the idle thoughts of an idle fellow[1].(一个浪子的随想)-第2章
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half…hour in bed。
Ah！ how delicious it is to turn over and go to sleep again： 〃just for five
minutes。〃 Is there any human being； I wonder； besides the hero of a
Sunday…school 〃tale for boys；〃 who ever gets up willingly？ There are
some men to whom getting up at the proper time is an utter impossibility。
If eight o'clock happens to be the time that they should turn out； then they
lie till half…past。 If circumstances change and half…past eight becomes early
enough for them； then it is nine before they can rise。 They are like the
statesman of whom it was said that he was always punctually half an hour
late。 They try all manner of schemes。 They buy alarm…clocks （artful
contrivances that go off at the wrong time and alarm the wrong people）。
They tell Sarah Jane to knock at the door and call them； and Sarah Jane
does knock at the door and does call them； and they grunt back 〃awri〃 and
then go comfortably to sleep again。 I knew one man who would actually
get out and have a cold bath； and even that was of no use； for afterward he
would jump into bed again to warm himself。
I think myself that I could keep out of bed all right if I once got out。 It
is the wrenching away of the head from the pillow that I find so hard； and
no amount of over…night determination makes it easier。 I say to myself；
after having wasted the whole evening； 〃Well； I won't do any more work
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
to…night； I'll get up early to…morrow morning；〃 and I am thoroughly
resolved to do sothen。 In the morning； however； I feel less enthusiastic
about the idea； and reflect that it would have been much better if I had
stopped up last night。 And then there is the trouble of dressing； and the
more one thinks about that the more one wants to put it off。
It is a strange thing this bed； this mimic grave； where we stretch our
tired limbs and sink away so quietly into the silence and rest。 〃0 bed； 0 bed；
delicious bed； that heaven on earth to the weary head；〃 as sang poor Hood；
you are a kind old nurse to us fretful boys and girls。 Clever and foolish；
naughty and good； you take us all in your motherly lap and hush our
wayward crying。 The strong man full of carethe sick man full of pain
the little maiden sobbing for her faithless loverlike children we lay our
aching heads on your white bosom； and you gently soothe us off to by…by。
Our trouble is sore indeed when you turn away and will not comfort us。
How long the dawn seems coming when we cannot sleep！ Oh！ those
hideous nights when we toss and turn in fever and pain； when we lie； like
living men among the dead； staring out into the dark hours that drift so
slowly between us and the light。 And oh！ those still more hideous nights
when we sit by another in pain； when the low fire startles us every now
and then with a falling cinder； and the tick of the clock seems a hammer
beating out the life that we are watching。
But enough of beds and bedrooms。 I have kept to them too long； even
for an idle fellow。 Let us come out and have a smoke。 That wastes time
just as well and does not look so bad。 Tobacco has been a blessing to us
idlers。 What the civil…service clerk before Sir Walter's time found to
occupy their minds with it is hard to imagine。 I attribute the quarrelsome
nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing
weed。 They had no work to do and could not smoke； and the consequence
was they were forever fighting and rowing。 If； by any extraordinary
chance； there was no war going； then they got up a deadly family feud
with the next…door neighbor； and if； in spite of this； they still had a few
spare moments on their hands； they occupied them with discussions as to
whose sweetheart was the best looking； the arguments employed on both
sides being battle…axes； clubs； etc。 Questions of taste were soon decided in
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
those days。 When a twelfth…century youth fell in love he did not take three
paces backward； gaze into her eyes； and tell her she was too beautiful to
live。 He said he would step outside and see about it。 And if； when he got
out； he met a man and broke his headthe other man's head； I meanthen
that proved that histhe first fellow'sgirl was a pretty girl。 But if the
other fellow broke _his_ headnot his own； you know； but the other
fellow'sthe other fellow to the second fellow； that is； because of course
the other fellow would only be the other fellow to him； not the first fellow
whowell； if he broke his head； then _his_ girlnot the other fellow's； but
the fellow who _was_ the Look here； if A broke B's head； then A's girl
was a pretty girl； but if B broke A's head； then A's girl wasn't a pretty girl；
but B's girl was。 That was their method of conducting art criticism。
