the club of queer trades-第16章

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hat　I　began　it　when　I　began　to　be　a　Zulu；　about　the　age　of　ten。　What　I　maintained　was　that　although　you　knew　more　about　Zulus　in　the　sense　that　you　are　a　scientist；　I　know　more　about　them　in　the　sense　that　I　am　a　savage。　For　instance；　your　theory　of　the　origin　of　language；　something　about　its　having　come　from　the　formulated　secret　language　of　some　individual　creature；　though　you　knocked　me　silly　with　facts　and　scholarship　in　its　favour；　still　does　not　convince　me；　because　I　have　a　feeling　that　that　is　not　the　way　that　things　happen。　If　you　ask　me　why　I　think　so　I　can　only　answer　that　I　am　a　Zulu；　and　if　you　ask　me　（as　you　most　certainly　will）　what　is　my　definition　of　a　Zulu；　I　can　answer　that　also。　He　is　one　who　has　climbed　a　Sussex　apple…tree　at　seven　and　been　afraid　of　a　ghost　in　an　English　lane。〃

〃Your　process　of　thought〃　began　the　immovable　Chadd；　but　his　speech　was　interrupted。　His　sister；　with　that　masculinity　which　always　in　such　families　concentrates　in　sisters；　flung　open　the　door　with　a　rigid　arm　and　said：

〃James；　Mr　Bingham　of　the　British　Museum　wants　to　see　you　again。〃

The　philosopher　rose　with　a　dazed　look；　which　always　indicates　in　such　men　the　fact　that　they　regard　philosophy　as　a　familiar　thing；　but　practical　life　as　a　weird　and　unnerving　vision；　and　walked　dubiously　out　of　the　room。

〃I　hope　you　do　not　mind　my　being　aware　of　it；　Miss　Chadd；〃　said　Basil　Grant；　〃but　I　hear　that　the　British　Museum　has　recognized　one　of　the　men　who　have　deserved　well　of　their　commonwealth。　It　is　true；　is　it　not；　that　Professor　Chadd　is　likely　to　be　made　keeper　of　Asiatic　manuscripts？〃

The　grim　face　of　the　spinster　betrayed　a　great　deal　of　pleasure　and　a　great　deal　of　pathos　also。　〃I　believe　it's　true；〃　she　said。　〃If　it　is；　it　will　not　only　be　great　glory　which　women；　I　assure　you；　feel　a　great　deal；　but　great　relief；　which　they　feel　more；　relief　from　worry　from　a　lot　of　things。　James'　health　has　never　been　good；　and　while　we　are　as　poor　as　we　are　he　had　to　do　journalism　and　coaching；　in　addition　to　his　own　dreadful　grinding　notions　and　discoveries；　which　he　loves　more　than　man；　woman；　or　child。　I　have　often　been　afraid　that　unless　something　of　this　kind　occurred　we　should　really　have　to　be　careful　of　his　brain。　But　I　believe　it　is　practically　settled。〃

〃I　am　delighted；〃　began　Basil；　but　with　a　worried　face；　〃but　these　red…tape　negotiations　are　so　terribly　chancy　that　I　really　can't　advise　you　to　build　on　hope；　only　to　be　hurled　down　into　bitterness。　I've　known　men；　and　good　men　like　your　brother；　come　nearer　than　this　and　be　disappointed。　Of　course；　if　it　is　true〃

〃If　it　is　true；〃　said　the　woman　fiercely；　〃it　means　that　people　who　have　never　lived　may　make　an　attempt　at　living。〃

Even　as　she　spoke　the　professor　came　into　the　room　still　with　the　dazed　look　in　his　eyes。

〃Is　it　true？〃　asked　Basil；　with　burning　eyes。

〃Not　a　bit　true；〃　answered　Chadd　after　a　moment's　bewilderment。　〃Your　argument　was　in　three　points　fallacious。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　demanded　Grant。

〃Well；〃　said　the　professor　slowly；　〃in　saying　that　you　could　possess　a　knowledge　of　the　essence　of　Zulu　life　distinct　from〃

〃Oh！　confound　Zulu　life；〃　cried　Grant；　with　a　burst　of　laughter。　〃I　mean；　have　you　got　the　post？〃

〃You　mean　the　post　of　keeper　of　the　Asiatic　manuscripts；〃　he　said；　opening　his　eye　with　childlike　wonder。　〃Oh；　yes；　I　got　that。　But　the　real　objection　to　your　argument；　which　has　only；　I　admit；　occurred　to　me　since　I　have　been　out　of　the　room；　is　that　it　does　not　merely　presuppose　a　Zulu　truth　apart　from　the　facts；　but　infers　that　the　discovery　of　it　is　absolutely　impeded　by　the　facts。〃

〃I　am　crushed；〃　said　Basil；　and　sat　down　to　laugh；　while　the　professor's　sister　retired　to　her　room；　possibly；　possibly　not。

