cb.coldheart canyon-第39章

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　 〃So　you　let　people　do　what　they　wanted？〃
　 〃More　or　less。〃　She　returned　to　the　book。　〃You　see　the　symbols　beside　the　names？〃
　 Todd　nodded；　somewhat　tentatively。　The　conversation　had　taken　a　turn　he　was　by　no　means　certain　he　liked。　It　was　one　thing　to　talk　about　freedom　in　Coldheart　Canyon；　it　was　another　to　have　her　boasting　about　babies　sucking　dicks。　〃All　the　symbols　mean　something　different；〃　she　said。　〃Look　here。　That　squiggle　there；　that　means　snakes。　That　knotted　rope？　That　means　being　bound　up。　The　more　knots　in　the　rope　the　more　bound　the　person　likes　to　be。　So。。。here。。。Barrymore。。。his　rope　has　six　knots　in　it。　So　he　liked　to　be　very　well　tied　up。　And　then　there's　a　little　flame　beside　him。　That　means…〃
　
　 〃He　liked　to　be　burned？〃
　 〃When　he　was　sober。　In　the　end；　I　stopped　inviting　him　because　he　got　so　drunk　and　so　abusive　he　wasn't　any　fun。〃
　 〃Ah！　So　you　did　make　a　judgment。〃
　 She　considered　this　for　a　moment。　〃Yes。　I　suppose　I　did。〃
　 〃Did　he　spoil　the　secret？　Once　you　didn't　invite　him　anymore。　Did　he　start　telling　everyone　about　what　it　was　like　up　here？〃
　 〃Of　course　not。　What　was　he　going　to　say？　Even　he　had　a　reputation　to　keep。　Besides；　half　of　Hollywood　swam　in　that　pool　at　one　time　or　another。　And　the　other　half　wished　they　could。　Nobody　said　anything　but　everybody　knew。〃
　 〃What。。。exactly。　That　there　were　orgies　here。　That　women　got　fucked　with　snakes？〃
　 〃All　of　that　yes。　But　mostly　that　people　came　back　from　Coldheart　Canyon　spiritually　changed。〃
　 〃You　mean　that？　Spiritually。〃
　 〃Yes。　Spiritually。　Don't　look　so　surprised。　The　flesh　and　the　soul　are　tied　together。〃
　 Todd　looked　confused。
　 〃Louise　Brooks　said　to　me　once：　there's　nothing　they　can　give　that　would　be　worth　my　freedom。　She　parried　with　the　rest　of　us；　but　in　the　end　she　gave　it　all　up；　and　moved　away。　She　said　they　were　trying　to　take　her　soul　by　boring　her　to　death。〃
　 〃So　she　gave　up　making　movies？〃
　 〃Indeed　she　did。　But　Louise　was　a　rare　example。　You　know　what　usually　happens：　you　get　addicted。　And　the　studio　knows　you're　addicted。　You　need　your　hit　of　fame　every　couple　of　years　or　you　start　to　feel　worthless。　Isn't　that　right？　So　as　long　as　they　can　keep　giving　you　a　little　time　in　the　spotlight；　they've　got　you　in　their　pocket。〃
　 Todd　continued　to　flip　through　the　book　as　Katya　spoke；　as　much　because　he　didn't　want　to　meet　her　gaze　as　because　he　was　interested　in　the　pages。　All　that　she　said　was　true；　and　it　hurt　to　hear　it：　especially　when　he　had　done　himself　so　much　harm　because　of　his　appetite　for　the　spotlight。
　 A　sound；　behind　him。　He　looked　up　at　the　mirror　behind　the　bar。　It　wasn't　his　wounded　face　that　caught　his　eye；　however；　it　was　a　motion　of　something；　or　somebody；　passing　by　the　door。
　 〃I　think　there's　somebody　out　there；〃　he　whispered。
　 Katya　looked　unsurprised。　〃Of　course。　They　know　we're　here。〃　She　took　the　book　from　his　hand　and　closed　it　for　him。　〃Let　me　introduce　you　to　them；〃　she　said。
　 〃Wait。〃　He　reached　for　the　photographs　that　Katya　had　also　brought　out　of　the　safe。　They　still　lay　where　she　had　put　them；　on　the　top　of　the　bar。
　 〃You　don't　need　to　look　at　those　now；〃　Katya　said。
　 〃I　just　want　to　take　a　peek。〃
