a simpleton-第39章

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burst　of　the　sensitive　heart。

He　put　off；　and　put　off；　and　at　last　cowardice　began　to　whisper；
〃Why　tell　her　the　whole　truth　at　all？　　Why　not　take　her　through
stages　of　doubt；　alarm；　and；　after　all；　leave　a　grain　of　hope　till
her　child　gets　so　rooted　in　her　heart　that〃　　But　conscience　and
good　sense　interrupted　this　temporary　thought；　and　made　him　see　to
what　a　horrible　life　of　suspense　he　should　condemn　a　human
creature；　and　live　a　perpetual　lie；　and　be　always　at　the　edge　of
some　pitfall　or　other。

One　day；　while　he　sat　looking　at　her；　with　all　these　thoughts；　and
many　more；　coursing　through　his　mind；　she　looked　up　at　him；　and
surprised　him。　　〃Ah！〃　said　she　gravely。

〃What　is　the　matter；　my　dear？〃

〃Oh；　nothing；〃　said　she　cunningly。

〃Uncle；　dear；〃　said　she　presently；　〃when　do　we　go　to　Herne　Bay？〃

Now；　Dr。　Philip　had　given　that　up。　　He　had　got　the　servants　at　Kent
Villa　on　his　side；　and　he　felt　safer　here　than　in　any　strange
place：　so　he　said；　〃I　don't　know：　that　all　depends。　　There　is
plenty　of　time。〃

〃No；　uncle；〃　said　Rosa　gravely。　　〃I　wish　to　leave　this　house。　　I
can　hardly　breathe　in　it。〃

〃What！　your　native　air？〃

〃Mystery　is　not　my　native　air；　and　this　house　is　full　of　mystery。
Voices　whisper　at　my　door；　and　the　people　don't　come　in。　　The　maids
cast　strange　looks　at　me；　and　hurry　away。　　I　scolded　that　pert　girl
Jane；　and　she　answered　me　as　meek　as　Moses。　　I　catch　you　looking　at
me；　with　love；　and　something　else。　　What　is　that　something？　　It
is　Pity：　that　is　what　it　is。　　Do　you　think；　because　I　am　called　a
simpleton；　that　I　have　no　eyes；　nor　ears；　nor　sense？　　What　is　this
secret　which　you　are　all　hiding　from　one　person；　and　that　is　me？
Ah！　Christopher　has　not　written　these　five　weeks。　　Tell　me　the
truth；　for　I　will　know　it；〃　and　she　started　up　in　wild　excitement。

Then　Dr。　Philip　saw　the　hour　was　come。

He　said；　〃My　poor　girl；　you　have　read　us　right。　　I　am　anxious　about
Christopher；　and　all　the　servants　know　it。〃

〃Anxious；　and　not　tell　ME；　his　wife；　the　woman　whose　life　is　bound
up　in　his。〃

〃Was　it　for　us　to　retard　your　convalescence；　and　set　you　fretting；
and　perhaps　destroy　your　child？　　Rosa；　my　darling；　think　what　a
treasure　Heaven　has　sent　you；　to　love　and　care　for。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　she；　trembling；　〃Heaven　has　been　good　to　me；　I　hope
Heaven　will　always　be　as　good　to　me。　　I　don't　deserve　it；　but　then
I　tell　God　so。　　I　am　very　grateful；　and　very　penitent。　　I　never
forget　that；　if　I　had　been　a　good　wife；　my　husbandfive　weeks　is　a
long　time。　　Why　do　you　tremble　so？　　Why　are　you　so　palea　strong
man　like　you？　　CALAMITY！　　CALAMITY！〃

Dr。　Philip　hung　his　head。

She　looked　at　him；　started　wildly　up；　then　sank　back　into　her
chair。　　So　the　stricken　deer　leaps；　then　falls。　　Yet　even　now　she
put　on　a　deceitful　calm；　and　said；　〃Tell　me　the　truth。　　I　have　a
right　to　know。〃

He　stammered　out；　〃There　is　a　report　of　an　accident　at　sea。〃

She　kept　silence。

〃Of　a　passenger　drownedout　of　that　ship。　　This；　coupled　with　his
silence；　fills　our　hearts　with　fear。〃

〃It　is　worseyou　are　breaking　it　to　meyou　have　gone　too　far　to
stop。　　One　word：　is　he　alive？　　Oh；　say　he　is　alive！〃

Philip　rang　the　bell　hard；　and　said　in　a　troubled　voice；　〃Rosa；
think　of　your　child。〃

〃Not　when　my　husband　　Is　he　alive　or　dead？〃

〃It　is　hard　to　say；　with　such　a　terrible　report　about；　and　no
letters；〃　faltered　the　old　man；　his　courage　failing　him。

〃What　are　you　afraid　of？　　Do　you　think　I　can't　die；　and　go　to　him？
Alive；　or　dead？〃　and　she　stood　before　him；　raging　and　quivering　in
every　limb。

