adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第43章
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“I knew you were not in bed； my dear；” she said； in her sweet
clear voice； which was irritating to Hetty； mingling with her own
peevish vexation like music with jangling chains； “for I heard you
moving； and I longed to speak to you again to…night； for it is the
last but one that I shall be here； and we don’t know what may
happen to…morrow to keep us apart。 Shall I sit down with you
while you do up your hair？”
“Oh yes；” said Hetty； hastily turning round and reaching the
second chair in the room； glad that Dinah looked as if she did not
notice her ear…rings。
Dinah sat down； and Hetty began to brush together her hair
before twisting it up； doing it with that air of excessive indifference
which belongs to confused self…consciousness。 But the expression
of Dinah’s eyes gradually relieved her； they seemed unobservant
of all details。
“Dear Hetty；” she said； “It has been borne in upon my mind to…
night that you may some day be in trouble—trouble is appointed
for us all here below； and there comes a time when we need more
comfort and help than the things of this life can give。 I want to tell
you that if ever you are in trouble； and need a friend that will
always feel for you and love you； you have got that friend in Dinah
Morris at Snowfield； and if you come to her； or send for her； she’ll
never forget this night and the words she is speaking to you now。
Will you remember it； Hetty？”
“Yes；” said Hetty； rather frightened。 “But why should you think
I shall be in trouble？ Do you know of anything？”
Hetty had seated herself as she tied on her cap； and now Dinah
leaned forwards and took her hands as she answered； “Because；
dear； trouble comes to us all in this life： we set our hearts on things
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which it isn’t God’s will for us to have； and then we go sorrowing；
the people we love are taken from us； and we can joy in nothing
because they are not with us； sickness comes； and we faint under
the burden of our feeble bodies； we go astray and do wrong； and
bring ourselves into trouble with our fellow…men。 There is no man
or woman born into this world to whom some of these trials do not
fall； and so I feel that some of them must happen to you； and I
desire for you； that while you are young you should seek for
strength from your Heavenly Father； that you may have a support
which will not fail you in the evil day。”
Dinah paused and released Hetty’s hands that she might not
hinder her。 Hetty sat quite still； she felt no response within herself
to Dinah’s anxious affection； but Dinah’s words uttered with
solemn pathetic distinctness； affected her with a chill fear。 Her
flush had died away almost to paleness； she had the timidity of a
luxurious pleasure…seeking nature； which shrinks from the hint of
pain。 Dinah saw the effect； and her tender anxious pleading
became the more earnest； till Hetty； full of a vague fear that
something evil was some time to befall her； began to cry。
It is our habit to say that while the lower nature can never
understand the higher； the higher nature commands a complete
view of the lower。 But I think the higher nature has to learn this
comprehension； as we learn the art of vision； by a good deal of
hard experience； often with bruises and gashes incurred in taking
things up by the wrong end； and fancying our space wider than it
is。 Dinah had never seen Hetty affected in this way before； and；
with her usual benignant hopefulness； she trusted it was the
stirring of a divine impulse。 She kissed the sobbing thing； and
began to cry with her for grateful joy。 But Hetty was simply in that
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excitable state of mind in which there is no calculating what turn
the feelings may take from one moment to another； and for the
first time she became irritated under Dinah’s caress。 She pushed
her away impatiently； and said； with a childish sobbing voice；
“Don’t talk to me so； Dinah。 Why do you come to frighten me？ I’ve
never done anything to you。 Why can’t you let me be？”
Poor Dinah felt a pang。 She was too wise to persist； and only
said mildly； “Yes； my dear； you’re tired； I won’t hinder you any
longer。 Make haste and get into bed。 Good…night。”
She went out of the room almost as quietly and quickly as if she
had been a ghost； but once by the side of her own bed； she threw
herself on her knees and poured out in deep silence all the
passionate pity that filled her heart。
As for Hetty； she was soon in the wood again—her waking
dreams being merged in a sleeping life scarcely more fragmentary
and confused。
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Chapter XVI
Links
rthur Donnithorne； you remember； is under an
Aengagement with himself to go and see Mr。 Irwine this
Friday morning； and he is awake and dressing so early
that he determines to go before breakfast； instead of after。 The
rector； he knows； breakfasts alone at half…past nine； the ladies of
the family having a different breakfast…hour； Arthur will have an
early ride over the hill and breakfast with him。 One can say
everything best over a meal。
The progress of civilisation has made a breakfast or a dinner an
easy and cheerful substitute for more troublesome and
disagreeable ceremonies。 We take a less gloomy view of our errors
now our father confessor listens to us over his egg and coffee。 We
are more distinctly conscious that rude penances are out of the
question for gentlemen in an enlightened age； and that mortal sin
is not incompatible with an appetite for muffins。 An assault on our
pockets； which in more barbarous times would have been made in
the brusque form of a pistol…shot； is quite a well…bred and smiling
procedure now it has become a request for a loan thrown in as an
easy parenthesis between the second and third glasses of claret。
Still； there was this advantage in the old rigid forms； that they
committed you to the fulfilment of a resolution by some outward
deed： when you have put your mouth to one end of a hole in a
stone wall and are aware that there is an expectant ear at the
other end； you are more likely to say what you came out with the
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intention of saying than if you were seated with your legs in an
easy attitude under the mahogany with a companion who will
have no reason to be surprised if you have nothing particular to
say。
However； Arthur Donnithorne； as he winds among the pleasant
lanes on horseback in the morning sunshine； has a sincere
determination to open his heart to the rector； and the swirling
sound of the scythe as he passes by the meadow is all the
pleasanter to him because of this honest purpose。 He is glad to see
the promise of settled weather now； for getting in the hay； about
which the farmers have been fearful； and there is something so
healthful in the sharing of a joy that is general and not merely
personal； that this thought about the hay…harvest reacts on his
state of mind and makes his resolution seem an easier matter。 A
man about town might perhaps consider that these influences
were not to be felt out of a child’s story…book； but when you are
among the fields and hedgerows； it is impossible to maintain a
consistent superiority to simple natural pleasures。
Arthur had passed the village of Hayslope and was approaching
the Broxton side of the hill； when； at a turning in the road； he saw
a figure about a hundred yards before him which it was impossible
to mistake for any one else than Adam Bede； even if there had
been no grey； tailless shepherd…dog at his heels。 He was striding
along at his usual rapid pace； and Arthur pushed on his horse to
overtake him； for he retained too much of his boyish feeling for
Adam to miss an opportunity of chatting with him。 I will not say
that his love for that good fellow did not owe some of its force to
the love of patronage： our friend Arthur liked to do everything that
was handsome； and to have his handsome deeds recognised。
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Adam looked round as he heard the quickening clatter of the
horse’s heels； and waited for the horseman； lifting his paper cap
from his head with a bright smile of recognition。 Next to his own
brother Seth； Adam would have done more for Arthur
Donnithorne than for any other young man in the world。 There
was hardly anything he would not rather have lost than the two…
feet ruler which he always carried in his pocket； it was Arthur’s
present； bought with his pocket…money when he was a fair…haired
lad of ele
