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the diary of a goose girl(珍苦溺晩芝)-及7嫗

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does     not  appear    whether     Nature    is  on   the  side   of  the   farmer    or  the 

rabbit 。 。 。 

     There   is   as   much   comedy   and   as   much   tragedy   in   poultry   life   as 

anywhere�察  �and   already   I   see   rifts   within   lutes。     We   have   in   a   cage   a 

French gentleman partridge married to a Hungarian lady of defective sight。 

He paces back and forth in the pen restlessly�察�anything but content with the 

domestic      fireside。     One     can   see   plainly    that   he   is  devoted     to  the 

Boulevards�察�and that if left to his own inclinations he would never have 

chosen any spouse but a thorough Parisienne。 

     The    Hungarian      lady   is  blind   of  one   eye�察  �from   some     stray   shot�察 �I 

suppose。      She is melancholy at all times�察�and occasionally goes so far as 

to beat her head against the wire netting。              If liberated�察�Mr。 Heaven says 

that her blindness would only expose her to death at the hands of the first 

sportsman�察  �and   it   always   seems   to   me   as   if   she   knows   this�察  �and   is   ever 



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trying to decide whether a loveless marriage is any better than the tomb。 

     Then�察�again�察�the great�察�grey gander is�察�for some mysterious reason�察�out 

of favour with the entire family。           He is a noble and amiable bird�察�by far 

the   best   all´round   character   in   the   flock�察  �for   dignity   of   mien   and   large´ 

minded       common´sense。         What     is   the  treatment     vouchsafed      to  this 

blameless husband and father�拭            �One that puts anybody out of sorts with 

virtue and its scant rewards。         To begin with�察�the others will not allow him 

to go into the pond。         There is an organised cabal against it�察�and he sits 

solitary on the bank�察�calm and resigned�察�but�察�naturally�察�a trifle hurt。                 His 

favourite retreat is a tiny sort of island on the edge of the pool under the 

alders�察  �where   with   his   bent   head�察  �and   red´rimmed   philosophic   eyes   he 

regards   his   own   breast   and   dreams   of   happier   days。     When   the   others 

walk into the country twenty´three of them keep together�察�and Burd Alane 

��as I have named him from the old ballad�� walks by himself。                   The lack of 

harmony is so evident here�察�and the slight so intentional and direct�察�that it 

almost moves me to tears。            The others walk soberly�察�always in couples�察�

but even Burd Alane's rightful spouse is on the side of the majority�察�and 

avoids her consort。 

     What     is  the   nature   of  his   offence�拭    �There    can   be   no   connubial 

jealousies�察�I judge�察�as geese are strictly monogamous�察�and having chosen a 

partner of their joys and sorrows they cleave to each other until death or 

some   other   inexorable   circumstance   does   them   part。         If   they   are   ever 

mistaken in their choice�察�and think they might have done better�察�the world 

is none the wiser。       Burd Alane looks in good condition�察�but Phoebe thinks 

he is not quite himself�察�and that some day when he is in greater strength he 

will turn on his   foes   and rend   them�察�regaining thus his lost prestige�察 �for 

formerly he was king of the flock。 

     * * * 

     Phoebe has not a vestige of sentiment。             She just asked me if I would 

have a duckling or a gosling for dinner�察�that there were two quite ready 

the brown and yellow duckling�察�that is the last to leave the water at night�察�

and the white gosling that never knows his own 'ouse。                    Which would I 

'ave�察�and would I 'ave it with sage and onion�拭�

     Now�察�had I found a duckling on the table at dinner I should have eaten 



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it   without    thinking    at  all�察  �or  with  the   thought   that    it  had  come     from 

Barbury  Green。         But   eat   a   duckling that   I   have   stoned out   of the   pond�察�

pursued up the bank�察�chased behind the wire netting�察�caught�察�screaming�察�in 

a corner�察�and carried struggling to his bed�拭�Feed upon an idiot gosling that 

I have found in nine different coops on nine successive nightsin with the 

newly´hatched         chicks�察    �the   half´grown      pullets�察   �the   setting    hen�察   �the 

;invaleed goose�察─�the drake with the gapes�察�the old ducks in the pen��Eat 

a gosling that I have caught and put in with his brothers and sisters ��whom 

he   never   recognises��   so   frequently  and   regularly  that   I   am  familiar   with 

every joint in his body�拭�

     In   the   first   place�察  �with   my   own   small   bump   of   locality   and   lack   of 

geography�察  �I   would   never   willingly   consume   a   creature   who   might�察  �by 

some   strange  process   of   assimilation�察 �make   me   worse   in   this   respect�察  �in 

the    second    place�察   �I  should    have    to  be   ravenous     indeed     to  sit  down 

deliberately and make a meal of an intimate friend�察�no matter if I had not a 

high   opinion   of   his   intelligence。     I   should   as   soon   think   of   eating   the 

