ericlustbader.the ninja-第83章

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　in　battle　or　by　one's　own　hand　with　calmness　and　ritual。　To　the　otherwise　would　mean　terrible；　insupportable　shame　throughout　eternity；　an　awful　karma　brought　into　the　next　life　or；　far　worse；　carried　into　the　infinity　of　limbo。
　This　intimate　thanatopsis　had　made　him　hard　and　he　almost　regretted　having　killed　the　Chinese　boy。　He　had　been　so　good。　But　there　had　been　no　choice　just　as；　long　ago；　there　had　been　no　choice　…
　Somewhere　in　the　night　he　had　been　full　of　hate；　a　pernicious　boiling　that　had　all　but　swamped　in　his　long；　exquisite　training。　It　is　a　true　measure　of　how　emotions　can　warp　the　soul；　he　told　himself　now；　sitting　up　on　his　single　black　futon；　and　he　cursed　the　day　that　Yukio　had　e　into　his　life。　O　Amida！　he　cried　silently。
　But　this　early　hour　was　like　crystal　for　him。　He　had　thought；　in　the　dark；　to　blunder　into　them　tonight。　To　move　fast；　fast；　fast；　to　catch　them　both　quickly；　Nicholas　and　Tomkin。　But　while　he　had　slept　in　the　land　of　death；　his　mind　had　been　at　work　and　now　he　knew　that　there　might　be　more　for　him　than　just　the　death　of　those　two。　He　thought　of　the　straits　and　shuddered。　Voices　seemed　to　fill　his　mind；　screaming　louder　as　he　inhaled；　moaning　like　the　autumn　wind　as　he　exhaled。　He　held　his　breath；　squeezed　his　eyes　shut　for　long　moments　until　the　voices　faded。
　Yes；　he　thought；　rising　and　beginning　to　bathe；　his　training　had　taught　him　that　there　were　things　far　worse　for　an　enemy　than　merely　slitting　his　belly。
　The　world；　he　knew；　was　one　great　wheel；　an　ellipse　one　was　bound　to　by　karma。　Wheels　within　wheels；　plans　within　plans。　By　day's　end；　his　mind　would　be　tranquil。　Then；　if　death　should　e；　he　would　fling　wide　his　arms　and　wele　it。
　It　was　a　splendid　day；　clear　and　still　cool　with　just　a　few　touches　of　gauzy　cirrus　clouds　high　up　in　the　west。　Far　too　splendid　to　spend　hanging　around　the　house；　Justine　thought；　as　she　threw　her　bags　on　the　bed。
　The　beach　on　Dune　Road　looked　inviting　as　she　went　round　the　side　of　the　house　and　took　the　car　out　on　to　the　road。
　She　went　east　on　the　highway；　having　no　specific　destination　in　mind；　but　seeking　the　exit　for　Watermill　reminded　her　of　a　beach　in　that　area　she　had　heard　talked　about　again　and　again。　Flying　Point。
　It　was　no　surprise　to　her　that　she　got　lost；　but　this　far　out　on　the　South　Shore　it　was　difficult　to　get　too　lost　and　at　length　she　found　herself　at　Flying　Point　beach。　She　got　out　and；　locking　up；　went　out　on　the　sand。
　She　was　still　far　too　full　of　energy　to　lie　down　so　she　walked。
　The　beach　was　wide；　surprisingly　free　of　debris；　with　sand；　of　a　very　pale　colour。
　The　surf　was　up；　curling　high　in　a　translucent　green　arc　crowned　by　white　spume　before　tumbling　forward　onto　the　sand　in　a　dazzle　of　silver　spray。
　It　was　far　from　crowded　this　early　in　the　morning；　though　the　beaches　this　far　out　were　never　jammed　the　way　places　like　Jones　Beach　always　seemed　to　be。
　It　was　quiet；　peaceful　with　the　repetitive　sounds　of　the　sea　and　the　gulls　calling　as　they　wheeled　into　the　sun。
　The　character　of　the　beach　changed　so　subtly　that　for　a　long　time　she　was　not　even　aware　of　any　difference；　but　presently　it　seemed　to　her　as　if　it　had　bee　somewhat　more　familiar。　For　instance；　she　knew　that　she　was　ing　upon　a　narrow　spit　of　land　before　she　turned　the　curve　of　〃the　beach　and　saw　it　lying　before　her。　As　this　began　to　happen　more　frequently　she　began　to　wonder　…where　in　fact　she　was。
　Then；　as　she　happened　to　look　up　from　the　beach　to　the　houses　she　was　passing　on　her　right；　she　saw　the　familiar　spires。　She　Kit　a　brief　twist　in　her　stomach　as　if　she　was　plunging　downward　in　a　high…speed　elevator；　wondering　how　she　could　have　been　so　stupid。　Flying　Point　was　just　east　of　South　Hampton　and　Gin　Lane。
