gc.thewhiterose-第39章
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〃I should have known better。 I saw how he pushed people away if they tried to get close in any way that was not pletely one…sided and under his control。 But after the horrible things he did in Juniper I thought I could be the one to redeem him。 On the road south; when we were running from the dark danger of the Lady and light danger of the pany; I betrayed my true feelings。 I opened the lid on a chest of dreams nurtured from a time before I was old enough to think about men。
〃He became a changed man。 A frightened animal caught in a cage。 He was relieved when news came that the Lieutenant had appeared with some of the pany。 It was not but a matter of hours before he was 'dead。'
〃I suspected then。 I think a part of me always knew。 And that is why I am not so devastated now as you want。 Yes。 I know you know I cry myself to sleep sometimes。 I cry for a little girl's dreams。 I cry because the dreams will not die; though I am powerless to make them e true。 I cry because the one thing I truly want I cannot have。 Do you understand?〃
I thought about Lady; and Lady's situation; and nodded。 I signed nothing back。
〃I am going to cry again。 Go out。 Please。 Tell Silent to e。〃
I did not have to look for him。 He was waiting in the conference room。 I watched him go inside; wondering if I was seeing things or seeing things。
She'd certainly given me something to think about。
Chapter Forty…Three: PICNIC
Put on any deadline and time accelerates。 The clockwork of the universe runs off an overwound mainspring。 Four days went down the Jakes; zip! And I did not waste much time sleeping。
Ardath and I translated。 And translated。 And translated。 She read; translating aloud。 I wrote till my hands cramped。 Occasionally Silent took over for me。
I spot…checked by slipping in documents already done; especially those both Tracker and I had worked。 Not once did I catch a misinterpretation。
That fourth morning I did catch something。 We were doing one of those lists。 This soiree must have been so big that if held today; we'd call it a war。 Or at least a riot。 On and on。 So…and…so of such…and…such; with Lady Who's…is; sixteen titles; four of which made sense。 By the time the heralds finished proclaiming everyone; the party must have died or encroaching senility。
Anyway; along about the middle of the list I heard a little catch in her breath。 Aha! I said to myself。 A bolt strikes close。 My ears pricked up。
She went on smoothly。 Moments later I was not sure I had not imagined it。 Reason told me the name that startled her would not be the one she was speaking。 She was toddling along at my writing pace。 Her eyes would be well ahead of my hand。
Not one of the names that followed clanged any bell。
I would go over the list later; just in case; hoping she had deleted something。
No such luck。
e afternoon she said; 〃Break; Croaker。 I'm going for tea。 You want some?〃
〃Sure。 Maybe a hunk of bread; too。〃 I scribbled another half minute before realizing what had happened。
What? The Lady herself offering to fetch? Me putting in an order without thinking? I got a case of the nerves。 How much was she role…playing? How much pretending for fun? It must be centuries since she got her own tea。 If ever。
I rose; started to follow; halted outside my cell door。
Fifteen steps down the tunnel; in the grungy; feeble lamplight; Otto had cornered her against the wall。 He was talking some shit。 Why I had not foreseen the problem I do not know。 I doubted that she had。 Surely it was not one she faced normally。
Otto got pushy。 I started to go break it up then vacillated。 She might be angered by my interference。
A light step from the other direction。 Elmo。 He paused。 Otto was too single…minded to notice us。
〃Better do something;〃 Elmo said。 〃We don't need that kind of trouble。〃
She did not appear frightened or upset。 〃I think maybe she can handle it。〃
Otto got a 〃no〃 that could not be misinterpreted。 But he did not accept it。 He tried to lay hands on。
He got a ladylike slap for his trouble。 Which angered him。 He decided to take what he wanted。 As Elmo and I moved forward; he disappeared in a flurry of kicks and punches that set him down in the muck on the floor; holding his belly with one arm and that arm with the other。 Ardath went on as though nothing had happened。
I said; 〃I told you she could handle it。〃
〃Remind me not to overstep myself;〃 Elmo said。 Then he grinned and tapped my arm。 〃Bet she's mean on the horizontal。 Eh?〃
Damned if I did not blush。 I gave him a foolish grin。 It only confirmed his suspicions。 What the hell。 Anything would have。 That is the way those things go。
We lugged Otto to my room。 I thought he would puke up his guts。 But he controlled himself。 I checked for broken bones。 He was just bruised。 〃All yours; Elmo;〃 I said; for I knew the old sergeant was rehearsing a few choice words。
He took Otto by the elbow and said; 〃Step down to my office; soldier。〃 He started dirt tumbling from the tunnel overheads when he explained the facts of life。
When Ardath returned she behaved as if nothing had happened。 Perhaps she missed us watching。 But after half an hour she asked; 〃Can we take a break? Go outside? Walk?〃
〃You want me to e?〃
She nodded。 〃We need to talk。 Privately。〃
〃All right。〃
To tell the truth; whenever I lifted my nose from my work I got a little claustrophobic myself。 My venture westward reminded me how good it is to stretch one's legs。 〃Hungry?〃 I asked。 〃Too serious to make a picnic?〃
She looked startled; then charmed; by the idea。 〃Good。 Let's do that。〃