It　was　extremely　late　when　we　left　the　Chadds；　and　it　is　an　extremely　long　and　tiresome　journey　from　Shepherd's　Bush　to　Lambeth。　This　may　be　our　excuse　for　the　fact　that　we　（for　I　was　stopping　the　night　with　Grant）　got　down　to　breakfast　next　day　at　a　time　inexpressibly　criminal；　a　time；　in　point　of　fact；　close　upon　noon。　Even　to　that　belated　meal　we　came　in　a　very　lounging　and　leisurely　fashion。　Grant；　in　particular；　seemed　so　dreamy　at　table　that　he　scarcely　saw　the　pile　of　letters　by　his　plate；　and　I　doubt　if　he　would　have　opened　any　of　them　if　there　had　not　lain　on　the　top　that　one　thing　which　has　succeeded　amid　modern　carelessness　in　being　really　urgent　and　coercivea　telegram。　This　he　opened　with　the　same　heavy　distraction　with　which　he　broke　his　egg　and　drank　his　tea。　When　he　read　it　he　did　not　stir　a　hair　or　say　a　word；　but　something；　I　know　not　what；　made　me　feel　that　the　motionless　figure　had　been　pulled　together　suddenly　as　strings　are　tightened　on　a　slack　guitar。　Though　he　said　nothing　and　did　not　move；　I　knew　that　he　had　been　for　an　instant　cleared　and　sharpened　with　a　shock　of　cold　water。　It　was　scarcely　any　surprise　to　me　when　a　man　who　had　drifted　sullenly　to　his　seat　and　fallen　into　it；　kicked　it　away　like　a　cur　from　under　him　and　came　round　to　me　in　two　strides。

〃What　do　you　make　of　that？〃　he　said；　and　flattened　out　the　wire　in　front　of　me。

It　ran：　〃Please　come　at　once。　James'　mental　state　dangerous。　Chadd。〃

〃What　does　the　woman　mean？〃　I　said　after　a　pause；　irritably。　〃Those　women　have　been　saying　that　the　poor　old　professor　was　mad　ever　since　he　was　born。〃

〃You　are　mistaken；〃　said　Grant　composedly。　〃It　is　true　that　all　sensible　women　think　all　studious　men　mad。　It　is　true；　for　the　matter　of　that；　all　women　of　any　kind　think　all　men　of　any　kind　mad。　But　they　don't　put　it　in　telegrams；　any　more　than　they　wire　to　you　that　grass　is　green　or　God　all…merciful。　These　things　are　truisms；　and　often　private　ones　at　that。　If　Miss　Chadd　has　written　down　under　the　eye　of　a　strange　woman　in　a　post…office　that　her　brother　is　off　his　head　you　may　be　perfectly　certain　that　she　did　it　because　it　was　a　matter　of　life　and　death；　and　she　can　think　of　no　other　way　of　forcing　us　to　come　promptly。〃

〃It　will　force　us　of　course；〃　I　said；　smiling。

〃Oh；　yes；〃　he　replied；　〃there　is　a　cab…rank　near。〃

Basil　scarcely　said　a　word　as　we　drove　across　Westminster　Bridge；　through　Trafalgar　Square；　along　Piccadilly；　and　up　the　Uxbridge　Road。　Only　as　he　was　opening　the　gate　he　spoke。

〃I　think　you　will　take　my　word　for　it；　my　friend；〃　he　said；　〃this　is　one　of　the　most　queer　and　complicated　and　astounding　incidents　that　ever　happened　in　London　or；　for　that　matter；　in　any　high　civilization。〃

〃I　confess　with　the　greatest　sympathy　and　reverence　that　I　don't　quite　see　it；〃　I　said。　〃Is　it　so　very　extraordinary　or　complicated　that　a　dreamy　somnambulant　old　invalid　who　has　always　walked　on　the　borders　of　the　inconceivable　should　go　mad　under　the　shock　of　great　joy？　Is　it　so　very　extraordinary　that　a　man　with　a　head　like　a　turnip　and　a　soul　like　a　spider's　web　should　not　find　his　strength　equal　to　a　confounding　change　of　fortunes？　Is　it；　in　short；　so　very　extraordinary　that　James　Chadd　should　lose　his　wits　from　excitement？〃

〃It　would　not　be　extraordinary　in　the　least；〃　answered　Basil；　with　placidity。　〃It　would　not　be　extraordinary　in　the　least；〃　he　repeated；　〃if　the　professor　had　gone　mad。　That　was　not　the　extraordinary　circumstance　to　which　I　referred。〃

〃What；〃　I　asked；　stamping　my　foot；　〃was　the　extraordinary　thing？〃

〃The　extraordinary　thing；〃　said　Basil；　ringing　the　bell；　〃is　that　he　has　not　gone　mad　from　excitement。〃

