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struck him that it would sound very odd。  ;Besides�察─�he thought�察 �I

shall only catch a cold;�察�and�察�without speaking�察�he left the seat��

and went along towards his rooms。









CHAPTER XXXIII



THE END



He reached his rooms at midnight so exhausted that�察�without waiting

to light up�察�he dropped into a chair。  The curtains and blinds had

been removed for cleaning�察�and the tall windows admitted the night's

staring gaze。  Shelton fixed his eyes on that outside darkness�察�as

one lost man might fix his eyes upon another。



An unaired�察�dusty odour clung about the room�察�but�察�like some God´sent

whiff of grass or flowers wafted to one sometimes in the streets�察�a

perfume came to him�察�the spice from the withered clove carnation

still clinging�察�to his button´hole�察�and he suddenly awoke from his。

queer trance。  There was a decision to be made。  He rose to light a

candle�察�the dust was thick on everything he touched。  ;Ugh� ─ �he

thought�察 �how wretched� ─ �and the loneliness that had seized him on

the stone seat at Holm Oaks the day before returned with fearful

force。



On his table�察�heaped without order�察�were a pile of bills and

circulars。  He opened them�察�tearing at their covers with the random

haste of men back from their holidays。  A single long envelope was

placed apart。



MY DEAR DICK ��he read��



I enclose you herewith the revised draft of your marriage settlement。

It is now shipshape。  Return it before the end of the week�察�and I

will have it engrossed for signature。  I go to Scotland next

Wednesday for a month�察�shall be back in good time for your wedding。

My love to your mother when you see her。

               Your´affectionate uncle��

                         EDMUND PARAMOR。





Shelton smiled and took out the draft。



;This Indenture made the____day of 190_�察�between Richard Paramor

Shelton´;