Nowadays we light a pipe and let the girls fight it out among
themselves。
They do it very well。 They are getting to do all our work。 They are
doctors； and barristers； and artists。 They manage theaters； and promote
swindles； and edit newspapers。 I am looking forward to the time when we
men shall have nothing to do but lie in bed till twelve； read two novels a
day； have nice little five…o'clock teas all to ourselves； and tax our brains
with nothing more trying than discussions upon the latest patterns in
trousers and arguments as to what Mr。 Jones' coat was made of and
whether it fitted him。 It is a glorious prospectfor idle fellows。
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
ON BEING IN LOVE。
You've been in love； of course！ If not you've got it to come。 Love is
like the measles； we all have to go through it。 Also like the measles； we
take it only once。 One never need be afraid of catching it a second time。
The man who has had it can go into the most dangerous places and play
the most foolhardy tricks with perfect safety。 He can picnic in shady
woods； ramble through leafy aisles； and linger on mossy seats to watch the
sunset。 He fears a quiet country…house no more than he would his own
club。 He can join a family party to go down the Rhine。 He can； to see the
last of a friend； venture into the very jaws of the marriage ceremony itself。
He can keep his head through the whirl of a ravishing waltz； and rest
afterward in a dark conservatory； catching nothing more lasting than a cold。
He can brave a moonlight walk adown sweet…scented lanes or a twilight
pull among the somber rushes。 He can get over a stile without danger；
scramble through a tangled hedge without being caught； come down a
slippery path without falling。 He can look into sunny eyes and not be
dazzled。 He listens to the siren voices； yet sails on with unveered helm。 He
clasps white hands in his； but no electric 〃Lulu〃…like force holds him
bound in their dainty pressure。
No； we never sicken with love twice。 Cupid spends no second arrow
on the same heart。 Love's handmaids are our life…long friends。 Respect；
and admiration； and affection； our doors may always be left open for； but
their great celestial master； in his royal progress； pays but one visit and
departs。 We like； we cherish； we are very； very fond ofbut we never love
again。 A man's heart is a firework that once in its time flashes heavenward。
Meteor…like； it blazes for a moment and lights with its glory the whole
world beneath。 Then the night of our sordid commonplace life closes in
around it； and the burned…out case； falling back to earth； lies useless and
uncared for； slowly smoldering into ashes。 Once； breaking loose from our
prison bonds； we dare； as mighty old Prometheus dared； to scale the
Olympian mount and snatch from Phoebus' chariot the fire of the gods。
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THE IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW。
Happy those who； hastening down again ere it dies out； can kindle their
earthly altars at its flame。 Love is too pure a light to burn long among the
noisome gases that we breathe； but before it is choked out we may use it as
a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection。
And； after all； that warming glow is more suited to our cold little back
parlor of a world than is the burning spirit love。 Love should be the vestal
fire of some mighty templesome vast dim fane whose organ music is the
rolling of the spheres。 Affection will burn cheerily when the white flame
of love is flickered out。 Affection is a fire that can be fed from day to day
and be piled up ever higher as the wintry years draw nigh。 Old men and
women can sit by it with their thin hands clasped； the little children can
nestle down in front； the friend and neighbor has his welcome corner by its
side； and even shaggy Fido and sleek Titty can toast their noses at the bars。
Let us heap the coals of kindness upon that fire。 Throw on your
pleasant words； your gentle pressures of the hand； your thoughtful and
unselfish deeds。 Fan it with good…humor； patience； and forbearance。 You
can let the wind blow and the rain fall unheeded then； for your hearth will
be warm and bright； and the faces round it will make sunshine in spite of
the clouds without。
I am afraid； dear Edwin and Angelina； you expect too much from love。
You think there is enough of your little hearts to feed this fierce； devouring
passion for all your long lives。 Ah； young folk！ don't rely too much upon
that unsteady flicker。 It will dwindle and dwindle as the months roll on；
and there is no replenishing the fuel。 You will watch it die out in anger and
disappointment。 To each it will seem that it is the other who is growing
colder。 Edwin sees with bitterness that Angelina no longer runs to the gate
to meet him； all smiles and b
