misc writings and speeches(米斯克说与写)-第20章
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person exempted from these demands； except the footmen and
gamekeepers of the squire and the rector of the parish。 They indeed were
never checked in any excess。 They would come to an honest labourer's
cottage； eat his pancakes； tuck his fowls into their pockets； and cane the
poor man himself。 If he went up to the great house to complain； it was
hard to get the speech of Sir Lewis； and； indeed； his only chance of being
righted was to coax the squire's pretty housekeeper； who could do what
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she pleased with her master。 If he ventured to intrude upon the Lord of
the Manor without this precaution； he gained nothing by his pains。 Sir
Lewis； indeed； would at first receive him with a civil face； for； to give him
his due； he could be a fine gentleman when he pleased。 〃Good day； my
friend；〃 he would say； 〃what situation have you in my family？〃 〃Bless
your honour！〃 says the poor fellow； 〃I am not one of your honour's
servants； I rent a small piece of ground； your honour。〃 〃Then； you dog；〃
quoth the squire； 〃what do you mean by coming here？ Has a gentleman
nothing to do but to hear the complaints of clowns？ Here！ Philip； James；
Dick； toss this fellow in a blanket； or duck him； and set him in the stocks
to dry。〃
One of these precious Lords of the Manor enclosed a deer…park； and；
in order to stock it； he seized all the pretty pet fawns that his tenants had
brought up； without paying them a farthing； or asking their leave。 It was
a sad day for the parish of St Dennis。 Indeed； I do not believe that all his
oppressive exactions and long bills enraged the poor tenants so much as
this cruel measure。
Yet for a long time； in spite of all these inconveniences； St Dennis's
was a very pleasant place。 The people could not refrain from capering if
they heard the sound of a fiddle。 And； if they were inclined to be riotous；
Sir Lewis had only to send for Punch； or the dancing dogs； and all was
quiet again。 But this could not last forever； they began to think more and
more of their condition； and； at last； a club of foul…mouthed； good…for…
nothing rascals was held at the sign of the Devil； for the purpose of
abusing the squire and the parson。 The doctor； to own the truth； was old
and indolent； extremely fat and greedy。 He had not preached a tolerable
sermon for a long time。 The squire was still worse； so that； partly by
truth and partly by falsehood； the club set the whole parish against their
superiors。 The boys scrawled caricatures of the clergyman upon the
church… door； and shot at the landlord with pop…guns as he rode a… hunting。
It was even whispered about that the Lord of the Manor had no right to his
estate； and that； if he were compelled to produce the original title…deeds； it
would be found that he only held the estate in trust for the inhabitants of
the parish。
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In the meantime the squire was pressed more and more for money。 The
parish could pay no more。 The rector refused to lend a farthing。 The
Jews were clamorous for their money； and the landlord had no other
resource than to call together the inhabitants of the parish； and to request
their assistance。 They now attacked him furiously about their grievances；
and insisted that he should relinquish his oppressive powers。 They
insisted that his footmen should be kept in order； that the parson should
pay his share of the rates； that the children of the parish should be allowed
to fish in the trout…stream； and to gather blackberries in the hedges。 They
at last went so far as to demand that he should acknowledge that he held
his estate only in trust for them。 His distress compelled him to submit。
They； in return； agreed to set him free from his pecuniary difficulties； and
to suffer him to inhabit the manor…house； and only annoyed him from time
to time by singing impudent ballads under his window。
The neighbouring gentlefolks did not look on these proceedings with
much complacency。 It is true that Sir Lewis and his ancestors had
plagued them with law…suits； and affronted them at county meetings。
Still they preferred the insolence of a gentleman to that of the rabble； and
felt some uneasiness lest the example should infect their own tenants。
A large party of them met at the house of Lord Caesar Germain。 Lord
Caesar was the proudest man in the county。 His family was very ancient
and illustrious； though not particularly opulent。 He had invited most of his
