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CHREMES
And if the women have you beaten��
CITIZEN
I shall summon them。
CHREMES
And if they laugh in your face��
CITIZEN
I shall stand near the door。。。
CHREMES
And then��
CITIZEN
。。。and seize upon the dishes as they pass。
CHREMES
Then go there�察�but after me。 Sicon and Parmeno�察�pick up all this
baggage。
CITIZEN
Come�察�I will help you carry it。
CHREMES ��pushing him away��
No�察�no�察�I should be afraid of your pretending to the leader that
what I am depositing belonged to you。
��Exit with his belongings。��
CITIZEN
Let me see� �let me think of some good trick by which I can keep my
goods and yet take my share of the common feast。 ��He reflects for a
moment。�� Ha� �that's a fine idea� �Quick� �I'll go and dine�察�ha� �ha��
��Exit laughing。��
��Interlude of dancing by the CHORUS。��
��The scene shifts to a different section of Athens and the two
houses are now to be thought of as those of two prostitutes。��
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��leaning out of the window of one house��
How is this�拭�no men are coming�拭�And yet it must be fully time��
Then it is for naught that I have painted myself with white lead��
dressed myself in my beautiful yellow robe�察�and that I am here��
frolicking and humming between my teeth to attract some passer´by� �Oh��
Muses�察�alight upon my lips�察�inspire me with some soft Ionian
love´song��
YOUNG GIRL ��in the window of the other house��
You putrid old thing�察�you have placed yourself at the window
before me。 You were expecting to strip my vines during my absence
and to trap some man in your snares with your songs。 If you sing�察�I
shall follow suit�察�all this singing will weary the spectators�察�but
is nevertheless very pleasant and very diverting。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��thumbing her nose at the YOUNG GIRL��
Ha� �here is an old man�察�take him and lead him away。 ��To the
flute´player�� As for you�察�you young flute´player�察�let us hear some
airs that are worthy of you and me。
��She sings��
Let him who wishes to taste pleasure come to my side。 These
young things know nothing about it�察�it's only the women of ripe age
who understand the art of love�察�and no one could know how to fondle
the lover who possessed me so well as myself�察�the young girls are
all flightiness。
YOUNG GIRL ��singing in her turn��
Don't be jealous of the young girls�察�voluptuousness resides in the
pure outline of their beautiful limbs and blossoms on their rounded
breasts�察�but you�察�old woman�察�you who are tricked out and perfumed as
if for your own funeral�察�are an object of love only for grim Death
himself。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��singing again��
May your tongue be stopped�察�may you be unable to find your couch
when you want to be loved。 And on your couch�察�when your lips seek a
lover�察�may you embrace only a viper��
YOUNG GIRL ��singing again��
Alas� �alas� �what is to become of me�拭�There is no lover� �I am
left here alone�察�my mother has gone out。 ��Interrupting her song��
There's no need to mention the rest。 ��Then singing again�� Oh� �my
dear nurse�察�I adjure you to call Orthagoras�察�and may heaven bless you。
Ah� �poor child�察�desire is consuming you like an Ionian woman��
��interrupting again�� and yet you are no stranger to the wanton arts of
the Lesbian women。 ��Resuming her song�� But you shall not rob me of
my pleasures�察�you will not be able to reduce or filch the time that
first belongs to me。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Sing as much as you please�察�peep out like a cat lying in wait�察�but
none shall pass through your door without first having been to see me。
YOUNG GIRL
If anyone enter your house�察�it will be to carry out your corpse。
And that will be something new for you�察�you rotten old thing��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Can anything be new to an old woman�拭�My old age will not harm you。
YOUNG GIRL
Ah� �shame on your painted cheeks��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Why do you speak to me at all��
YOUNG GIRL
And why do you place yourself at the window��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
I am singing to myself about my lover�察�Epigenes。
YOUNG GIRL
Can you have any other lover than that old fop Geres��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Epigenes will show you that himself�察�for he is coming to me。
See�察�here he is。
YOUNG GIRL
He's not thinking of you in the least。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Aye�察�but he is。
YOUNG GIRL
Old starveling� �Let's see what he will do。 I will leave my window。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
And I likewise。 You will see I am much wiser than you。
A YOUNG MAN ��sings��
Ah� �could I but sleep with the young girl without first making
love to the old flat´nose� �It is intolerable for a free´born man。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��singing to the same tune��
Willy nilly�察�you must first gratify my desire。 There shall be no
nonsense about that�察�for my authority is the law and the law must be
obeyed in a democracy。
��Speaking�� But come�察�let me hide�察�to see what he's going to do。
��She retires。��
YOUNG MAN
Ah� �ye gods�察�if I were to find the sweet child alone� �the wine has
fired my lust。
YOUNG GIRL ��reappearing in her window��
I have tricked that cursed old wretch�察�she has left her window��
thinking I would stay at home。 Ah� �here is the lover we were talking
of。
��She sings��
This way�察�my love�察�this way�察�come here and haste to rest the whole