So we went to the cook and baker and filled a bucket and went topside。 Though she did not notice everyone smirking; I did。
There is but one door in the Hole。 To the conference room; behind which Darling's personal quarters lie。 Neither my quarters nor Ardath's had so much as a curtain closure。 Folks figured we were off for the privacy of the wide open spaces。
Dream on。 Up there would be more spectators than down below。 They just would not be human。
The sun was maybe three hours short of setting when we stepped outside; and it smacked us right in the eyes。 Rough。 But I expected it。 Should have warned her。
We strolled up the creek; breathing slightly sagey air and saying nothing。 The desert was silent。 Not even Father Tree stirred。 The breeze was insufficient to sigh in the coral。 After a while I said; 〃Well?〃
〃I needed to get out。 The walls were closing in。 The null made it worse。 I feel helpless down there。 It preys on the mind。〃
〃Oh。〃
We rounded a coral head and encountered a menhir。 One of my old buddies; I guess; for he reported; 〃There are strangers on the Plain; Croaker。〃
〃No lie?〃 Then: 〃Which strangers; rock?〃 But it had nothing more to say。
〃They're always like that?〃
〃Or worse。 Well。 The null begins to fade。 Feel better?〃
〃I felt better the moment I stepped outside。 That's the gate to Hell。 How can you people live like that?〃
〃It isn't much; but it's home。〃
We came to bare earth。 She halted。 〃What's this?〃
〃Old Father Tree。 You know what they think we're up to; down there?〃
〃I know。 Let them think it。 Call it protective coloration。 That is your Father Tree?〃 She indicated Himself。
〃That's him。〃 I walked on。 〃How you doing today; old…timer?〃
Must be fifty times I have asked that。 I mean; the old guy is remarkable; but just a tree。 Right? I did not expect a response。 But Father Tree's leaves started tinkling the moment I spoke。
〃e back here; Croaker。〃 The Lady's voice was manding; hard; a little shaken。 I turned and marched。
〃Back to your old self?〃 From the corner of my eye I caught a shadow in motion; off toward the Hole。 I concentrated on a bit of coral and nearby brush。 〃Keep your voice down。 We have an eavesdropper。〃
〃That's no surprise。〃 She spread the ragged blanket she had brought; sat down with her toes right at the edge of the barren。 She removed the rag covering the bucket。 I settled beside her; positioned so I could watch that shadow。 〃Do you know what that is?〃 she asked; nodding at the tree。
〃Nobody does。 It's just Old Father Tree。 The desert clans call him a god。 We've seen no evidence of that。 One…Eye and Goblin were impressed with the fact that he stands almost exactly on the geographical center of the Plain; though。〃
〃Yes。 I suppose 。 。 。 So much was lost in the fall。 I should have suspected 。 。 。 My husband was not the first of his kind。 Croaker。 Nor the White Rose the first of hers。 It is a grand cycle; I believe。〃
〃You've lost me。〃
〃A very long time ago; even as I measure time; there was another war like that between the Dominator and the White Rose。 The light overcame the shadow。 But as always; the shadow left its taint on the victors。 In order to end the struggle; they summoned a thing from another world; plane; dimension; what…have…you; the way Goblin might conjure a demon; only this thing was an adolescent god。 Of sorts。 In a sapling avatar。 These events were legendary only in my youth; when much more of the past survived; so details are open to question。 But it was a summoning of such scope; and such price; that thousands perished and counties were devastated。 But they planted their captive god over the grave of their great enemy; where it would keep him enchained。 This tree…god would live a million years。〃
〃You mean? 。 。 。 Old Father is sitting on something like the Great Barrow?〃
〃I did not connect the legends and the Plain till I saw that tree。 Yes。 This earth constrains something as virulent as my husband。 So much suddenly makes sense。 It all fits。 The beasts。 The impossible talking rocks。 Coral reefs a thousand miles from the sea。 It all leaked through from that other world。 The change storms are the tree's dreams。〃
She rattled on; not so much explaining as putting things together for herself。 I gaped and remembered the change storm that caught me on the way west。 Was I accursed; to be caught in a god's nightmare?
〃This is crazy;〃 I said; and at the same instant decrypted the shape I had been trying to pry from the shadows; bushes; and coral。
Silent。 Squatting on his hams; motionless as a snake awaiting prey。 Silent; who had been everywhere I went the last three days; like an extra shadow; seldom noticed because he was Silent。 Well。 So much for my confidence that my return with a panion had tickled no suspicions。
〃This is a bad place to be; Croaker。 Very bad。 Tell that deaf peasant wench to move。〃
〃If I did that; I would have to explain why and reveal who gave me the advice。 I doubt she would be impressed。〃
〃I suppose you're right。 Well; it won't matter much longer。 Let's eat。〃
She opened a packet and set out what looked like fried rabbit。 But there are no rabbits on the Plain。 〃For all they got kicked around; their adventure toward Horse improved the larder。〃 I dug in。
Silent remained motionless in the corner of my eye。 You bastard; I thought。 I hope you're drooling。
Three pieces of rabbit later I slowed enough to ask; 〃That about the old…timer is interesting; but does it have any relevance?〃
Father Tree was raising a ruckus。 I wondered why。 〃Are you afraid of him?〃
She did not answer。 I c