mother-第2章

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which　naturally　attend　every　engagement　between　happy　andand　devoted

young　people　that　they　keep　to　themselves　quite　carefully；　in　spite　of

the　fact　that　any　one　who　has　been　through　the　experience　of　being

engaged　two　or　three　times〃



There　was　another　movement　from　Ethel　by　the　sofa。



〃or　even　only　once；　as　is　my　case；〃　the　narrator　went　on；　〃any　body；　I

say；　who　has　been　through　the　experience　of　being　engaged　only　once；　can

form　a　very　correct　idea　of　the　circumstances　that　attend　the　happy

engagements　of　all　young　people。　I　imagine　they　prevail　in　all　countries；

just　as　the　feeling　about　'mother'　prevails。　Yes；　'Mother'　is　the　right

title　for　my　story；　as　you　shall　see。　Is　it　not　strange　that　if　you　add

'in…law'　to　the　word　'mother；'　how　immediately　the　sentiment　of　the　term

is　altered？as　strongly　indeed　as　when　you　prefix　the　word　'step'　to　it。

But　it　is　with　neither　of　these　composite　forms　of　mother　that　any　story

deals。



〃Ethel　has　always　maintained　that　if　I　had　really　understood　her；　it

never　would　have　happened。　She　says〃



〃Richard；　I〃



〃My　dear；　you　shall　tell　your　story　afterwards；　and　I　promise　to　listen

without　a　word　until　you　are　finished。　Mrs。　Field　says　that　if　I　had

understood　her　nature　as　a　man　ought　to　understand　the　girl　he　has　been

thinking　about　for　several　years；　I　should　have　known　she　cared　nothing

about　my　income。〃



〃I　didn't　care！　I'd　have〃but　Mr。　Field　checked　her　outburst。



〃She　was　going　to　say；〃　said　Mr。　Field；　〃that　had　I　asked　her　to　marry　me

when　I　became　sure　that　I　wished　to　marry　her；　she　would　have　been

willing　to　leave　New　York　and　go　to　the　waste　land　in　Michigan　that　was

her　inheritance　from　a　grandfather；　and　there　build　a　cabin　and　live　in

it　with　me；　and　that　while　I　shot　prairie　chickens　for　dinner　she　would

have　milked　the　cow　which　some　member　of　the　family　would　have　been

willing　to　give　us　as　a　wedding　present　instead　of　a　statue　of　the　Winged

Victory；　or　silver　spoons　and　forks；　had　we　so　desired。〃



Richard　made　a　pause　here；　and　looked　at　his　wife　as　if　he　expected　her

to　correct　him。　But　Ethel　was　plainly　satisfied　with　his　statement；　and

he　therefore　continued。



〃I　think　it　is　ideal　when　a　girl　is　ready　to　do　so　much　as　that　for　a

man。　But　I　should　not　think　it　ideal　in　a　man　to　allow　the　girl　he　loved

to　do　it　for　him。　Nor　did　I　then　know　anything　about　the　lands　in

Michiganthough　this　would　have　made　no　difference。　Ethel　had　been

accustomed　to　a　house　several　stories　high；　with　hot　and　cold　water　in

most　of　them；　and　somebody　to　answer　the　door…bell。〃



〃The　door…bell！〃　exclaimed　Ethel。　〃I　could　have　gone　without　hearing

that。〃



〃Yes；　Ethel；　only　to　hear　the　welkin　ring　would　have　been　enough　for　you。

I　know　that　you　are　sincere　in　thinking　so。　And　the　ringing　welkin　is　all

we　should　have　heard　in　Michigan。　But　the　more　truly　a　man　loves　a　girl；

the　less　can　he　bear　taking　her　from　an　easy　to　a　hard　life。　I　am　sure

that　all　the　men　here　agree　with　me。〃



There　was　a　murmur　and　a　nod　from　the　men；　and　also　from　Mrs。　Davenport。

But　the　other　ladies　gave　no　sign　of　assenting　to　Richard's　proposition。



〃In　those　days；〃　said　he；　〃I　was　what　in　the　curt　parlance　of　the　street

is　termed　a　six…hundred…dollar　clerk。　And　though　my　ears　had　grown

accustomed　to　this　appellation；　I　never　came　to　feel　that　it　completely

described　me。　In　passing　Tiffany's　window　twice　each　day　（for　my　habit

was　to　walk　to　and　from　Nassau　Street）　I　remember　that　seeing　a

thousand…dollar　clock　exposed　for　sale　caused　me　annoyance。　Of　course　my