night in my arms。 I worship your lovely curly hair�察�I am consumed with
ardent desire。 Oh� �Eros�察�in thy mercy�察�compel him to my bed。
YOUNG MAN ��standing beneath the YOUNG GIRL'S window and singing��
Come down and haste to open the door unless you want to see me
fall dead with desire。 Dearest treasure�察�I am burning to yield
myself to voluptuous sport�察�lying on your bosom�察�to let my hands
play with your bottom。 Aphrodite�察�why dost thou fire me with such
delight in her�拭�Oh� �Eros�察�I beseech thee�察�have mercy and make her
share my couch。 Words cannot express the tortures I am suffering。
Oh� �my adored one�察�I adjure you�察�open your door for me and press me to
your heart�察�'tis for you that I am suffering。 Oh� �my jewel�察�my idol��
you child of Aphrodite�察�the confidante of the Muses�察�the sister of the
Graces�察�you living picture of voluptuousness�察�oh� �open for me�察�press
me to your heart�察�'tis for you that I am suffering。
��He knocks。��
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��reappearing suddenly��
What are you knocking for�拭�Are you looking for me��
YOUNG MAN
What an idea��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But you were tapping at the door。
YOUNG MAN
Death would be sweeter。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Why do you come with that torch in your hand��
YOUNG MAN
I am looking for a man from Anaphlystia。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
What's his name��
YOUNG MAN
Oh� �it's not Sebinus�察�whom no doubt you are expecting。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��taking him by the arm��
By Aphrodite�察�you must�察�whether you like it or not。
YOUNG MAN ��shaking her off
We are not now concerned with cases dated sixty years back�察�they
are remanded for a later day�察�we are dealing only with those of less
than twenty。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
That was under the old order of things�察�sweetheart�察�but now you
must first busy yourself with us。
YOUNG MAN
Aye�察�if I want to�察�according to the rules of draughts�察�where we
may either take or leave。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But it's not according to the rules of draughts that you take your
seat at the banquet。
YOUNG MAN
I don't know what you mean�察�it's at this door I want to knock。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��standing in his way��
Not before knocking at mine first。
YOUNG MAN ��haughtily��
For the moment I really have no need for old leather。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
I know that you love me�察�perhaps you are surprised to find me at
the door。 But come�察�let me kiss you。
YOUNG MAN ��pulling back�察�sarcastically��
No�察�no�察�my dear�察�I am afraid of your lover。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Of whom��
YOUNG MAN
The most gifted of painters。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
And who is he��
YOUNG MAN
The artist who paints the little bottles on coffins。 But get you
indoors�察�lest he should find you at the door。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
I know what you want。
YOUNG MAN
I can say as much of you。
FIRST OLD WOMAN ��hanging on to him��
By Aphrodite�察�who has granted me this good chance�察�I won't let you
go。
YOUNG MAN
You are drivelling�察�you little old hag。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Rubbish� �I am going to lead you to my couch。
YOUNG MAN
What need for buying hooks�拭�I will let her down to the bottom of
the well and pull up the buckets with her old carcase�察�for she's
crooked enough for that。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
A truce to your jeering�察�poor boy�察�and follow me。
YOUNG MAN
Nothing compels me to do so�察�unless you have paid the levy of five
hundredths for me。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Look�察�by Aphrodite�察�there is nothing that delights me as much as
sleeping with a lad of your years。
YOUNG MAN
And I abhor such as you�察�and I will never�察�never consent。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
But�察�by Zeus�察�here is something will force you to it。
��She shows him a document。��
YOUNG MAN
What's that��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
A decree�察�which orders you to enter my house。
YOUNG MAN
Read it out then�察�and let's hear。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Listen。 ;The women have decreed that if a young man desires a
young girl�察�he can only lay her after having satisfied an old woman��
and if he refuses and goes to seek the maiden�察�the old women are
authorized to seize him and drag him in。;
YOUNG MAN
Alas� �I shall become a Procrustes。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Obey the law。
YOUNG MAN
But if a fellow´citizen�察�a friend�察�came to pay my ransom��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
No man may dispose of anything above a medimnus。
YOUNG MAN
But may I not enter an excuse��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
There's no evasion。
YOUNG MAN
I shall declare myself a merchant and so escape service。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Beware what you do��
YOUNG MAN
Well� �what is to be done��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Follow me。
YOUNG MAN
Is it absolutely necessary��
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Yes�察�as surely as if Diomedes had commanded it。
YOUNG MAN
Well then�察�first spread out a layer of origanum upon four pieces
of wood�察�bind fillets round your head�察�bring phials of scent and place
a bowl filled with lustral water before your door。
FIRST OLD WOMAN
Will you buy a chaplet for me too��
YOUNG MAN
Yes�察�if