the island pharisees-第13章

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demi…god；　was　absolutely　made　of　flesh　and　blood。　　He　took　the　dog

home；　and；　sending　for　a　vet。；　had　him　sewn　up。



He　was　already　tortured　by　the　doubt　whether　or　no　he　might　venture

to　meet　Antonia　at　the　station；　and；　after　sending　his　servant　with

the　dog　to　the　address　marked　on　its　collar；　he　formed　the　resolve　to

go　and　see　his　mother；　with　some　vague　notion　that　she　might　help　him

to　decide。　　She　lived　in　Kensington；　and；　crossing　the　Brompton　Road；

he　was　soon　amongst　that　maze　of　houses　into　the　fibre　of　whose

structure　architects　have　wrought　the　motto：　〃　Keep　what　you　have

wives；　money；　a　good　address；　and　all　the　blessings　of　a　moral

state！〃



Shelton　pondered　as　he　passed　house　after　house　of　such　intense

respectability　that　even　dogs　were　known　to　bark　at　them。　　His　blood

was　still　too　hot；　it　is　amazing　what　incidents　will　promote　the

loftiest　philosophy。　　He　had　been　reading　in　his　favourite　review　an

article　eulogising　the　freedom　and　expansion　which　had　made　the　upper

middle　class　so　fine　a　body；　and　with　eyes　wandering　from　side　to

side　he　nodded　his　head　ironically。　　〃Expansion　and　freedom；〃　ran　his

thoughts：　〃Freedom　and　expansion！〃



Each　house…front　was　cold　and　formal；　the　shell　of　an　owner　with　from

three　to　five　thousand　pounds　a　year；　and　each　one　was　armoured

against　the　opinion　of　its　neighbours　by　a　sort　of　daring　regularity。

〃Conscious　of　my　rectitude；　and　by　the　strict　observance　of　exactly

what　is　necessary　and　no　more；　I　am　enabled　to　hold　my　head　up　in　the

world。　　The　person　who　lives　in　me　has　only　four　thousand　two　hundred

and　fifty…five　pounds　each　year；　after　allowing　for　the　income　tax。〃

Such　seemed　the　legend　of　these　houses。



Shelton　passed　ladies　in　ones　and　twos　and　threes　going　out　shopping；

or　to　classes　of　drawing；　cooking；　ambulance。　　Hardly　any　men　were

seen；　and　they　were　mostly　policemen；　but　a　few　disillusioned

children　were　being　wheeled　towards　the　Park　by　fresh…cheeked　nurses；

accompanied　by　a　great　army　of　hairy　or　of　hairless　dogs。



There　was　something　of　her　brother's　large　liberality　about　Mrs。

Shelton；　a　　tiny　lady　with　affectionate　eyes；　warm　cheeks；　and　chilly

feet；　fond　as　a　cat　of　a　chair　by　the　fire；　and　full　of　the　sympathy

that　has　no　insight。　　She　kissed　her　son　at　once　with　rapture；　and；

as　usual；　began　to　talk　of　his　engagement。　　For　the　first　time　a

tremor　of　doubt　ran　through　her　son；　his　mother's　view　of　it　grated

on　him　like　the　sight　of　a　blue…pink　dress；　it　was　too　rosy。　　Her

splendid　optimism；　damped　him；　it　had　too　little　traffic　with　the

reasoning　powers。



〃What　right；〃　he　asked　himself；　〃has　she　to　be　so　certain？　　It　seems

to　me　a　kind　of　blasphemy。〃



〃The　dear！〃　she　cooed。　　〃And　she　is　coming　back　to…morrow？　　Hurrah！

how　I　long　to　see　her！〃



〃But　you　know；　mother；　we've　agreed　not　to　meet　again　until　July。〃



Mrs。　Shelton　rocked　her　foot；　and；　holding　her　head　on　one　side　like

a　little　bird；　looked　at　her　son　with　shining　eyes。



〃Dear　old　Dick！〃　　she　said；　〃how　happy　you　must　be！〃



Half　a　century　of　sympathy　with　weddings　of　all　sortsgood；　bad；

indifferentbeamed　from　her。



〃I　suppose；〃　said　Shelton　gloomily；　〃I　ought　not　to　go　and　see　her　at

the　station。〃



〃Cheer　up！〃　　replied　the　mother；　and　her　son　felt　dreadfully

depressed。



That　〃Cheer…up！〃the　panacea　which　had　carried　her　blind　and　bright

through　every　evilwas　as　void　of　meaning　to　him　as　wine　without　a

flavour。



〃And　how　is　your　sciatica？〃　he　asked。



〃Oh；　pretty　bad；〃　returned　his　mother；　〃I　expect　it's　all　right；

