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worldly ways and byways(弊没岻揃)-及31嫗

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more harmful on account of its legislative power�察�the French is the more 

pretentious。   The   House   of   Lords   is   the   most   open   club   in   London�察  �the 

payment of an entrance´fee in the shape of a check to a party fund being 

an all´sufficient sesame。 In France�察�one must be born in the magic circle。 

The spirit of the Emigration of 1793 is not yet extinct。 The nobles live in 

their own world ��how expressive the word is�察�seeming to exclude all the 

rest   of   mankind���察  �pining   after   an   impossible   RESTAURATION�察  �alien   to 

the   present   day�察  �holding   aloof   from   politics   for   fear   of   coming   in   touch 

with the masses�察�with whom they pride themselves on having nothing in 

common。 

     What leads many people astray on this subject is that there has formed 

around   this   ancient   society   a   circle   composed   of   rich   ;outsiders�察─  �who 

have married into good families�察�and of eccentric members of the latter�察�

who from a love of excitement or for interested motives have broken away 

from   their   traditions。   Newly   arrived   Americans   are   apt   to   mistake   this 

;world; for the real thing。 Into this circle it is not difficult for foreigners 

who are rich and anxious to see something of life to gain admission。 To be 

received by the ladies of this outer circle�察�seems to our compatriots to be 



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an    achievement�察      �until    they   learn    the   real   standing      of   their   new 

acquaintances。 

     No gayer houses�察�however�察�exist than those of the new set。 At their city 

or country houses�察�they entertain continually�察�and they are the people one 

meets toward five o'clock�察�on the grounds of the Polo Club�察�in the Bois�察�at 

FETES given by the Island Club of Puteaux�察�attending the race meetings�察�

or dining at American houses。 As far as amusement and fun go�察�one might 

seek much further and fare worse。 

     It is very�察�very rare that foreigners get beyond this circle。 Occasionally 

there is a marriage between an American girl and some Frenchman of high 

rank。 In these cases the girl is�察�as it were�察�swallowed up。 Her family see 

little of her�察�she rarely appears in general society�察�and�察�little by little�察�she is 

lost to her old friends and relations。 I know of several cases of this kind 

where     it  is  to  be  doubted     if  a  dozen   Americans      outside    of  the   girls' 

connections know that such women exist。 The fall in rents and land values 

has made the French aristocracy poor�察�it is only by the greatest economy 

��and it never entered into an American mind to conceive of such economy 

as   is   practised   among   them��   that   they   succeed   in     holding   on   to   their 

historical chateaux or beautiful city residences�察�so that pride plays a large 

part in the isolation in which they live。 

     The     fact   that  no    titles  are   recognized      officially   by   the   French 

government ��the most they can obtain being a ;courtesy; recognition�� has 

placed these people in a singularly false position。 An American girl who 

has   married   a   Duke  is   a   good deal   astonished   to   find   that   she is   legally 

only plain ;Madame So and So�察─�that when her husband does his military 

service   there   is   no   trace   of   the   high´sounding   title   to   be   found   in   his 

official papers。 Some years ago�察�a colonel was rebuked because he allowed 

the Duc d'Alencon to be addressed as ;Monseigneur; by the other officers 

of   his   regiment。  This   ought   to   make   ambitious   papas   reflect�察  �when   they 

treat themselves to titled sons´in´law。 They should at least try and get an 

article recognized by the law。 

     Most     of  what    is  written   here   is  perfectly    well   known     to  resident 

Americans in Paris�察�and has been the cause of gradually splitting that once 

harmonious settlement   into   two   perfectly  distinct   camps�察 �between   which 



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no love is lost。 The members of one�察�clinging to their countrymen's creed 

of having the best or nothing�察�have been contented to live in France and 

know but few French people�察�entertaining among themselves and marrying 

their daughters to Americans。 The members of the other�察�who have ;gone 

in; for French society�察�take what they can get�察�and�察�on the whole�察�lead very 

jolly lives。 It often happens ��perhaps it is only a coincidence�� that ladies 

who have not been very successful at home are partial to this circle�察�where 

they  easily  find   guests   for   their   entertainments   and   the   recognition   their 

souls long for。 

     What the future of the ;Great Faubourg; will be�察�it is hard to say。 All 

hope   of   a   possible   RESTAURATION   appears   to   be   lost。 Will   the   proud 

necks   that   refused   to   bend   to   the   Orleans   dynasty   or   the   two   ;empires; 

bow     themselves      to  the  republican     yoke�拭   �It  would    seem   as   if  it  must 

terminate in this way�察�for everything in this world must finish。 But the end 

is not yet�察�one cannot help feeling sympathy for people who are trying to 

live up to their traditions and be true to such immaterial idols as ;honor; 

and   ;family;   in   this   discouragingly   material   age�察  �when   everything   goes 

down   before   the   Golden   Calf。   Nor   does   one   wonder   that   men   who   can 

trace     their  ancestors     back    to   the   Crusades     should     hesitate    to  ally 

themselves with the last rich PARVENU who has raised himself from the 

gutter�察�or resent the ardor with which the latest importation of American 

ambition tries to chum with them and push its way into their life。 



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          CHAPTER 31 ´ Men's Manners 