Square Baby�察�stuffed with sage and onion and garnished with green apple´ 

sauce�察�as the yellow duckling or the idiot gosling。 

     Mrs。 Heaven has just called me into her sitting´room�察�ostensibly to ask 

me to order breakfast�察�but really for the pleasure of conversation。                       Why 

she   should   inquire   whether   I   would   relish   some   gammon   of   bacon   with 

eggs�察�when she knows that there has not been�察�is not now�察�and never will 

be�察�anything but gammon of bacon with eggs�察�is more than I can explain。 

     ;Would you like to see my flowers�察�miss�拭─�she asks�察�folding her plump 

hands   over   her   white   apron。      ;They  are   looking   beautiful   this   morning。 

I am so fond of potted plants�察�of plants in pots。              Look at these geraniums� �

Now�察�I consider that pink one a perfect bloom�察�yes�察�a perfect bloom。                      This 

is a fine red one�察�is it not�察�miss�拭�Especially fine�察�don't you think�拭                     �The 

trouble with the red variety is that they're apt to get ;bobby; and have to 

be washed regularly�察�quite bobby they do get indeed�察�I assure you。                        That 

white one has just gone out of blossom�察�and it was really wonderful。                       You 

could 'ardly have told it from a paper flower�察�miss�察�not from a white paper 

flower。     My plants are my children nowadays�察�since Albert Edward is my 

only care。      I have been the mother of eleven children�察�miss�察�all of them 



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living�察�so far as I know�察�I know nothing to the contrary。                    I 'ope you are 

not   wearying   of this   solitary  place�察  �miss�拭      �It   will   grow   upon   you�察  �I   am 

sure�察�as it did upon Mrs。 Pollock�察�with all her peculiar fancies�察�and as it 'as 

grown upon us。We formerly had a butcher's shop in Buffington�察�and it 

was naturally a great responsibility。            Mr。 Heaven's nerves are not strong�察�

and at last he wanted a life of more quietude�察�more quietude was what he 

craved。      The life of a retail butcher is a most exciting and wearying one。 

Nobody satisfied with their meat�察�as if it mattered in a world of change� �

Everybody complaining of too much bone or too little fat�察�nobody wishing 

tough   chops   or   cutlets�察  �but   always   seeking   after   fine   joints�察  �when   it's 

against   reason   and   nature   that   all   joints   should   be   juicy   and   all   cutlets 

tender�察�always complaining if livers are not sent with every fowl�察�always 

asking you to remember the trimmin's�察�always wanting their beef well 'ung�察�

and then if you 'ang it a minute too long�察�it's left on your 'ands�                    �I often 

used to say to Mr。 Heaven�察�yes many's the time I've said it�察�that if people 

would   think   more   of   the   great   'ereafter   and   less   about   their   own   little 

stomachs�察�it would be a deal better for them�察�yes�察�a deal better�察�and make it 

much more comfortable for the butchers� ─�

     * * * 

     Burd Alane has had a good quarter of an hour to´day。 

     His   spouse   took   a   brief   promenade   with   him。        To   be   sure�察  �it   was 

during an absence of the flock on the other side of the hedge so that the 

moral effect of her spasm of wifely loyalty was quite lost upon them。                         I 

strongly   suspect   that   she   would   not   have   granted   anything   but   a   secret 

interview。      What a petty�察�weak�察�ignoble character�               �I really don't like to 

think so badly of any fellow´ creature as I am forced to think of that politic�察�

time´serving�察      �pusillanimous       goose。     I   believe    she   laid   the   egg    that 

produced the idiot gosling� �



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                               CHAPTER IX 



     Here follows the true story of Sir Muscovy Drake�察�the Lady Blanche�察�

and Miss Malardina Crippletoes。 

     Phoebe's   flock     consisted   at   first  mostly   of  Brown   Mallards�察     �but   a 

friend   gave   her   a   sitting   of   eggs   warranted   to   produce   a   most   beautiful 

variety of white ducks。         They were hatched in due time�察�but proved hard 

to   raise�察  �till   at   length   there   was   only   one   survivor�察  �of   such   uncommon 

grace    and   beauty    that  we    called   her  the   Lady   Blanche。      Presently     a 

neighbour      sold   Phoebe     his  favourite    Muscovy      drake�察   �and   these   two 

splendid creatures by ;natural selection; disdained to notice the rest of the 

flock�察 �but   forming   a   close   friendship�察  �wandered   in   the  pleasant   paths   of 

duckdom together�察�swimming and eating quite apart from the others。 

     In the brown flock there was one unfortunate�察�misshapen from the egg�察�

quite lame�察�and with no smoothness of plumage�察�but on that very account�察�

apparently�察�or because she was too weak to resist them�察�the others treated 

her cruelly�察�biting her and pushing her away from the food。 

     One     day   it  happened    that   the  two   ducksSir     Muscovy      and   Lady 

Blanchehad come up from the water before the others�察�and having taken 

their repast were sitting together under the shade of a flowering currant´ 

bush�察  �when   they   chanced   to   see   poor   Miss   Crippletoes   very   badly   used 

and   crowded   away  from   the   dish。      Sir   Muscovy  rose 

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