the daisy chain, or aspirations-第138章

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longer　a　novelty　and　occasion　of　immediate　terror；　but　the　token　of
the　waning　power　of　life。

Till　she　was　better；　her　father　had　no　thoughts　for　aught　else；　but；
as　with　many　another　invalid；　the　relief　from　present　distress　was　as
cheering　as　if　it　had　been　recovery；　and　ere　night；　her　placid　look
of　repose　had　returned；　and　she　was　devising　pretty　greetings　for　her
newest　Daisy。

Perhaps　the　sobering　effect　of　these　hours　of　anxiety　was　in　Norman's
favour；　on　entering　into　conversation　with　his　father。　　Those
visions；　which　had　had　their　swing　the　night　before；　belonged　to　the
earlier；　more　untamed　period　of　Dr。　May's　life；　and　had　melted　away
in　the　dim　room；　made　sacred　by　lingering　mementos　of　his　wife；　and
in　the　sound　of　that　panting　breath　and　throbbing　heart。　　His
vehemence　had　been；　after　all；　chiefly　against　his　own　misgivings；
and　when　he　heard　of　his　son's　resolution；　and　Meta's　more　than
acquiescence；　he　was　greatly　touched；　and　recurred　to　his　kind；
sorrowful　promise；　that　he　would　never　be　a　stumbling…block　in　the
path　of　his　children。　　Still　he　owned　himself　greatly　allured　by　the
career　proposed　by　Lord　Cosham；　and　thought　Norman　should　consider
the　opportunities　of　doing　good　in；　perhaps；　a　still　more　important
and　extensive　field　than　that　which　he　had　chosen。

〃Time　was　that　I　should　have　grasped　at　such　a　prospect；〃　said
Norman；　〃but　I　am　not　the　man　for　it。　　I　have　too　much　ambition；　and
too　little　humility。　　You　know；　father；　how　often　you　have　had　to
come　to　my　rescue；　when　I　was　running　after　success　as　my　prime
object。〃

〃Vanity　fair　is　a　dangerous　place；　but　you　who　have　sound　principles
and　pure　motives〃

〃How　long　would　my　motives　be　pure？〃　said　Norman。　　〃Rivalry　and
party…spirit　make　me　distrust　my　motives；　and　then　my　principles　feel
the　shock。　　Other　men　are　marked　by　station　for　such　trials；　and　may
be　carried　through　them；　but　I　am　not。〃

〃Yet　some　of　these　men　are　far　from　your　equals。〃

〃Not　perhaps　in　speechifying；〃　said　Norman；　smiling；　〃but　in
steadiness　of　aim；　in　patience；　in　callousness；　in　seeing　one　side　of
the　question　at　once。〃

〃You　judge　rightly　for　your　own　peace；　you　will　be　the　happier；　I
always　doubted　whether　you　had　nerve　to　make　your　wits　available。〃

〃It　may　be　cowardice；〃　said　Norman；　〃but　I　think　not。　　I　could　burn
for　the　combat；　and　if　I　had　no　scruples；　I　could　enjoy　bearing　down
such　as〃

Of　course　Dr。　May　burst　in　with　a　political　name；　and〃I　wish　you
were　at　him！〃

〃Whether　I　could　is　another　matter；〃　said　Norman；　laughing；　〃but　the
fact　is；　that　I　stand　pledged；　and　if　I　embraced　what　to　me　would　be
a　worldly　career；　I　should　be　running　into　temptation；　and　could　not
expect　to　be　shielded　from　it。〃

〃Your　old　rule；〃　said　Dr。　May。　　〃Seek　to　be　less　rather　than　more。
But　there　is　another　choice。　　Why　not　a　parsonage　at　home？〃

〃Pleasant　parishes　are　not　in　the　same　need；〃　said　Norman。

〃I　wonder　what　poor　old　Rivers　would　say　to　you；　if　he　knew　what　you
want　to　do　with　his　daughter！　　Brought　up　as　she　has　beento　expose
her　to　the　roughness　of　a　colonial　life；　such　as　I　should　hesitate
about　for　your　sisters。〃

〃It　is　her　own　ardent　desire。〃

〃True；　but　are　girlish　enthusiasms　to　be　trusted？　　Take　care；　Norman；
take　care　of　hershe　is　a　bit　of　the　choicest　porcelain　of　human
kind；　and　not　to　be　rudely　dealt　with。〃

〃No；　indeed；　but　she　has　the　brave　enterprising　temper；　to　which　I
fully　believe　that　actual　work；　in　a　good　cause；　is　far　preferable　to
what　she　calls　idleness。　　I　do　not　believe　that　we　are　likely　to　meet
with　more　hardship　than　she　would　gladly　encounter；　and　would　almost…
…nay；　quite　enjoy。〃