He put it down and sank back in his chair�察�the chair in which the

foreign vagrant had been wont to sit on mornings when he came to

preach philosophy。



He did not stay there long�察�but in sheer unhappiness got up�察�and��

taking his candle�察�roamed about the room�察�fingering things�察�and

gazing in the mirror at his face�察�which seemed to him repulsive in

its wretchedness。  He went at last into the hall and opened the door��

to go downstairs again into the street�察�but the sudden certainty

that�察�in street or house�察�in town or country�察�he would have to take

his trouble with him�察�made him shut it to。  He felt in the letter´

box�察�drew forth a letter�察�and with this he went back to the sitting´

room。



It was from Antonia。  And such was his excitement that he was forced

to take three turns between the window and the wall before he could

read�察�then�察�with a heart beating so that he could hardly hold the

paper�察�he began��



I was wrong to ask you to go away。  I see now that it was breaking my

promise�察�and I did n't mean to do that。  I don't know why things have

come to be so different。  You never think as I do about anything。



I had better tell you that that letter of Monsieur Ferrand's to

mother was impudent。  Of course you did n't know what was in it�察�but

when Professor Brayne was asking you about him at breakfast�察�I felt

that you believed that he was right and we were wrong�察�and I can't

understand it。  And then in the afternoon�察�when that woman hurt her

horse�察�it was all as if you were on her side。  How can you feel like

that��



I must say this�察�because I don't think I ought to have asked you to

go away�察�and I want you to believe that I will keep my promise�察�or I

should feel that you and everybody else had a right to condemn me。

I was awake all last night�察�and have a bad headache this morning。  I

can't write any more。



ANTONIA。





His first sensation was a sort of stupefaction of relief that had in

it an element of anger。  He was reprieved�  �She would not break her

promise�察�she considered herself bound�  �In the midst of the

exaltation of this thought he smiled�察�and that smile was strange。



He read it through again�察�and�察�like a judge�察�began to weigh what she

had written�察�her thoughts when she was writing�察�the facts which had

led up to this。



The vagrant's farewell document had done the business。  True to his

fatal gift of divesting things of clothing�察�Ferrand had not vanished

without showing up his patron in his proper colours�察�even to Shelton

those colours were made plain。  Antonia had felt her lover was a

traitor。  Sounding his heart even in his stress of indecision��

Shelton knew that this was true。



;Then in the afternoon�察�when that woman hurt her horse´;  That woman��

;It was as if you were on her side� �



He saw too well her mind�察�its clear rigidity�察�its intuitive

perception of that with which it was not safe to sympathise�察�its

instinct for self´preservation�察�its spontaneous contempt for those

without that instinct。  And she had written these words considering

herself bound to hima man of sentiment�察�of rebellious sympathies��

of untidiness of principle�  �Here was the answer to the question he

had asked all day�此 �How have things come to such a pass�拭─�and he

began to feel compassion for her。



Poor child�  �She could not jilt him�察�there was something vulgar in

the word�  �Never should it be said that Antonia Dennant had accented

him and thrown him over。  No lady did these things�  �They were

impossible�  �At the bottom of his heart he had a queer�察�unconscious

sympathy with�察�this impossibility。



Once again he read the letter�察�which seemed now impregnated with

fresh meaning�察�and the anger which had mingled with his first

sensation of relief detached itself and grew in force。  In that

letter there was something tyrannous�察�a denial of his right to have a

separate point of view。  It was like a finger pointed at him as an

unsound person。  In marrying her he would be marrying not only her��

but her classhis class。  She would be there always to make him look

on her and on himself�察�and all the people that they knew and all the

things they did�察�complacently�察�she would be there to make him feel

himself superior to everyone whose life was cast in other moral

moulds。  To feel himself superior�察�not blatantly�察�not consciously��

but with subconscious righteousness。



But his anger�察�which was like the paroxysm that two days before had

made him mutter at the Connoisseur�察 �I hate your d´d superiority�察�

struck him all at once as impotent and ludicrous。  What was the good

of being angry�拭 �He was on the point of losing her�  �And the anguish

of that thought�察�reacting on his anger�察�intensified it threefold。

She was so certain of herself�察�so superior to her emotions�察�to her

natural impulsessuperior to her very longing to be free from him。

Of that fact�察�at all events�察�Shelton had no longer any doubt。  It was

beyond argument。  She did not really love him�察�she wanted to be free

of him��



A photograph hung in his bedroom at Holm Oaks of a group round the

hall door�察�the Honourable Charlotte Penguin�察�Mrs。 Dennant�察�Lady

Bonington�察�Halidome�察�Mr。 Dennant�察�and the stained´glass manall were

there�察�and on the left´hand side�察�looking straight in front of her��

Antonia。  Her face in its youthfulness�察�more than all those others��

expressed their point of view�此�Behind those calm young eyes lay a

world of safety and tradition。  ;I am not as others are�察─�they seemed

to say。



And from that photograph Mr。 and Mrs。 Dennant singled themselves out��

he could see their faces as they talkedtheir faces with a peculiar

and uneasy look on them�察�and he could hear their voices�察�still

decisive�察�but a little acid�察�as if they had been quarrelling��



;He 's made a donkey of himself� �



;Ah�  �it's too distressin'� �



They�察�too�察�thought him unsound�察�and did n't want him�察�but to save the

situation they would be glad to keep him。  She did n't want him�察�but

she refused to lose her right to say�察 �Commoner girls may break their

promises�察�I will not� ─ �He sat down at the table between the candles��

covering his face。  His grief and anger grew and grew within him。  If

she would not free herself�察�the duty was on him�  �She was ready

without love to marry him�察�as a sacrifice to her ideal of what she

ought to be��



But she had n't�察�after all�察�the monopoly of pride��



As if she stood before him�察�he could see the shadows underneath her

eyes that he had dreamed of kissing�察�the eager movements of her lips。

For several minutes he remained�察�not moving hand or limb。  Then once

more his anger blazed。  She was going to sacrifice herself andhim��

All his manhood scoffed at such a senseless sacrifice。  That was not

exactly what he wanted��



He went to the bureau�察�took a piece of paper and an envelope�察�and

wrote as follows��



There never was�察�is not�察�and never would have been any question of

being bound between us。  I refuse to trade on any such thing。  You

are absolutely free。  Our engagement is at an end by mutual consent。



                              RICHARD SHELTON。





He sealed it�察�and�察�sitting with his hands between his knees�察�he let

his forehead droop lower and lower to the table�察�till it rested on

his marriage settlement。  And he had a feeling of relief�察�like one

who drops exhausted at his journey's end。











End 

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