　There　it　stood　in　all　its　looming　splendour。　The　family　house。
　As　she　stared；　she　saw　the　wooden；　gate　swing　open　and　a　figure　e　down　the　slatted　redwood　stairs　onto　the　dunes。
　My　God；　she　thought。　It's　Gelda！
　Her　first　instinct　was　to　turn　round　and　simply　walk　away　but　she　was　rooted　to　the　spot；　thinking：　what　the　hell　is　she　doing　at　the　house？
　On　the　sand；　Gelda　had　poised　and　now　she　took　off　her　sunglasses。
　She's　seen　me；　Justine　thought；　panic…stricken。　I　can't　walk　away　now。
　Gelda　came　towards　Justine。　They　stood　facing　each　other　on　the　near…deserted　beach　at　a　distance　at　which　a　pair　of　duelists　might　stand　preparatory　to　firing　at　each　other。
　'Justine！'
　'Well！'
　'What　a　surprise。'　Her　eyes　had　gone　dull；　as　if　an　iron　gate　had　e　crashing　down　behind　them。　They　talked　as　stiffly　as　if　they　were　two　strangers　awkwardly　thrown　together　at　a　party　neither　of　them　had　wanted　to　attend。
　'Are　you　here　with　。。。　anyone？'
　The　wind　whipped　about　them；　making　streamers　of　their　hair　as　if　they　were　pennants　on　a　field　of　battle。
　'No；　I'm　waiting　for　someone。'
　'I　am　too。'
　'Well。'
　'Yes。'　She　did　not　want　to　admit　to　herself　how　much　Gelda　had　changed。　How　beautiful　she　was　now。　How　gracefully　she　moved。　And　behind　that；　a　kind　of　confidence　that　…　well；　she　had　always　had　enough　confidence　for　them　both。　It　was　Gelda　who　always　had　the　boyfriends；　who　was　always　asked　to　parties　and　to　football　games。　It　was　Gelda　who　could　ice…skate　so　exquisitely　…　her　movements　on　the　ice　totally　belying　her　weight　…　her　dates　soon　clung　to　the　side　railings；　watching　her　with　unabashed　awe。
　Justine　was　always　too　young　for　this　or　for　that；　too　skinny　for　the　boys　to　notice　her；　too　clumsy　for　sports。　She　drew　instead　and　became　more　isolated；　her　envy　feeding　upon　itself　like　a　ravenous　cannibal。
　'Is　Father　here？'
　Gelda　shook　her　head。　'No；　he's　in　the　city。'　She　hesitated　a　moment；　debating　with　herself。　'He's　in　some　kind　of　trouble。'
　'That's　nothing　new。'
　'No；　but　I　thought　you　would　be　concerned　…　at　the　very　least。　You　always　were　with　Mother。'
　And　there　it　was；　staring　at　them　both　in　the　face　like　an　ugly　red　sore。
　'I　can't　help　the　way　Mother　felt；'　Justine　said　defensively。　Anger　began　to　fill　her　up；　and　if　she　had　ever　entertained　the　thought　of　telling　her　sister　about　Nicholas　it　fled　now。
　'And　I　can't　help　being　the　way　I　am。'
　'That　was　always　your　excuse　for　doing　just　what　you　wanted。'
　They　stared　at　each　other　silently。　Justine　was　appalled　yet　unable　to　initiate　any　action。　My　God；　she　thought　despairingly；　we're　kids　again。　We　can't　think　like　adults　when　we're　around　each　other；　just　intent　on　hurting　each　other　all　over　again。
　Gelda　squinted　into　the　sun。　'D'you　want　to　e　inside　for　a　while？'
　'No；　I　…'
　'Oh；　e　on；　Justine。　You　can　unbend　that　much；　I　imagine。〃
　'You　have　felt　it；　also。'
　'Yes。　During　the　night。　This　morning。　I　don't　know　when。'
　'It　is　important　that　you　are　here。'
　'There　was　nowhere　else　to　go；'　Nicholas　said。
　Fukashigi　smiled　thinly。
　There　were　no　classes　today　and　the　dojo　seemed　enormous　in　its　emptiness。　Sadly；　it　reminded　Nicholas　of　the　last　time　he　had　seen　Kansatsu　on　the　ryu　outside　Tokyo。　And　it　occurred　to　him　that　much　of　his　life　since　then　had　been　spent　simply　floating；　the　days　and　nights　gently　rocking　him　as　they　blended　together；　lulling　him　to　sleep　on　the　tide　of　their　passage。
　What　had　he　really　acplished　in　America？　What　could　he　have　done　with　that　time　had　he　stayed　in　Japan？　So　much　time。　And　if　he　had　never　begun　his　studies　in　bujutsu？　What　then？　What　would　he　be　now？　Some　high　government　functionary；　no　doubt；　with　a　high　salary　and　a　perfect　garden。　Two　weeks　each　year　in　Kyoto　or　somewhere　on　the　seashore；　even　Hong　Kong；　perhaps；　in　a　season　when　it　was　not　overrun　by　Western　tourists。　A　loyal　wife　and　a　family。　Children　to　drool　on　him　and　laugh　with。