　 He　began　to　flick　through　the　sheaf　of　photographs。　There　were　probably　forty　or　so；　most　in　worse　condition　than　the　book；　the　prints　made　hastily；　and　poorly　fixed；　so　that　large　parts　of　the　image　had　faded　to　speckled　sepia　or　to　black。　But　there　were　still　sizeable　portions　of　many　of　the　photographs　visible；　and　the　scenes　they　depicted　confirmed　every　obscene　or　outlandish　detail　she'd　offered。　They　weren't　simply　images　of　men　and　women　coupling；　but　pictures　of　the　most　extreme　forms　of　sexual　gratification。　In　one；　a　naked　man　was　bound　to　a　metal　chain；　the　cords　that　held　him　biting　deep　into　his　flesh。　A　woman　wearing　just　a　black　brassiere　was　flogging　his　chest　and　his　groin。　Assuming　this　wasn't　a　set…up　（and　something　about　the　quality　of　all　the　photographs　suggested　that　all　of　these　were　the　real　thing）；　then　the　woman　was　doing　her　victim　some　serious　hurt。　There　was　blood　running　down　his　chest　and　stomach　from　blows　she'd　delivered　there；　and　there　appeared　to　be　welts　on　his　thighs　and　his　dick；　which　stood　testament　to　the　pleasure　he　was　taking　in　this。　In　another　picture；　some　way　down　the　pile；　the　same　man　（his　face　seemed　vaguely　familiar　to　Todd；　though　he　couldn't　put　a　name　to　it）　had　been　redeemed　from　his　bondage　and　lay　on　the　paving　stone　beside　the　pool　while　another　woman　（this　second　pletely　naked）　squatted　over　him　and　loosed　a　stream　of　urine　on　his　wounds。　To　judge　by　the　expression　on　the　masochist's　face；　this　hurt　more　than　the　whipping。　His　teeth　were　gritted；　his　body　locked；　as　though　he　were　only　just　holding　back　an　unmanly　scream。
　
　 〃Wait。　I　know　who　that　is。〃　Todd　said；　〃That's…Christ！　It　can't　be。〃
　 〃It　is。〃
　 〃He　was　always　the　Good　Guy。〃
　 〃Well；　sometimes　Good　Guys　like　getting　pissed　on。〃
　 〃And　her？　She　was　always　so　sweet　in　her　movies。　What's　her　name？　Always　the　victim。〃
　
　 〃Well；　that　was　part　of　the　game　you　got　to　play　in　the　Canyon。　Up　here　you　do　the　things　the　studios　wouldn't　let　you　do。　Rub　your　face　in　the　dirt　for　a　while。　And　then　on　Monday　morning　you　could　brush　your　teeth　and　smile　and　pretend　you　were　all…American　again。　That's　all　people　want。　An　illusion。　You　can　do　what　the　hell　you　like　out　of　sight。　Just　don't　spoil　their　dreams。　They　want　to　believe　you're　perfect。　And　it's　hard　to　put　on　a　perfect　face　every　day　without　going　crazy。　Up　here；　nobody　was　perfect；　and　nobody　cared。〃
　 〃Jesus；〃　Todd　said；　ing　across　a　picture　of　scatology。　〃Who's　the　pooper？〃　Katya　turned　the　picture　round　to　get　a　dearer　view　of　the　woman's　face。　〃That　was　Edith　Vine。　At　least　that　was　her　real　name。　I　can't　remember　what　they　called　her。　She　had　a　seven　year　contract　with　RKO；　but　they　never　made　a　star　out　of　her。〃
　 〃Maybe　they　were　afraid　one　of　these　would　leak　out　and　they'd　lose　their　investment。〃
　 〃No；　she　just　kept　getting　pregnant。　She　was　one　of　those　women　who　just　had　to　look　at　a　man　and　bam；　she　was　eating　anchovies　and　ice　cream。　So　she　kept　getting　abortions。　Two；　three　a　year。　And　her　body　went　to　hell。〃
　 〃Where　did　she　end　up？〃
　 〃Oh　she's　here；〃　Katya　said。　〃We　don't　just　take　the　famous　up　here　in　the　Canyon。　We　take　the　failures；　too。〃
　 Without　fully　understanding　what　he'd　just　been　told…perhaps　not　entirely　wanting　to…Todd　moved　on　to　another　picture。　A　man　who'd　played　cowboys　most　of　his　life　was　the　centre　of　attention；　all　laced　up　in　a　girdle　that　made　his　waist　as　narrow　as　any　showgirl's。
　 〃That's　one　for　the　family　album。〃
　 〃He　liked　to　be　called　Martha　when　he　was　dressed　like　that。　It　was　his　mother's　name。　In　fact；　I　think　it　was　his　mother's　corset。〃
　 Todd　laughed；　though　he　wasn't　sure　where　the　laughter　was　ing　from。　Perhaps　it　was　simply　that　the　parade　of　perversions　was　so　excessive　there　was　nothing　to　do；　in　the　end；　but　laugh。
　 〃Christ。　What's　that？〃
　 〃A　jar　of　bees；　and　Claudette's　breast。〃
　 〃She　liked　to　get　stung？〃
　 〃She　would　scream　like　her　lungs　were　going　to　give　out。　But　then　she'd　have　somebody　pick　the　stings　out　with　their　teeth。〃
　 〃Fuck。〃
　 〃And　she'd　be　so　wet　you　could　fill　a　shot…glass　from　what　came　out　of　her。〃
