屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第15章
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〃thisthoughttormentedmesomuchallnightthatthenextdayireturnedtovincennestoannouncetothelieutenantthatihadjustenlisted；andwasgoingofftothefrontier。thebravemanpresseduponmehiscrossofst。louis；andiwentawayasproudasanambassador。
〃thatishow；neighbor；ibecameavolunteerundertherepublicbeforeihadcutmywisdomteeth。〃
allthiswastoldquietly；andinthecheerfulspiritofhimwholooksuponanacplisheddutyneitherasameritnoragrievance。
whilehespoke；fatherchaufourgrewanimated；notonaccountofhimself；butofthegeneralsubject。evidentlythatwhichoccupiedhiminthedramaoflifewasnothisownpart；butthedramaitself。
thissortofdisinterestednesstouchedme。iprolongedmyvisit；andshowedmyselfasfrankaspossible；inordertowinhisconfidenceinreturn。inanhourstimeheknewmypositionandmyhabits；iwasonthefootingofanoldacquaintance。
ievenconfessedtheill…humorthelightofhislampputmeintoashorttimebefore。hetookwhatisaidwiththetouchingcheerfulnesswhichesfromaheartintherightplace；andwhichlooksuponeverythingonthegoodside。heneitherspoketomeofthenecessitywhichobligedhimtoworkwhileicouldsleep；norofthedeprivationsoftheoldsoldierparedtotheluxuryoftheyoungclerk；heonlystruckhisforehead；accusedhimselfofthoughtlessness；andpromisedtoputlistroundhisdoor！
ogreatandbeautifulsoul！withwhomnothingturnstobitterness；andwhoartperemptoryonlyindutyandbenevolence！
october15th鈥斺�攖hismorningiwaslookingatalittleengravingihadframedmyself；andhungovermywriting…table；itisadesignofgavarnis；inwhich；inagravemood；hehasrepresentedaveteranandaconscript。
byoftencontemplatingthesetwofigures；sodifferentinexpression；andsotruetolife；bothhavebeelivinginmyeyes；ihaveseenthemmove；ihaveheardthemspeak；thepicturehasbeearealscene；atwhichiampresentasspectator。
theveteranadvancesslowly；hishandleaningontheshoulderoftheyoungsoldier。hiseyes；closedforever；nolongerperceivethesunshiningthroughthefloweringchestnut…trees。intheplaceofhisrightarmhangsanemptysleeve；andhewalkswithawoodenleg；thesoundofwhichonthepavementmakesthosewhopassturntolook。
atthesightofthisancientwreckfromourpatrioticwars；thegreaternumbershaketheirheadsinpity；andiseemtohearasighoranimprecation。
〃seetheworthofglory！〃saysaportlymerchant；turningawayhiseyesinhorror。
〃whatadeplorableuseofhumanlife！〃rejoinsayoungmanwhocarriesavolumeofphilosophyunderhisarm。
〃thetrooperwouldbetternothavelefthisplow；〃addsacountryman；withacunningair。
〃pooroldman！〃murmursawoman；almostcrying。
theveteranhasheard；andheknitshisbrow；foritseemstohimthathisguidehasgrownthoughtful。thelatter；attractedbywhathehearsaroundhim；hardlyanswerstheoldmansquestions；andhiseyes；vaguelylostinspace；seemtobeseekingthereforthesolutionofsomeproblem。
iseemtoseeatwitchinginthegraymoustachesoftheveteran；hestopsabruptly；and；holdingbackhisguidewithhisremainingarm：
〃theyallpityme；〃sayshe；〃becausetheydonotunderstandit；butifiweretoanswerthem鈥斺�敗�
〃whatwouldyousaytothem；father？〃askstheyoungman；withcuriosity。
〃ishouldsayfirsttothewomanwhoweepswhenshelooksatme；tokeephertearsforothermisfortunes；foreachofmywoundscallstomindsomestruggleformycolors。thereisroomfordoubtinghowsomemenhavedonetheirduty；withmeitisvisible。icarrytheaccountofmyservices；writtenwiththeenemyssteelandlead；onmyself；topitymeforhavingdonemydutyistosupposeiwouldbetterhavebeenfalsetoit。〃
〃andwhatwouldyousaytothecountryman；father？〃
〃ishouldtellhimthat；todrivetheplowinpeace；wemustfirstsecurethecountryitself；andthat；aslongasthereareforeignersreadytoeatourharvest；theremustbearmstodefendit。〃
〃buttheyoungstudent；too；shookhisheadwhenhelamentedsuchauseoflife。〃
〃becausehedoesnotknowwhatself…sacrificeandsufferingcanteach。