　The　void；　he　realized；　is　only　noticeable　when　it　is　no　longer　there。　Justine。　Justine。　Justine。　His　reward　for　at　last　swatting　down　the　past。　He　very　much　wished　to　see　again　the　graves　of　his　parents；　to　kneel　before　their　sokoba；　to　light　the　incense　sticks；　to　say　the　litany　of　prayer　over　them。
　'You　have　brought　it？'　Fukashigi　said。
　'Yes；　I　knew　I　must　one　day；　though　I　don't　know　why。'
　'e。'
　Fukashigi　led　him　through　the　abandoned　dojo；　striped　with　shadow　and　pale　sunlight　bleeding　through　the　ragged　rents　in　the　flying　lengths　of　oblique　cloud　that　marbled　the　summer　sky。
　At　the　threshold　to　the　back　rooms；　Nicholas　shed　his　shoes；　Fukashigi　his　geta；　and　the　old　man　took　him　to　the　very　rear　of　the　building；　to　a　room　with　a　raised　floor　of　tatamis。　He　pushed　aside　the　shoji　and　they　entered。
　Sitting　cross…legged；　Fukashigi　waved　his　hand　gracefully。　'Please　place　it　between　us。'
　Nicholas　put　the　parcel　he　had　been　carrying　down　onto　the　tatami　and　unwrapped　it。　There　was　the　dragon　and　tiger　box　that　So…Peng　had　given　to　his　parents。
　'Open　it。'　Fukashigi's　voice　held　a　certain　reverence。
　Nicholas　obeyed；　lifting　the　heavy　lid　to　display　the　nine　cut　emeralds。
　All　of　Fukashigi's　breath　seemed　to　go　out　of　him　as　he　gazed　at　those　nine　bits　of　mineral　which　seemed　to　glow　and　spark　in　the　low　light。
　'I　never　thought；'　the　old　man　said　softly；　'that　I　would　see　such　a　sight。'　He　sighed。　'And　they　are　all　here。　All　nine　of　them。'
　He　looked　up。　The　square　room　was　immaculate；　spacious；　harmonious；　calming。
　'Time　changes　many　things。　When　you　came　to　me　so　many　years　ago　in　Kyoto　it　was；　I　think；　only　the　letter　from　my　friend　Kansatsu　that　stopped　me　from　dismissing　you　out　of　hand。　Oh；　so　you　did　not　know　that。　Well；　it　is　true。　And；　to　be　pletely　truthful；　even　after　I　had　read　the　letter；　I　thought　that　I　might　be　making　a　grievous　mistake。　After　all；　Aka　i　ninjutsu；　history　informs　us；　is　no　acquired　trait　but　a　serious　calling　…quite　as　serious；　quite　as　mysterious　as　the　calling　to　serve　Amida　Buddha　…　to　which　one　is　born　and　bred。
　'I　can　tell　you　that　I　had　grave　doubts　concerning　your　entrance　into　Aka　i　ninjutsu；　despite　what　Kansatsu　wrote。　He　is　no　ninja；　I　thought；　therefore　　　he　cannot　know。　But　a　breach　of　our　security　had　already　been　created　and；　of　course；　you　came　to　me　appearing　a　Westerner。　I　knew　only　that　Kansatsu　had　not　lost　his　mind。
　'Of　course；　to　have　sent　you　away　would　have　been；　I　know　now；　a　mistake。'　His　fingertips　caressed　the　box　before　him。　He　smiled。　'You　see；　I　am　not；　as　I　understand　was　so　often　said　of　me　in　those　days；　omniscient。'
　'It　is　still　said。'
　The　old　man　inclined　his　head　slightly。　'So？　It　is；　as　you　can　see；　an　untruth。　It　was　through　Kansatsu's　intuitiveness　that　you　became　the　first　student　of　mixed　blood　at　the　Tenshin　Shoden　Katori　ryu。　The　only　one　such。　A　signal　honour；　an　unorthodox　decision　on　my　part。　Still；　I　do　not　regret　it。　The　ryu　has　had　no　finer　student　in　all　the　years　that　it　was　mine。'
　Now　it　was　Nicholas's　turn　to　incline　his　head。
　'But　you　came　to　us　for　a　reason；…did　you　not？　And　now　the　time　has　e。　It　has　begun。'
　'I　regret　to　say；　sensei；　that　it　began　some　time　ago。'　And　he　told　the　old　man　about　the　murders。
　Fukashigi　sat　quite　still　and　there　was　silence　for　a　time　after　Nicholas　had　finished。　His　head　swivelled　and　his　cool　gaze　swept　over　Nicholas's　face。　'When　you　joined　us　you　took　certain　vows；　just　as　you　did　at　every　step　of　your　training。　You　must　have　known　what　was　mencing　the