〃You　do　not　know　what　your　aunt　has　had　to　go　through。〃

〃A　few　years　make　a　great　difference　in　a　colony。　　Still；　it　may　be
right　for　me　to　go　out　alone　and　judge　for　her；　but　we　shall　know
more　if　my　aunt　comes　home。〃

〃Yes；　I　could　trust　a　good　deal　to　her。　　She　has　much　of　your
mother's　sense。　　Well；　you　must　settle　it　as　you　can　with　Meta's
people！　　I　do　not　think　they　love　the　pretty　creature　better　than　I
have　done　from　the　first　minute　we　saw　herdon't　you　remember　it；
Norman？〃

〃Remember　it？　　Do　I　not？　　From　the　frosted　cedar　downwards！　　It　was
the　first　gem　of　spring　in　that　dreary　winter。　　What　a　Fairyland　the
Grange　was　to　me！〃

〃You　may　nearly　say　the　same　of　me；〃　confessed　Dr。　May；　smiling；　〃the
sight　of　that　happy　little　sunny　spirit；　full　of　sympathy　and
sweetness；　always　sent　me　brighter　on　my　way。　　Wherever　you　may　be；
Norman；　I　am　glad　you　have　her；　being　one　apt　to　need　a　pocket
sunbeam。〃

〃I　hope　my　tendencies　are　in　no　danger　of　depressing　her！〃　said
Norman；　startled。　　〃If　so〃

〃No　such　thingshe　will　make　a　different　man　of　you。　　You　have　been
depressed　bythat　early　shock；　and　the　gap　at　our　own　firesideall
that　we　have　shared　together；　Norman。　　To　see　you　begin　on　a　new
score；　with　a　bright　home　of　your　own；　is　the　best　in　this　world　that
I　could　wish　for　you；　though　I　shall　live　over　my　own　twenty…two
years　in　thinking　of　you；　and　that　sweet　little　fairy。　　But　now　go；
Normanshe　will　be　watching　for　you　and　news　of　Margaret。　　Give　her
all　sorts　of　love　from　me。〃

Norman　fared　better　with　the　uncle　than　he　had　expected。　　Lord
Cosham；　as　a　philanthropist；　could　not；　with　any　consistency；　set　his
face　against　missions；　even　when　the　cost　came　so　near　home；　and　he
knew　that　opposition　made　the　like　intentions　assume　a　heroic　aspect
that　maintained　them　in　greater　force。　　He　therefore　went　over　the
subject　in　a　calm　dispassionate　manner；　which　exacted　full　and
grateful　consideration　from　the　young　man。

The　final　compromise　was；　that　nothing　should　be　settled　for　a　year；
during　which　Norman　would　complete　his　course　of　study；　and　the
matter　might　be　more　fully　weighed。　　Mrs。　Arnott　would　probably
return；　and　bring　experience　and　judgment；　which　would；　or　ought　to；
decide　the　questionthough　Meta　had　a　secret　fear　that　it　might
render　it　more　complicated　than　ever。　　However；　the　engagement　and
the　mission　views　had　both　been　treated　so　much　more　favourably　than
could　have　been　hoped；　that　they　felt　themselves　bound　to　be　patient
and　forbearing。　　As　Meta　said；　〃If　they　showed　themselves　wilful
children；　they　certainly　did　not　deserve　to　be　trusted　anywhere。〃

Lord　Cosham　made　his　niece　listen　to　a　kind　exhortation　not　to　press
her　influence　towards　a　decision　that　might　be　repented；　when　too
late　to　be　repaired；　without　a　degrading　sense　of　failureputting
her　in　mind　of　the　privations　that　would　lose　romance　by　their
pettiness；　and　which　money　could　not　remedy；　and　very　sensibly
representing　that　the　effect　of　these　on　temper　and　health　was　to　be
duly　considered　as　a　serious　impediment　to　usefulness。

〃It　would　be　worse　for　him　alone；〃　said　Meta。

〃That　is　not　certain；〃　said　her　uncle。　　〃A　broken…down　wife　is　a
terrible　drag。〃

〃I　know　it　is　so；〃　said　Meta　firmly；　〃but　risks　must　be　run；　and　he
is　willing　to　take　the　chance。　　I　do　not　think　it　can　be　presumption；
for；　you　know；　I　am　strong；　and　Dr。　May　would　say　if　he　could　not
warrant　me。　　I　fancy　household　work　would　be　more　satisfactory　and
less　tiring　than　doing　a　season　thoroughly；　and　I　mean　to　go　through
a　course　of　Finchley　manuals　in　preparation。〃

〃I　hope　you　know　what　you　are　doing；〃　sighed　her　uncle。　　〃You　see　it
all　couleur　de　rose。〃