The　nurse　came　in。

〃Fetch　her　child；〃　he　cried；　〃God　have　mercy　on　her。〃

〃Ah；　then　he　is　dead；〃　said　she；　with　stony　calmness。　　〃I　drove　him
to　sea；　and　he　is　dead。〃

The　nurse　rushed　in；　and　held　the　child　to　her。

She　would　not　look　at　it。

〃Dead！〃

〃Yes；　our　poor　Christie　is　gonebut　his　child　is　herethe　image
of　him。　　Do　not　forget　the　mother。　　Have　pity　on　his　child　and
yours。〃

〃Take　it　out　of　my　sight！〃　she　screamed。　　〃Away　with　it；　or　I　shall
murder　it；　as　I　have　murdered　its　father。　　My　dear　Christie；　before
all　that　live！　　I　have　killed　him。　　I　shall　die　for　him。　　I　shall
go　to　him。〃　　She　raved　and　tore　her　hair。　　Servants　rushed　in。
Rosa　was　carried　to　her　bed；　screaming　and　raving；　and　her　black
hair　all　down　on　both　sides；　a　piteous　sight。

Swoon　followed　swoon；　and　that　very　night　brain　fever　set　in　with
all　its　sad　accompaniments；　a　poor　bereaved　creature；　tossing　and
moaning；　pale；　anxious；　but　resolute　faces　of　the　nurse　and　the
kitchen…maid　watching：　on　one　table　a　pail　of　ice；　and　on　another
the　long；　thick　raven　hair　of　our　poor　Simpleton；　lying　on　clean
silver　paper。　　Dr。　Philip　had　cut　it　all　off　with　his　own　hand；　and
he　was　now　folding　it　up；　and　crying　over　it；　for　he　thought　to
himself；　〃Perhaps　in　a　few　days　more　only　this　will　be　left　of　her
on　earth。〃


CHAPTER　XV。


Staines　fell　head…foremost　into　the　sea　with　a　heavy　plunge。　　Being
an　excellent　swimmer；　he　struck　out　the　moment　he　touched　the
water；　and　that　arrested　his　dive；　and　brought　him　up　with　a　slant；
shocked　and　panting；　drenched　and　confused。　　The　next　moment　he
saw；　as　through　a　foghis　eyes　being　full　of　watersomething　fall
from　the　ship。　　He　breasted　the　big　waves；　and　swam　towards　it：　it
rose　on　the　top　of　a　wave；　and　he　saw　it　was　a　life…buoy。
Encumbered　with　wet　clothes；　he　seemed　impotent　in　the　big　waves；
they　threw　him　up　so　high；　and　down　so　low。

Almost　exhausted；　he　got　to　the　life…buoy；　and　clutched　it　with　a
fierce　grasp　and　a　wild　cry　of　delight。　　He　got　it　over　his　head；
and；　placing　his　arms　round　the　buoyant　circle；　stood　with　his
breast　and　head　out　of　water；　gasping。

He　now　drew　a　long　breath；　and　got　his　wet　hair　out　of　his　eyes；
already　smarting　with　salt　water；　and；　raising　himself　on　the　buoy；
looked　out　for　help。

He　saw；　to　his　great　concern；　the　ship　already　at　a　distance。　　She
seemed　to　have　flown；　and　she　was　still　drifting　fast　away　from
him。

He　saw　no　signs　of　help。　　His　heart　began　to　turn　as　cold　as　his
drenched　body。　　A　horrible　fear　crossed　him。

But　presently　he　saw　the　weather…boat　filled；　and　fall　into　the
water；　and　then　a　wave　rolled　between　him　and　the　ship；　and　he　only
saw　her　topmast。

The　next　time　he　rose　on　a　mighty　wave　he　saw　the　boats　together
astern　of　the　vessel；　but　not　coming　his　way；　and　the　gloom　was
thickening；　the　ship　becoming　indistinct；　and　all　was　doubt　and
horror。

A　life　of　agony　passed　in　a　few　minutes。

He　rose　and　fell　like　a　cork　on　the　buoyant　wavesrose　and　fell；
and　saw　nothing　but　the　ship's　lights；　now　terribly　distant。

But　at　last；　as　he　rose　and　fell；　he　caught　a　few　fitful　glimpses
of　a　smaller　light　rising　and　falling　like　himself。　　〃A　boat！〃　he
cried；　and　raising　himself　as　high　as　he　could；　shouted；　cried；
implored　for　help。　　He　stretched　his　hands　across　the　water。　　〃This
way！　this　way！〃

The　light　kept　moving；　but　it　came　no　nearer。　　They　had　greatly
underrated　the　drift。　　The　other　boat　had　no　light。

Minutes　passed　of　suspense；　hope；　doubt；　dismay；　terror。　　Those
minutes　seemed　hours。

In　the　agony　of　suspense　the　quaking　heart　sent　beads　of　sweat　to
the　brow；　though　the　body　was　immersed。

And　the　gloom　deepened；　and　the　cold　waves　flung　him　up　to　heaven
with　their　giant　arms；　and　then　down　again　to　hell：　and　still　that
light；　his　only　hope；　was　several　hundred　yards　from　him。