       NOTHING makes one feel so old as to wake up suddenly�察�as it were�察�

and realize that the conditions of life have changed�察�and that the standards 

you knew   and accepted in your   youth have   been raised   or lowered。 The 

young      men    you    meet    have    somehow       become     uncomfortably        polite�察�

offering you armchairs in the club�察�and listening with a shade of deference 

to   your   stories。  They  are   of   another   generation�察  �their   ways   are   not   your 

ways�察�nor their ambitions those you had in younger days。 One is tempted 

to look   a little  closer�察 �to analyze  what the change   is�察 �in what   this   subtle 

difference   consists�察  �which   you   feel   between   your   past   and   their   present。 

You are surprised and a little angry to discover that�察�among other things�察�

young   men   have   better   manners   than   were   general   among   the   youths of 

fifteen years ago。 

     Anyone      over   forty   can   remember      three   epochs     in  men's   manners。 

When I was a very young man�察�there were still going about in society a 

number   of   gentlemen   belonging   to   what   was   reverently   called   the   ;old 

school�察─  �who   had   evidently  taken   Sir   Charles   Grandison   as   their   model�察�

read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with attention�察�and been brought 

up    to   commence       letters   to  their   fathers�察   �Honored       Parent�察─   �signing 

themselves   ;Your   humble   servant   and   respectful   son。;   There   are   a   few 

such old gentlemen still to be found in the more conservative clubs�察�where 

certain windows are tacitly abandoned to these elegant´mannered fossils。 

They are quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent 

mood�察�when they are apt to be a little tiresome�察�it takes their rusty mental 

machinery   so   long   to   get   working�   �Washington   possesses   a   particularly 

fine collection among the retired army and navy officers and ex´officials。 

It is a fact well known that no one drawing a pension ever dies。 

     About   1875�察  �a   new   generation   with   new   manners   began   to   make   its 

appearance。       A   number     of  its  members      had   been    educated    at  English 

universities�察  �and   came   home   burning   to   upset   old   ways   and   teach   their 

elders how to live。 They broke away from the old clubs and started smaller 

and more exclusive circles among themselves�察�principally in the country。 

This   was   a   period   of   bad   manners。   True   to   their   English   model�察  �they 



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considered it ;good form; to be uncivil and to make no effort towards the 

general entertainment when in society。 Not to speak more than a word or 

two   during   a   dinner   party   to   either   of   one's   neighbors   was   the   supreme 

CHIC。 As a revolt from the twice´told tales of their elders they held it to 

be ;bad form; to tell a story�察�no matter how fresh and amusing it might be。 

An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in their club was crushed 

by having his tale received in dead silence。 When it was finished one of 

the party would ;ring the bell�察─�and the circle order drinks at the expense 

of   the   man   who   had   dared   to   amuse   them。   How   the   professional   story´ 

teller   must   have   shuddered   ´   he   whose   story  never   was   ripe   until   it   had 

been told a couple of hundred times�察�and who would produce a certain tale 

at a certain course as surely as clock´work。 

     That   the   story´telling     type   was   a   bore�察  �I   grant。   To   be   grabbed   on 

entering   your   club   and   obliged   to   listen   to   Smith's   last�察  �or   to   have   the 

conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his eternal ;Speaking 

of coffee�察�I remember once�察─�etc。 added an additional hardship to existence。 

But   the   opposite   pose�察  �which   became   the   fashion   among   the   reformers�察�

was hardly less wearisome。 To sit among a group of perfectly mute men�察�

with an occasional word dropping into the silence like a stone in a well�察�

was surely little better。 

     A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a youth 

whose       only    remark     during     the   evening      had    been    ��after    absorbed 

contemplation of the articles in question���察 �How do you like my socks�拭─�

     On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me�此�

     ;I think the man on my right has gone to sleep。 He is sitting with his 

eyes   closed� ─  �She   was   mistaken。   He   was   practising   his   newly   acquired 

;repose of manner�察─�and living up to the standard of his set。 

   

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