〃I　think　not。　　It　is　because　it　is　not　couleur　de　rose　that　I　am　so
much　bent　upon　it。　　I　have　had　plenty　of　that　all　my　life。　　I　expect
much　that　will　be　very　disagreeable　and　not　at　all　heroic；　but　if　I
can　only　make　Norman　think　it　fun；　that　will　be　one　purpose　answered。
I　do　believe　he　will　do　his　work　better　for　having　me；　and；　at　least；
I　shall　pay　his　passage。〃

Her　uncle　shook　his　head；　but　did　not　try　to　say　any　more。　　George
had　begun　by　loud　exclamations　against　the　project；　in　which　he　was
vehemently　abetted　by　Tom；　who　primed　him　with　all　sorts　of
outrageous　abuse　of　the　niggers　and　cannibals；　who　would　make
Norman's　coats　out　of　all　shape；　and　devour　little　Meta　at　a
mouthfulpredictions　which　Meta　accepted　most　merrily；　talking　of
herself　so　resignedly；　as　bound　upon　a　spit；　and　calling　out　to　be
roasted　slower　and　faster；　that　she　safely　conducted　off　their
opposition　by　way　of　a　standing　joke。　　As　to　Norman's　coats；　she
threatened　to　make　them　herself；　and　silenced　Tom　for　ever　by
supposing；　in　malicious　simplicity；　that　he　must　be　able　to　teach　her
the　most　unexceptional　cut。

Flora　kept　her　opinions　to　herself。　　Only　once；　when　urged　to
remonstrate；　she　said；　〃I　could　notI　would　not。〃

She　was　gently　and　touchingly　considerate　towards　the　lovers；
silently　but　unobtrusively　obviating　all　that　could　jar　on　their
feelings；　and　employing　her　exquisite　tact　in　the　kindest　manner。

She　released　Meta　from　the　expedition　to　Ryde；　silencing　scruples　on
the　one　hand；　by　a　suggestion　of　〃poor　Sir　Henry；〃　and；　on　the　other；
by　offering　to　exchange　her　for　Mary。　　The　first　proposal　made　Mary
take　such　a　spring　in　her　chair；　with　eyes　so　round；　and　cheeks　so
red；　and　such　a　shriek　about　Harry　and　the　Bucephalus；　that　no　one
could　have　borne　to　say　one　word　in　opposition；　even　if　it　had　not
been　the　opinion　of　the　Council　that　sea　air　would　best　repair　Mary's
strength。

Ethel　had　some　private　fears　of　a　scene；　since　it　was　one　of　Miss
Bracy's　idiosyncrasies　to　be　hurt　whenever　Mary　was　taken　out　of　her
hands；　and　she　went　to　announce　the　design；　in　dread　lest　this　shock
should　destroy　the　harmony　that　had　prevailed　for　many　months；　nay；
she　almost　believed；　since　the　loss　of　the　Alcestis　had　been　known。

She　was　agreeably　surprised。　　Miss　Bracy　thought　Mary　in　need　of　the
change；　and　discussed　both　her　and　Blanche　in　so　pleasant　and
sensible　a　manner；　that　Ethel　was　quite　relieved。　　She　partook　in
Mary's　anticipations　of　pleasure；　forwarded　her　preparations；　and　was
delighted　with　her　promise　of　letterspromises　that　Mary　bestowed　so
largely；　in　the　fullness　of　her　heart；　that　there　were　fears　lest　her
whole　time　should　be　spent　in　writing。

Her　soft　heart　indulged　in　a　shower　of　tears　when　she　wished　them　all
good…bye；　and　Ethel　and　Blanche　found　the　house　was　very　empty
without　her；　but　that　was　only　till　Meta　came　in　from　a　walk　with
Norman；　and；　under　the　plea　of　trying　to　supply　Mary's　place；　did　the
work　of　five　Maries；　and　a　great　deal　besides。

Nothing　could　be　happier　than　Meta's　visit；　brightening　the　house　so
that　the　Mays　thought　they　had　never　known　half　her　charms；　helping
whatever　was　going　on；　yet　ready　to　play　with　Daisy；　tell　stories　to
Aubrey；　hear　Tom's　confidences；　talk　to　Margaret；　read　with　Norman；
and　teach　Richard　singing　for　his　school　children。　　The　only　vexation
was；　that　every　one　could　not　always　engross　her　entirely；　and　Dr。
May　used　to　threaten　that　they　should　never　spare　her　to　that　long…
legged　fellow；　Norman。

She　had　persuaded　Bellairs　to　go　and　take　care　of　Flora　and　Mary；
instead　of　the　French　maida　plan　which　greatly　satisfied　Margaret；
who　had　never　liked　the　looks　of　Coralie；　and　which　Meta　held　to　be　a
grand　emancipation。　　She　persuaded　old　nurse　to　teach　her　to　be
useful；　and　Margaret　used　to　declare　that　s