The　tall　and　angular　figure　of　the　eldest　Miss　Chadd　blocked　the　doorway　as　the　door　opened。　Two　other　Miss　Chadds　seemed　in　the　same　way　to　be　blocking　the　narrow　passage　and　the　little　parlour。　There　was　a　general　sense　of　their　keeping　something　from　view。　They　seemed　like　three　black…clad　ladies　in　some　strange　play　of　Maeterlinck；　veiling　the　catastrophe　from　the　audience　in　the　manner　of　the　Greek　chorus。

〃Sit　down；　won't　you？〃　said　one　of　them；　in　a　voice　that　was　somewhat　rigid　with　pain。　〃I　think　you　had　better　be　told　first　what　has　happened。〃

Then；　with　her　bleak　face　looking　unmeaningly　out　of　the　window；　she　continued；　in　an　even　and　mechanical　voice：

〃I　had　better　state　everything　that　occurred　just　as　it　occurred。　This　morning　I　was　clearing　away　the　breakfast　things；　my　sisters　were　both　somewhat　unwell；　and　had　not　come　down。　My　brother　had　just　gone　out　of　the　room；　I　believe；　to　fetch　a　book。　He　came　back　again；　however；　without　it；　and　stood　for　some　time　staring　at　the　empty　grate。　I　said；　‘Were　you　looking　for　anything　I　could　get？'　He　did　not　answer；　but　this　constantly　happens；　as　he　is　often　very　abstracted。　I　repeated　my　question；　and　still　he　did　not　answer。　Sometimes　he　is　so　wrapped　up　in　his　studies　that　nothing　but　a　touch　on　the　shoulder　would　make　him　aware　of　one's　presence；　so　I　came　round　the　table　towards　him。　I　really　do　not　know　how　to　describe　the　sensation　which　I　then　had。　It　seems　simply　silly；　but　at　the　moment　it　seemed　something　enormous；　upsetting　one's　brain。　The　fact　is；　James　was　standing　on　one　leg。〃

Grant　smiled　slowly　and　rubbed　his　hands　with　a　kind　of　care。

〃Standing　on　one　leg？〃　I　repeated。

〃Yes；〃　replied　the　dead　voice　of　the　woman　without　an　inflection　to　suggest　that　she　felt　the　fantasticality　of　her　statement。　〃He　was　standing　on　the　left　leg　and　the　right　drawn　up　at　a　sharp　angle；　the　toe　pointing　downwards。　I　asked　him　if　his　leg　hurt　him。　His　only　answer　was　to　shoot　the　leg　straight　at　right　angles　to　the　other；　as　if　pointing　to　the　other　with　his　toe　to　the　wall。　He　was　still　looking　quite　gravely　at　the　fireplace。

〃‘James；　what　is　the　matter？'　　I　cried；　for　I　was　thoroughly　frightened。　James　gave　three　kicks　in　the　air　with　the　right　leg；　flung　up　the　other；　gave　three　kicks　in　the　air　with　it　also　and　spun　round　like　a　teetotum　the　other　way。　‘Are　you　mad？'　I　cried。　‘Why　don't　you　answer　me？'　He　had　come　to　a　standstill　facing　me；　and　was　looking　at　me　as　he　always　does；　with　his　lifted　eyebrows　and　great　spectacled　eyes。　When　I　had　spoken　he　remained　a　second　or　two　motionless；　and　then　his　only　reply　was　to　lift　his　left　foot　slowly　from　the　floor　and　describe　circles　with　it　in　the　air。　I　rushed　to　the　door　and　shouted　for　Christina。　I　will　not　dwell　on　the　dreadful　hours　that　followed。　All　three　of　us　talked　to　him；　implored　him　to　speak　to　us　with　appeals　that　might　have　brought　back　the　dead；　but　he　has　done　nothing　but　hop　and　dance　and　kick　with　a　solemn　silent　face。　It　looks　as　if　his　legs　belonged　to　some　one　else　or　were　possessed　by　devils。　He　has　never　spoken　to　us　from　that　time　to　this。〃

〃Where　is　he　now？〃　I　said；　getting　up　in　some　agitation。　〃We　ought　not　to　leave　him　alone。〃

〃Doctor　Colman　is　with　him；〃　said　Miss　Chadd　calmly。　〃They　are　in　the　garden。　Doctor　Colman　thought　the　air　would　do　him　good。　And　he　can　scarcely　go　into　the　street。〃

Basil　and　I　walked　rapidly　to　the　window　which　looked　out　on　the　garden。　It　was　a　small　and　somewhat　smug　suburban　garden；　the　flower　beds　a　little　too　neat　and　like　the　pattern　of　a　coloured　carpet；　but　on　this　shining　and　opulent　summer　day　even　they　had　the　exuberance　of　something　natural；　I　had　almost　said　tropical。　In　the　middle　of　a　bright　and　verdant　but　painfully　circular　lawn　stood　two　figures。　One　of　them　was　a　small；　sharp…looking　man　with　bla