salary　as　a　clerk　brought　me　into　no　unfavourable　comparison　with　the

clock；　and　I　doubt　if　I　could　make　you　understand　my　sometimes　feeling

when　I　passed　Tiffany's　window　that　I　should　like　to　smash　the　clock。〃



〃I　met　Ethel　frequently　in　society；　dancing　with　her；　and　sitting　next

her　at　dinners。　And　by　the　time　I　had　dined　at　her　own　house；　and　walked

several　afternoons　with　her；　my　lot　as　a　six…hundred…dollar　clerk　began

to　seem　very　sad　to　me。　I　wrote　verses　about　it；　and　about　other　subjects

also。　From　an　evening　passed　with　Ethel；　I　would　go　next　morning　to　the

office　and　look　at　the　other　clerks。　One　of　them　was　fifty…five；　and　he

still　received　six　hundred　dollarshis　wages　for　the　last　thirty　years。　I

was　then　twenty…one；　and　though　I　never　despaired　to　the　extent　of

believing　that　years　would　fail　to　increase　my　value　to　the　firm　by　a

single　cent；　still；　for　what　could　I　hope？　If　my　salary　were　there　and

then　to　be　doubled；　what　kind　of　support　was　twelve　hundred　dollars　to

offer　Ethel；　with　her　dresses；　and　her　dinners；　and　her　father's

carriage？　For　two　years　I　was　wretchedly　unhappy　beneath　the　many　hours

of　gaiety　that　came　to　me；　as　to　every　young　man。〃



〃Those　two　years　we　could　have　been　in　Michigan；〃　said　Ethel；　〃had　you

understood。〃



〃I　know。　But　understanding；　I　believe　that　I　should　do　the　same　again。　At

the　office；　when　not　busy；　I　wrote　more　poetry；　and　began　also　to　write

prose；　which　I　found　at　the　outset　less　easy。　When　my　first　writings　were

accepted　（they　were　four　sets　of　verses　upon　the　Summer　Resort）　I　felt

that　I　could　soon　address　Ethel；　for　I　had　made　ten　dollars　outside　my

salary。　Had　she　not　been　in　Europe　that　July；　I　believe　that　I　should

have　spoken　to　her　at　once。　But　I　sent　her　the　paper；　and　I　have　the

letter　that　she　wrote　in　reply。〃



〃I〃began　Ethel。　But　she　stopped。



〃Yes；　I　know　now　that　you　kept　the　verses；〃　said　Richard。　〃My　next

manuscript；　however；　was　rejected。　Indeed；　I　went　on　offering　my　literary

productions　nearly　every　week　until　the　following　January　before　a　second

acceptance　came。　It　was　twenty　five　dollars　this　time；　and　almost　made　me

feel　again　that　I　could　handsomely　support　Ethel。　But　not　quite。　After

the　first　charming　elation　at　earning　money　with　my　pen；　those　weeks　of

refusal　had　caused　me　to　think　more　soberly。　And　though　I　was　now　bent

upon　becoming　an　author　and　leaving　Nassau　Street；　I　burned　no　bridges

behind　me；　but　merely　filled　my　spare　hours　with　writing　and　with　showing

it　to　Ethel。〃



〃It　was　now　that　the　second　area　of　perturbation　of　my　life　came　to　me。　I

say　the　second；　because　the　first　had　been　the　recent　dawning　belief　that

Ethel　thought　about　me　when　I　was　not　there　to　remind　her　of　myself。　This

idea　had　stirred　but　you　will　understand。　And　now；　what　was　my　proper；

my　honourable　course？　It　was　a　positive　relief　that　at　this　crisis　she

went　to　Florida。　I　could　think　more　quietly。　My　writing　had　come　to　be

quite　often　accepted；　sometimes　even　solicited。　Should　I　speak　to　her；

and　ask　her　to　wait　until　I　could　put　a　decent　roof　over　her　head；　or

should　I　keep　away　from　her　until　I　could　offer　such　a　roof？　Her　father；

I　supposed；　could　do　something　for　us。　But　I　was　not　willing　to　be　a

pensioner。　His　businesswere　he　generouswould　be　to　provide　cake　and

butter；　but　the　bread　was　to　be　mine　and　bread　was　still　a　long　way　off；

according　to　New　York　standards。　These　things　I　thought　over　while　she

was　in　Florida；　yet　when　once　I　should　I　find　myself　with　her　again；　I

began　to　fear　that　I　could　not　hold　myself　frombut　these　are

circumstances　which　universal　knowledge　renders　it　needless　to　mention；