　 It　was　too　much。　He　put　the　photographs　down。　Bees；　piss；　corsets。　And　they　were　only　the　pictures　he　could　make　sense　of。　There　were　plenty　more　that　defied　easy　prehension；　arrangements　of　limbs　and　faces　and　artifacts　which　he　had　no　appetite　to　interpret。
　 Before　he　left　them　where　they　lay　there　was　one　question　remaining　that　he　simply　had　to　ask。
　 〃Are　you　in　any　of　these？〃
　 〃Well　I'm　in　the　book　aren't　I？〃
　 〃So　all　that　stuff　you　were　telling　me　in　the　Gaming　Room；　about　offering　yourself　to　the　winner？　All　that　was　true？〃
　 〃All　that　was　true。〃
　 〃Just　how　far　did　you　go？〃
　 She　turned　the　photographs　over；　putting　their　excesses　out　of　sight。
　 〃As　far　as　you　want；〃　she　said；　smiling。　〃Then　just　a　little　further。〃
　 She　unnerved　him；　and　she　knew　it。　She　took　hold　of　his　hand。　〃e　on；〃　she　said；　〃Let's　go　outside。　We're　missing　the　dusk。〃
　
　
　FOUR
　 They　were　too　late。　It　had　been　twilight　when　they'd　entered　the　Pool　House。　Now　it　was　night。　But　that　wasn't　the　only　change　that　had　taken　place　in　the　time　they'd　lingered　there。　The　air　Todd　breathed　when　he　stepped　outside　again　was　something　more　than　a　little　colder；　a　little　darker；　than　it　had　been。　Though　there　was　no　wind　（at　least　the　trees　weren't　moving）　still　he　felt　movement　around　and　against　him；　a　delicate　touch　on　his　arm；　on　his　shoulder；　something　touching　the　back　of　his　head。　He　looked　at　Katya。　There　was　precious　little　light　out　here；　but　he　could　see　her　face　with　curious　clarity；　almost　as　though　it　were　lit　from　within。　Her　expression　was　one　of　considerable　pleasure。
　 〃Say　hello；　Todd。。。〃　she　told　him。
　 〃Who　to？〃
　 〃Oh　e　on。　Stop　pretending　to　yourself。　You　know　they're　here。〃
　 There　was　something　brushing　his　cheek；　lightly。　He　flicked　it　away；　as　though　it　might　be　a　moth；　though　he　knew　it　wasn't。
　 〃I　don't　understand　what's　going　on；〃　he　said；　his　words　a　kind　of　plea。　He'd　thought　earlier　that　he　could　do　without　answers；　that　having　her　here　was　enough。　Now　he　was　disfited　again；　he　wanted　some　explanations　for　these　mysteries；　which　multiplied　every　time　he　turned　round。　First　Katya　and　her　stories　of　the　Gaming　Room；　then　the　guesthouse　and　the　life…masks　and　the　posters；　then　the　bath；　and　the　Terror。　Now　this：　the　Pool　House　and　its　history　of　debaucheries；　locked　away　for　posterity；　and　as　if　all　that　weren't　enough；　they'd　stepped　out　into　these　moth…wing　touches　against　his　cheek；　his　arm；　his　groin。　He　wanted　to　know　what　it　all　meant；　but　he　was　afraid　of　the　answer。　No；　that　wasn't　it。　He　was　afraid　he　already　knew　the　answer。
　 〃You　don't　need　me　to　tell　you　what's　going　on　here；〃　Katya　said；　echoing　his　thoughts。　〃You　can　feel　them；　can't　you？〃
　 Oh　God；　yes；　he　could　feel　them。　These　weren't　moths　or　mosquitoes　around　him。　They　were　people。　People；　hidden　in　the　air。　〃Say　it。〃
　 〃Ghosts。〃
　 〃Yes。　Of　course。　Ghosts。〃
　 〃Oh；　Jesus。〃
　 〃The　Canyon's　full　of　ghosts。〃
　 〃I　don't　believe　in　ghosts。〃
　 〃You　don't　have　to　believe；〃　she　said；　〃It's　nothing　to　do　with　believing　or　not　believing。　They're　here。　All　around　you。　Just　let　yourself　see　them。　You　know　they're　here。〃
　 Of　course　he　knew。　In　his　gut；　he'd　known　all　along　there　was　some　mystery　like　this　waiting　in　the　wings。　And　what　Katya　said　about　belief　was　right。　Whether　he　believed　in　the　Life　Everlasting　or　not　was　a　grand　irrelevance。　The　dead　were　here。　He　could　feel　their　fingers；　their　breaths；　their　stares。　And　now；　as　they　pressed　closer；　he　began　to　see　them。　He　had　to　work　up　some　spit　before　he　could　speak　again。
　 〃Why　can　I　see　you　and　I'm　only　now　seeing　them？〃　he　asked。　〃Because　I'm　not　dead；　Todd。　And　if　you're　very　good；　in　a　little　while　I'll　show　you　why。　You're　going　to　like　it　too。　My　special　room…〃
　 At　the　mention　of　the　room；　the　air；　or　rather　those　who　moved　invisibly　through　it；　became　agitated。　The　number　of　touches　tha