Only　for　a　moment　at　a　time　could　his　eyeballs；　straining　with
agony；　catch　this　will…o'…the…wisp；　the　boat's　light。　　It　groped
the　sea　up　and　down；　but　came　no　near。

When　what　seemed　days　of　agony　had　passed；　suddenly　a　rocket　rose
in　the　horizonso　it　seemed　to　him。

The　lost　man　gave　a　shriek　of　joy；　so　prone　are　we　to　interpret
things　hopefully。

Misery！　　The　next　time　he　saw　that　little　light；　that　solitary
spark　of　hope；　it　was　not　quite　so　near　as　before。　　A　mortal
sickness　fell　on　his　heart。　　The　ship　had　recalled　the　boats　by
rocket。

He　shrieked；　he　cried；　he　screamed；　he　raved。　　〃Oh；　Rosa！　Rosa！　for
her　sake；　men；　men；　do　not　leave　me。　　I　am　here！　here！〃

In　vain。　　The　miserable　man　saw　the　boat's　little　light　retire；
recede；　and　melt　into　the　ship's　larger　light；　and　that　light
glided　away。

Then；　a　cold；　deadly　stupor　fell　on　him。　　Then；　death's　icy　claw
seized　his　heart；　and　seemed　to　run　from　it　to　every　part　of　him。
He　was　a　dead　man。　　Only　a　question　of　time。　　Nothing　to　gain　by
floating。

But　the　despairing　mind　could　not　quit　the　world　in　peace；　and　even
here　in　the　cold；　cruel　sea；　the　quivering　body　clung　to　this
fragment　of　life；　and　winced　at　death's　touch；　though　more
merciful。

He　despised　this　weakness；　he　raged　at　it；　he　could　not　overcome
it。

Unable　to　live　or　to　die；　condemned　to　float　slowly；　hour　by　hour；
down　into　death's　jaws。

To　a　long；　death…like　stupor　succeeded　frenzy。　　Fury　seized　this
great　and　long…suffering　mind。　　It　rose　against　the　cruelty　and
injustice　of　his　fate。　　He　cursed　the　world；　whose　stupidity　had
driven　him　to　sea；　he　cursed　remorseless　nature；　and　at　last　he
railed　on　the　God　who　made　him；　and　made　the　cruel　water；　that　was
waiting　for　his　body。　　〃God's　justice！　　God's　mercy！　　God's　power！
they　are　all　lies；〃　he　shouted；　〃dreams；　chimeras；　like　Him　the
all…powerful　and　good；　men　babble　of　by　the　fire。　　If　there　was　a
God　more　powerful　than　the　sea；　and　only　half　as　good　as　men　are；
he　would　pity　my　poor　Rosa　and　me；　and　send　a　hurricane　to　drive
those　caitiffs　back　to　the　wretch　they　have　abandoned。　　Nature
alone　is　mighty。　　Oh；　if　I　could　have　her　on　my　side；　and　only　God
against　me！　　But　she　is　as　deaf　to　prayer　as　He　is：　as　mechanical
and　remorseless。　　I　am　a　bubble　melting　into　the　sea。　　Soul　I　have
none；　my　body　will　soon　be　nothing；　nothing。　　So　ends　an　honest；
loving　life。　　I　always　tried　to　love　my　fellow…creatures。　　Curse
them！　curse　them！　　Curse　the　earth！　　Curse　the　sea！　　Curse　all
nature：　there　is　no　other　God　for　me　to　curse。〃

The　moon　came　out。

He　raised　his　head　and　staring　eyeballs；　and　cursed　her。

The　wind　began　to　whistle；　and　flung　spray　in　his　face。

He　raised　his　fallen　head　and　staring　eyeballs；　and　cursed　the
wind。

While　he　was　thus　raving；　he　became　sensible　of　a　black　object　to
windward。

It　looked　like　a　rail；　and　a　man　leaning　on　it。

He　stared；　he　cleared　the　wet　hair　from　his　eyes；　and　stared　again。

The　thing；　being　larger　than　himself　and　partly　out　of　water；　was
drifting　to　leeward　faster　than　himself。

He　stared　and　trembled；　and　at　last　it　came　nearly　abreast；　black；
black。

He　gave　a　loud　cry；　and　tried　to　swim　towards　it；　but　encumbered
with　his　life…buoy；　he　made　little　progress。　　The　thing　drifted
abreast　of　him；　but　ten　yards　distant。

As　they　each　rose　high　upon　the　waves；　he　saw　it　plainly。

It　was　the　very　raft　that　had　been　the　innocent　cause　of　his　sad
fate。

He　shouted　with　hope；　he　swam；　he　struggled；　he　got　near　it；　but
not　to　it；　it　drifted　past；　and　he　lost　his　chance　of　intercepting
it。　　He　struggled　after　it。　　The　life…buoy　would　not　let　him　catch
it。

Then　he　gave　a　cry　of　agony；　rage；　despair；　and　flung　off　the　life…
buoy；　and　risked　all　on　this　one　chance。