thebooksthathestudieswehaveputinpractice；thoughweneverreadthem：theprinciplesheapplaudswehavedefendedwithpowderandbayonet。〃
〃andatthepriceofyourlimbsandyourblood。themerchantsaid；whenhesawyourmaimedbody；seetheworthofglory！〃
〃donotbelievehim；myson：thetruegloryisthebreadofthesoul；itisthiswhichnourishesself…sacrifice；patience；andcourage。themasterofallhasbestoweditasatiethemorebetweenmen。whenwedesiretobedistinguishedbyourbrethren；dowenotthusproveouresteemandoursympathyforthem？thelongingforadmirationisbutonesideoflove。no；no；thetrueglorycanneverbetoodearlypaidfor！
thatwhichweshoulddeplore；child；isnottheinfirmitieswhichproveagenerousself…sacrifice；butthosewhichourvicesorourimprudencehavecalledforth。ah！ificouldspeakaloudtothosewho；whenpassing；castlooksofpityuponme；ishouldsaytotheyoungmanwhoseexcesseshavedimmedhissightbeforeheisold；whathaveyoudonewithyoureyes？totheslothfulman；whowithdifficultydragsalonghisenervatedmassofflesh；whathaveyoudonewithyourfeet？totheoldman；whoispunishedforhisintemperancebythegout；whathaveyoudonewithyourhands？toall；whathaveyoudonewiththedaysgodgrantedyou；withthefacultiesyoushouldhaveemployedforthegoodofyourbrethren？ifyoucannotanswer；bestownomoreofyourpityupontheoldsoldiermaimedinhiscountryscause；forhe鈥斺�攈eatleast鈥斺�攃anshowhisscarswithoutshame。〃
october16th鈥斺�攖helittleengravinghasmademeprehendbetterthemeritsoffatherchaufour；andithereforeesteemhimallthemore。
hehasjustnowleftmyattic。therenolongerpassesasingledaywithouthisingtoworkbymyfire；ormygoingtositandtalkbyhisboard。
theoldartillerymanhasseenmuch；andlikestotellofit。fortwentyyearshewasanarmedtravellerthroughouteurope；andhefoughtwithouthatred；forhewaspossessedbyasinglethought鈥斺�攖hehonorofthenationalflag！itmighthavebeenhissuperstition；ifyouwill；butitwas；atthesametime；hissafeguard。
thewordfrance；whichwasthenresoundingsogloriouslythroughtheworld；servedasatalismantohimagainstallsortsoftemptation。tohavetosupportagreatnamemayseemaburdentovulgarminds；butitisanencouragementtovigorousones。
〃i；too；havehadmanymoments；〃saidhetometheotherday；〃whenihavebeentemptedtomakefriendswiththedevil。warisnotpreciselytheschoolforruralvirtues。bydintofburning；destroying；andkilling；yougrowalittletoughasregardsyourfeelings；and；whenthebayonethasmadeyouking；thenotionsofanautocrateintoyourheadalittlestrongly。butatthesemomentsicalledtomindthatcountrywhichthelieutenantspokeoftome；andiwhisperedtomyselfthewell…knownphrase；toujoursfrancais！ithasbeenlaughedatsince。peoplewhowouldmakeajokeofthedeathoftheirmotherhaveturneditintoridicule；asifthenameofourcountrywasnotalsoanobleandabindingthing。formypart；ishallneverforgetfromhowmanyfolliesthetitleoffrenchmanhaskeptme。when；overewithfatigue；ihavefoundmyselfintherearofthecolors；andwhenthemusketrywasrattlinginthefrontranks；manyatimeiheardavoice；whichwhisperedinmyear；leavetheotherstofight；andfortodaytakecareofyourownhide！butthen；thatwordfrancais！murmuredwithinme；andipressedforwardtohelpmyrades。atothertimes；when；irritatedbyhunger；cold；andwounds；ihavearrivedatthehovelofsomemeinherr；ihavebeenseizedbyanitchingtobreakthemastersback；andtoburnhishut；butiwhisperedtomyself；francais！andthisnamewouldnotrhymewitheitherincendiaryormurderer。ihave；inthisway；passedthroughkingdomsfromeasttowest；andfromnorthtosouth；alwaysdeterminednottobringdisgraceuponmycountrysflag。thelieutenant；yousee；hadtaughtmeamagicword鈥斺�攎ycountry！notonlymustwedefendit；butwemustalsomakeitgreatandloved。〃
october17th鈥斺�攖o…dayihavepaidmyneighboralongvisit。achanceexpressionledthewaytohistellingmemoreofhimselfthanhehadyetdone。
iaskedhimwhetherbothhislimbshadbeenlostinthesamebattle。
〃no；no！〃repliedhe；〃thecannononlytookmyleg；itwastheclamartquarriesthatmyarmwenttofeed。〃
andwheniaskedhimfortheparticulars鈥斺��
〃thatsaseasyastosaygood…morning；〃continuedhe。〃afterthegreatbreak…upatwaterloo；istayedthreemonthsinthecamphospitaltogivemywoodenlegtimetogrow。assoonasiwasabletohobblealittle；itookleaveofheadquarters；andtooktheroadtoparis；whereihopedtofindsomerelativeorfriend；butno鈥斺�攁llweregone；orunderground。
ishouldhavefoundmyselflessstrangeatvienna；madrid；orberlin。
andalthoughihadalegthelesstoprovidefor；iwasnonethebetteroff；myappetitehadeback；andmylastsousweretakingflight。
〃ihadindeedmetmyoldcolonel；whorecollectedthatihadhelpedhimoutoftheskirmishatmontereaubygivinghimmyhorse；andhehadofferedmebedandboardathishouse。iknewthattheyearbeforehehadmarriedacastleandnofewfarms；sothatimightbeepermanentcoat…brushertoamillionaire；whichwasnotwithoutitstemptations。
itremainedtoseeifihadnotanythingbettertodo。oneeveningisetmyselftoreflectuponit。
〃letussee；chaufour；saiditomyself；thequestionistoactlikeaman。thecolonelsplacesuitsyou；butcannotyoudoanythingbetter？
yourbodyisstillingoodcondition；andyourarmsstrong；doyounotoweallyourstrengthtoyourcountry；asyourvincennesunclesaid？whynotleavesomeoldsoldier；morecutupthanyouare；togethishospitalatthecolonels？e；trooper；youarestillfitforanotherstoutchargeortwo！youmustnotlayupbeforeyourtime。
〃whereuponiwenttothankthecolonel；andtooffermyservicestoanoldartilleryman；whohadgonebacktohishomeatclamart；andwhohadtakenupthequarrymanspickagain。
〃forthefirstfewmonthsiplayedtheconscriptspart鈥斺�攖hatistosay；therewasmorestirthanwork；butwithagoodwillonegetsthebetterofstones；asofeverythingelse。ididnotbee；sotospeak；theleaderofacolumn；butibroughtuptherankamongthegoodworkmen；andiatemybreadwithagoodappetite；seeingihadearneditwithagoodwill。forevenunderground；yousee；istillkeptmypride。thethoughtthatiwasworkingtodomypartinchangingrocksintohousespleasedmyheart。isaidtomyself；courage；chaufour；myoldboy；youarehelpingtobeautifyyourcountry。andthatkeptupmyspirit。
〃unfortunately；someofmypanionswererathertoosensibletothecharmsofthebrandy…bottle；somuchso；thatonedayoneofthem；whocouldhardlydistinguishhisrighthandfromhisleft；thoughtpropertostrikealightclosetoachargedmine。themineexplodedsuddenly；andsentashowerofstonegrapeamongus；whichkilledthreemen；andcarriedawaythearmofwhichihavenowonlythesleeve。〃
〃soyouwereagainwithoutmeansofliving？〃saiditotheoldsoldier。
〃thatistosay；ihadtochangethem；〃repliedhe；quietly。〃thedifficultywastofindonewhichwoulddowithfivefingersinsteadoften；ifoundit；however。〃
〃howwasthat？〃
〃amongtheparisstreet…sweepers。〃
〃what！youhavebeenone鈥斺�敗�
〃ofthepioneersofthehealthforceforawhile；neighbor；andthatwasnotmyworsttimeeither。thecorpsofsweepersisnotsolowasitisdirty；icantellyou！thereareoldactressesinitwhocouldneverlearntosavetheirmoney；andruinedmerchantsfromtheexchange；weevenhadaprofessorofclassics；whoforalittledrinkwouldrecitelatintoyou；orgreektragedies；asyouchose。theycouldnothavepetedforthemonthyonprize；butweexcusedfaultsonaccountofpoverty；andcheeredourpovertybyourgood…humorandjokes。iwasasraggedandascheerfulastherest；whiletryingtobesomethingbetter。
eveninthemireofthegutteripreservedmyfaiththatnothingisdishonorablewhichisusefultoourcountry。
〃chaufour；saiditomyselfwithasmile；afterthesword；thehammer；afterthehammer；thebroom；youaregoingdownstairs；myoldboy；butyouarestillservingyourcountry。〃
〃however；youendedbyleavingyournewprofession？saidi。〃
〃areformwasrequired；neighbor。thestreet…sweepersseldomhavetheirfeetdry；andthedampatlastmadethewoundsinmygoodlegopenagain。
icouldnolongerfollowtheregiment；anditwasnecessarytolaydownmyarms。itisnowtwomonthssinceileftoffworkinginthesanitarydepartmentofparis。
〃atthefirstmomentiwasdaunted。ofmyfourlimbs；ihadnowonlymyrighthand；andeventhathadlostitsstrength；soitwasnecessarytofindsomegentlemanlyoccupationforit。aftertryingalittleofeverything；ifelluponcard…bo