wealthy neighbours。 There was Mrs Kitty North； the relict of poor
Squire Peter； respecting whom the coroner's jury had found a verdict of
accidental death； but whose fate had nevertheless excited strange whispers
in the neighbourhood。 There was Squire Don； the owner of the great
West Indian property； who was not so rich as he had formerly been； but
still retained his pride； and kept up his customary pomp； so that he had
plenty of plate but no breeches。 There was Squire Von Blunderbussen；
who had succeeded to the estates of his uncle； old Colonel Frederic Von
Blunderbussen； of the hussars。 The colonel was a very singular old
fellow； he used to learn a page of Chambaud's grammar； and to translate
Telemaque； every morning； and he kept six French masters to teach him to
parleyvoo。 Nevertheless he was a shrewd clever man； and improved his
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estate with so much care； sometimes by honest and sometimes by
dishonest means； that he left a very pretty property to his nephew。
Lord Caesar poured out a glass of Tokay for Mrs Kitty。 〃Your health；
my dear madam； I never saw you look more charming。 Pray； what think
you of these doings at St Dennis's？〃
〃Fine doings； indeed！〃 interrupted Von Blunderbussen； 〃I wish that we
had my old uncle alive； he would have had some of them up to the halberts。
He knew how to usa cat…o'…nine…tails。 If things go on in this way； a
gentleman will not be able to horsewhip an impudent farmer； or to say a
civil word to a milk… maid。〃
〃Indeed； it's very true； Sir；〃 said Mrs Kitty； 〃their insolence is
intolerable。 Look at me； for instance：a poor lone woman！ My dear
Peter dead！ I loved him：so I did； and； when he died； I was so hysterical
you cannot think。 And now I cannot lean on the arm of a decent footman；
or take a walk with a tall grenadier behind me； just to protect me from
audacious vagabonds； but they must have their nauseous suspicions；
odious creatures！〃
〃This must be stopped；〃 replied Lord Caesar。 〃We ought to
contribute to support my poor brother…in…law against these rascals。 I will
write to Squire Guelf on this subject by this night's post。 His name is
always at the head of our county subscriptions。〃
If the people of St Dennis's had been angry before； they were well…
nigh mad when they heard of this conversation。 The whole parish ran to
the manor…house。 Sir Lewis's Swiss porter shut the door against them；
but they broke in and knocked him on the head for his impudence。 They
then seized the Squire； hooted at him； pelted him； ducked him； and carried
him to the watch…house。 They turned the rector into the street； burnt his
wig and band； and sold the church…plate by auction。 They put up a
painted Jezebel in the pulpit to preach。 They scratched out the texts
which were written round the church； and scribbled profane scraps of
songs and plays in their place。 They set the organ playing to pot… house
tunes。 Instead of being decently asked in church； they were married over
a broomstick。 But； of all their whims； the use of the new patent steel…
traps was the most remarkable。
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This trap was constructed on a completely new principle。 It consisted
of a cleaver hung in a frame like a window； when any poor wretch got in；
down it came with a tremendous din； and took off his head in a twinkling。
They got the squire into one of these machines。 In order to prevent any
of his partisans from getting footing in the parish； they placed traps at
every corner。 It was impossible to walk through the highway at broad noon
without tumbling into one or other of them。 No man could go about his
business in security。 Yet so great was the hatred which the inhabitants
entertained for the old family； that a few decent； honest people； who
begged them to take down the steel… traps； and to put up humane man…
traps in their room； were very roughly handled for their good nature。
In the meantime the neighbouring gentry undertook a suit against the
parish on the behalf of Sir Lewis's heir； and applied to Squire Guelf for his
assistance。
Everybody knows that Squire Guelf is more closely tied up than any
gentleman in the shire。 He could； therefore； lend them no help； but he
referred them to the Vestry of the Parish of St George in the Water。 These
good people had long borne a grudge against their neighbours on the other
side of the stream； and some mutual trespasses had lately occurred which
increased their hostility。
There was an honest Irishman； a g