and　I　will　pass　to　the　second　perturbation。〃



〃A　sum　of　money　was　suddenly　left　me。　Then　for　the　first　time　I　understood

why　I　had　during　my　boyhood　been　so　periodically　sent　to　see　a　cross　old

brother　of　my　mother's；　who　lived　near　Cold　Spring　on　the　Hudson；　and

whom　we　called　Uncle　Snaggletooth　when　no　one　could　hear　us。　Uncle

Godfrey　（for　I　have　called　him　by　his　right　name　ever　since）　died　and　left

me　what　in　those　old　days　six　years　ago　was　still　a　large　amount。　To…day

we　understand　what　true　riches　mean。　But　in　those　bygone　times　six　years

ago；　a　million　dollars　was　a　sum　considerable　enough　to　be　still　seen；　as

it　were；　with　the　naked　eye。　That　was　my　bequest　from　Uncle　Godfrey；　and

I　felt　myself　to　be　the　possessor　of　a　fortune。〃



At　this　point　in　Richard's　narrative；　a　sigh　escaped　from　Ethel。



〃I　know；〃　he　immediately　said；　〃that　money　is　always　welcome。　But　it　is

certainly　some　consolation　to　reflect　how　slight　a　loss　a　million　dollars

is　counted　to…day　in　New　York。　And　I　did　not　lose　all　of　it。〃



〃I　met　Ethel　at　the　train　on　her　return　from　Florida；　and　crossed　with

her　on　the　ferry　from　Jersey　City　to　Desbrosses　Street。　There　I　was

obliged　to　see　her　drive　away　in　the　carriage　with　her　father。〃



〃Mr。　Field；〃　said　Mrs。　Davenport；　〃what　hour　did　that　train　arrive　at

Jersey　City？〃



Richard　looked　surprised。　〃Why；　seven…fifteen　P。　M。；〃　he　replied。　〃The

tenth　of　March。〃



〃Dark！〃　Mrs。　Davenport　exclaimed。　〃Mr。　Field；　you　and　Ethel　were　engaged

before　the　ferry　boat　landed　at　Desbrosses　Street。〃



Richard　and　Ethel　both　sat　straight　up；　but　remained　speechless。



〃Pardon　my　interruption；〃　said　Mrs。　Davenport；　smiling。　〃I　didn't　want　to

miss　a　single　point　in　this　storydo　go　on！〃



Richard　was　obliged　to　burst　out　laughing；　in　which　Ethel；　after　a

moment；　followed　him；　though　perhaps　less　heartily。　And　as　he　continued；

his　blush　subsided。



〃With　my　Uncle　Godfrey's　legacy　I　was　no　longer　dependent　upon　my　salary；

or　my　pen；　or　my　father's　purse；　and　I　decided　that　with　the　money

properly　invested；　I　could　maintain　a　modest　establishment　of　my　own。

Ethel　agreed　with　me　entirely；　and；　after　a　little；　we　disclosed　our

plans　to　our　families；　and　they　met　with　approval。　This　was　in　April；　and

we　thought　of　October　or　November　for　the　wedding。　It　seemed　long　to

wait；　but　it　came　near　being　so　much　longer；　that　I　grow　chilly　now　to

think　of　it。〃



〃Of　course；　I　went　steadily　on　with　my　work　at　the　office　in　Nassau

Street；　nor　did　I　neglect　my　writing　entirely。　My　attention；　however；　was

now　turned　to　the　question　of　investing　my　fortune。　Just　round　the　corner

from　our　office　was　the　firm　of　Blake　and　Beverly；　Stocks　and　Bonds。

Thither　my　steps　began　frequently　to　turn。　Mr。　Beverly　had　business　which

brought　him　every　week　to　the　room　of　our　president；　and　so　having　a　sort

of　acquaintance　with　him；　I　felt　it　easier　to　consult　him　than　to　seek

any　other　among　the　brokers；　to　which　class　I　was　a　well　nigh　total

stranger。　He　very　kindly　consented　to　be　my　adviser。　I　was　well　pleased

to　find　how　much　I　had　underrated　the　interest…bearing　capacity　of　my

windfall。　'Four　per　cent！'　he　cried；　when　I　told　him　this　was　the　extent

of　my　expectations。　'Why；　you're　talking　like　a　trustee。'　And　then　seeing

that　his　meaning　was　beyond　me；　he　explained　in　his　bluff；　humorous

manner。　'All　a　trustee　cares　for　you　know；　is　his　reputation　for　safety。

It's　not　his　own　income　he's　nursing；　and　so　he　doesn't　care　how　small　he

makes　it；　provided　only　that　his　investments　would　be　always　called　safe。

Now　there　are　ways　of　being　safe　without　spending　any　trouble　or　time