really。　　Cheer　up！〃　　She　stretched　her　little　figure；　canting　her

head　still　more。



〃Wonderful　woman！〃　　Shelton　thought。　　She　had；　in　fact；　like　many　of

her　fellow…countrymen；　mislaid　the　darker　side　of　things；　and；

enjoying　the　benefits　of　orthodoxy　with　an　easy　conscience；　had　kept

as　young　in　heart　as　any　girl　of　thirty。



Shelton　left　her　house　as　doubtful　whether　he　might　meet　Antonia　as

when　he　entered　it。　　He　spent　a　restless　afternoon。



The　next　daythat　of　her　arrivalwas　a　Sunday。　　He　had　made　Ferrand

a　promise　to　go　with　him　to　hear　a　sermon　in　the　slums；　and；　catching

at　any　diversion　which　might　allay　excitement；　he　fulfilled　it。　　The

preacher　in　questionan　amateur；　so　Ferrand　told　himhad　an

original　method　of　distributing　the　funds　that　he　obtained。　　To　male

sheep　he　gave　nothing；　to　ugly　female　sheep　a　very　little；　to　pretty

female　sheep　the　rest。　　Ferrand　hazarded　an　inference；　but　he　was　a

foreigner。　　The　Englishman　preferred　to　look　upon　the　preacher　as

guided　by　a　purely　abstract　love　of　beauty。　　His　eloquence；　at　any

rate；　was　unquestionable；　and　Shelton　came　out　feeling　sick。



It　was　not　yet　seven　o'clock；　so；　entering　an　Italian　restaurant　to

kill　the　half…hour　before　Antonia's　arrival；　he　ordered　a　bottle　of

wine　for　his　companion；　a　cup　of　coffee　for　himself；　and；　lighting　a

cigarette；　compressed　his　lips。　　There　was　a　strange；　sweet　sinking

in　his　heart。　　His　companion；　ignorant　of　this　emotion；　drank　his

wine；　crumbled　his　roll；　and　blew　smoke　through　his　nostrils；

glancing　caustically　at　the　rows　of　little　tables；　the　cheap　mirrors；

the　hot；　red　velvet；　the　chandeliers。　　His　juicy　lips　seemed　to　be

murmuring；　〃Ah！　if　you　only　knew　of　the　dirt　behind　these　feathers！〃

Shelton　watched　him　with　disgust。　　Though　his　clothes　were　now　so

nice；　his　nails　were　not　quite　clean；　and　his　fingertips　seemed

yellow　to　the　bone。　　An　anaemic　waiter　in　a　shirt　some　four　days　old；

with　grease…spots　on　his　garments　and　a　crumpled　napkin　on　his　arm；

stood　leaning　an　elbow　amongst　doubtful　fruits；　and　reading　an

Italian　journal。　　Resting　his　tired　feet　in　turn；　he　looked　like

overwork　personified；　and　when　he　moved；　each　limb　accused　the　sordid

smartness　of　the　walls。　　In　the　far　corner　sat　a　lady　eating；　and；

mirrored　opposite；　her　feathered　hat；　her　short；　round　face；　its　coat

of　powder；　and　dark　eyes；　gave　Shelton　a　shiver　of　disgust。　　His

companion's　gaze　rested　long　and　subtly　on　her。



〃Excuse　me；　monsieur；〃　he　said　at　length。　　〃I　think　I　know　that

lady！〃　　And；　leaving　his　host；　he　crossed　the　room；　bowed；　accosted

her；　and　sat　down。　　With　Pharisaic　delicacy；　Shelton　refrained　from

looking。　　But　presently　Ferrand　came　back；　the　lady　rose　and　left　the

restaurant；　she　had　been　crying。　　The　young　foreigner　was　flushed；

his　face　contorted；　he　did　not　touch　his　wine。



〃I　was　right；〃　he　said；　〃she　is　the　wife　of　an　old　friend。　　I　used　to

know　her　well。〃



He　was　suffering　from　emotion；　but　someone　less　absorbed　than　Shelton

might　have　noticed　a　kind　of　relish　in　his　voice；　as　though　he　were

savouring　life's　dishes；　and　glad　to　have　something　new；　and　spiced

with　tragic　sauce；　to　set　before　his　patron。



〃You　can　find　her　story　by　the　hundred　in　your　streets；　but　nothing

hinders　these　paragons　of　virtue〃he　nodded　at　the　stream　of

carriages〃from　turning　up　their　eyes　when　they　see　ladies　of　her

sort　pass。　　She　came　to　Londonjust　three　years　ago。　　After　a　year

one　of　her　little　boys　took　feverthe　shop　was　avoidedher　husband

caught　it；　and　died。　　There　she　was；　left　with　two　children　and

everything　gone　to　pay　the　debts。　　She　tried　to　get　work；　no　one

