short or long； with her little
feet in their white satin slippers。
〃All the people in the room followed every movement of the couple。
As for me I not only admired； I regarded them with enraptured sympathy。 I
was particularly impressed with the old gentleman's boots。 They were not
the modern pointed affairs； but were made of cheap leather； squared…toed；
and evidently built by the regimental cobbler。 In order that his daughter
might dress and go out in society； he did not buy fashionable boots； but
wore home…made ones； I thought； and his square toes seemed to me most
touching。 It was obvious that in his time he had been a good dancer； but
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now he was too heavy； and his legs had not spring enough for all the
beautiful steps he tried to take。 Still； he contrived to go twice round the
room。 When at the end； standing with legs apart； he suddenly clicked his
feet together and fell on one knee； a bit heavily； and she danced gracefully
around him； smiling and adjusting her skirt； the whole room applauded。
〃Rising with an effort； he tenderly took his daughter's face between his
hands。 He kissed her on the forehead； and brought her to me； under the
impression that I was her partner for the mazurka。 I said I was not。 'Well；
never mind。 just go around the room once with her；' he said； smiling
kindly； as he replaced his sword in the sheath。
〃As the contents of a bottle flow readily when the first drop has been
poured； so my love for Varinka seemed to set free the whole force of
loving within me。 In surrounding her it embraced the world。 I loved the
hostess with her diadem and her shoulders like Elizabeth； and her husband
and her guests and her footmen； and even the engineer Anisimov who felt
peevish towards me。 As for Varinka's father； with his home…made boots
and his kind smile； so like her own； I felt a sort of tenderness for him that
was almost rapture。
〃After supper I danced the promised quadrille with her； and though I
had been infinitely happy before； I grew still happier every moment。
〃We did not speak of love。 I neither asked myself nor her whether
she loved me。 It was quite enough to know that I loved her。 And I had
only one fearthat something might come to interfere with my great joy。
〃When I went home； and began to undress for the night； I found it
quite out of the question。 held the little feather out of her fan in my hand；
and one of her gloves which she gave me when I helped her into the
carriage after her mother。 Looking at these things； and without closing my
eyes I could see her before me as she was for an instant when she had to
choose between two partners。 She tried to guess what kind of person was
represented in me； and I could hear her sweet voice as she said； 'Prideam
I right？' and merrily gave me her hand。 At supper she took the first sip
from my glass of champagne； looking at me over the rim with her
caressing glance。 But； plainest of all； I could see her as she danced with
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her father； gliding along beside him； and looking at the admiring observers
with pride and happiness。
〃He and she were united in my mind in one rush of pathetic
tenderness。
〃I was living then with my brother； who has since died。 He disliked
going out； and never went to dances； and besides； he was busy preparing
for his last university examinations； and was leading a very regular life。
He was asleep。 I looked at him； his head buried in