helped　her。　　There　was　no　money　to　pay　anyone　to　stay　with　the

children；　all　the　work　she　could　get　in　the　house　was　not　enough　to

keep　them　alive。　　She's　not　a　strong　woman。　　Well；　she　put　the

children　out　to　nurse；　and　went　to　the　streets。　　The　first　week　was

frightful；　but　now　she's　used　to　itone　gets　used　to　anything。〃



〃Can　nothing　be　done？〃　asked　Shelton；　startled。



〃No；〃　returned　his　companion。　　〃I　know　that　sort；　if　they　once　take

to　it　all's　over。　　They　get　used　to　luxury。　　One　does　n't　part　with

luxury；　after　tasting　destitution。　　She　tells　me　she　does　very

nicely；　the　children　are　happy；　she's　able　to　pay　well　and　see　them

sometimes。　　She　was　a　girl　of　good　family；　too；　who　loved　her

husband；　and　gave　up　much　for　him。　　What　would　you　have？　　Three

quarters　of　your　virtuous　ladies　placed　in　her　position　would　do　the

same　if　they　had　the　necessary　looks。〃



It　was　evident　that　he　felt　the　shock　of　this　discovery；　and　Shelton

understood　that　personal　acquaintance　makes　a　difference；　even　in　a

vagabond。



〃This　is　her　beat；〃　said　the　young　foreigner；　as　they　passed　the

illuminated　crescent；　where　nightly　the　shadows　of　hypocrites　and

women　fall；　and　Shelton　went　from　these　comments　on　Christianity　to

the　station　of　Charing　Cross。　　There；　as　he　stood　waiting　in　the

shadow；　his　heart　was　in　his　mouth；　and　it　struck　him　as　odd　that　he

should　have　come　to　this　meeting　fresh　from　a　vagabond's　society。



Presently；　amongst　the　stream　of　travellers；　he　saw　Antonia。　　She　was

close　to　her　mother；　who　was　parleying　with　a　footman；　behind　them

were　a　maid　carrying　a　bandbox　and　a　porter　with　the　travelling…bags。

Antonia's　figure；　with　its　throat　settled　in　the　collar　of　her　cape；

slender；　tall；　severe；　looked　impatient　and　remote　amongst　the

bustle。　　Her　eyes；　shadowed　by　the　journey；　glanced　eagerly　about；

welcoming　all　she　saw；　a　wisp　of　hair　was　loose　above　her　ear；　her

cheeks　glowed　cold　and　rosy。　　She　caught　sight　of　Shelton；　and

bending　her　neck；　stag…like；　stood　looking　at　him；　a　brilliant　smile

parted　her　lips；　and　Shelton　trembled。　　Here　was　the　embodiment　of

all　he　had　desired　for　weeks。　　He　could　not　tell　what　was　behind　that

smile　of　herspassionate　aching　or　only　some　ideal；　some　chaste　and

glacial　intangibility。　　It　seemed　to　be　shining　past　him　into　the

gloomy　station。　　There　was　no　trembling　and　uncertainty；　no　rage　of

possession　in　that　brilliant　smile；　it　had　the　gleam　of　fixedness；

like　the　smiling　of　a　star。　　What　did　it　matter？　　She　was　there；

beautiful　as　a　young　day；　and　smiling　at　him；　and　she　was　his；　only

divided　from　him　by　a　space　of　time。　　He　took　a　step；　her　eyes　fell

at　once；　her　face　regained　aloofness；　he　saw　her；　encircled　by

mother；　footman；　maid；　and　porter；　take　her　seat　and　drive　away。

It　was　over；　she　had　seen　him；　she　had　smiled；　but　alongside　his

delight　lurked　another　feeling；　and；　by　a　bitter　freak；　not　her　face

came　up　before　him　but　the　face　of　that　lady　in　the　restaurant

short；　round；　and　powdered；　with　black…circled　eyes。　　What　right　had

we　to　scorn　them？　　Had　they　mothers；　footmen；　porters；　maids？　　He

shivered；　but　this　time　with　physical　disgust；　the　powdered　face　with

dark…fringed　eyes　had　vanished；　the　fair；　remote　figure　of　the

railway…station　came　back　again。



He　sat　long　over　dinner；　drinking；　dreaming；　he　sat　long　after；

smoking；　dreaming；　and　when　at　length　he　drove　away；　wine　and　dreams

fumed　in　his　brain。　　The　dance　of　lamps；　the　cream…cheese　moon；　the

rays　of　clean　wet　light　on　his　horse's　harness；　the　jingling　of　the

cab　bell；　the　whirring　wheels；　the　night　air　and　the　branchesit　was

all　so　good！　　He　threw　back