bill_the_galactic_hero_v1.1-第18章

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tinuous　one…to…one　transformation。　So　we　made　the　containers　out　of　memory　plastic　that　return　to　their　original　shape　once　they're　dry…there；　you　see。〃
　　　The　container　had　finished　its　struggles　and　now　lay　quietly　on　the　floor；　a　flat　and　finely　grooved　disk　with　a　hole　in　the　center。　Inspector　Jeyes　picked　it　up　and　peeled　the　Alco…Jolt　label　off；　and　Bill　could　now　read　the　other　label　that　had　been　concealed；　underneath。　LOVE　IN　ORBIT；　BOING！　BOING！　BOING！　SUNG　BY　THE　COLEOPTERAE。　　　〃Ingenious；　isn't　it？　The　container　has　transformed　itself　into　a　phonograph　record　of　one　of　the　more　obnoxious　top　tunes；　an　object　that　no　Alco…Jolt　addict　could　possibly　discard。　It　is　taken　away　and　cherished　and　not　dropped　down　a　chute　to　make　another　problem　for　us。〃　　　Inspector　Jeyes　took　both　of　Bill's　hands　in　his；　and　when　he　looked　him　directly　in　the　eyes　his　own　were　more　than　a　little　damp。　〃Say　you'll　do　it；　Bill…go　into　research。　We　have　such　a　shortage　of　skilled；　trained　men；　men　who　understand　our　problems。　Maybe　you　didn't　finish　your　fertilizeroperating
course；　but　you　can　help；　a　fresh　mind　with　fresh　ideas。　A　new　broom　to　help　sweep　things　clean；　hey？〃
　　〃I'll　do　it；〃　Bill　said　with　determination。　〃Refuse　research　is　the　sort　of　work　a　man　can　get　his　teeth　into。〃
　　〃It's　yours。　Room；　board；　and　uniform；　plus　a　handsome　salary　and　all　the　refuse　and　rubbish　you　want。　You'll　never　regret　this　。　。　。〃　A　warbling　siren　interrupted　him；　and　an　instant　later　a　sweating；　excited　man　ran　into　the　room。　　　〃Inspector；　the　rocket　has　really　gone　up　this　time。　Operation　Flying　Saucer　has　failed！　There　is　a　team　just　down　from　astronomy；　and　they　are　fighting　with　our　research　team；　just　rolling　over　and　over　on　the　floor　like　animals　。　。　。〃
　　Inspector　Jeyes　was　out　of　the　door　before　the　messenger　finished；　and　Bill　ran　after　him；　dropping　down　a　pig…chute　just　on　his　heels。　They　had　to　take　a　chairway；　but　it　was　too　slow　for　the　inspector；　and　he　bounded　along　like　a　rabbit　from　chair　back　to　chair　back；　with　Bill　close　behind。　Then　they　burst　into　a　laboratory　filled　with　plex　electronic　equipment　and　writhing；　fighting　men　rolling　and　kicking　in　a　hopeless　tangle。
　　〃Stop　it　at　once；　stop　it！〃　the　inspector　screamed；　but　no　one　listened。　　　〃Maybe　I　can　help；〃　Bill　said；　〃we　sort　of　learned　about　this　kind　of　thing　in　the　troopers。　Which　ones　are　our　G…men？〃
　　〃The　brown　tunics…〃
　　　〃Say　no　more！〃　Bill；　humming　cheerfully；　waded　into　the　grunting　mob　and　with　a　rabbit　punch　here；　a　kidney　crunch　there；　and　maybe　just　a　few　of　the　karate　blows　that　destroy　the　larynx　he　restored　order　to　the　room。　None　of　the　writhing　intellectuals　were　physical　types；　and　he　went　through　them　like　a　dose　of　salts；　then　began　to　extricate　his　new…found　rades　from　the　mess。　
　　〃What　is　it；　Basurero；　what　has　happened？〃　Inspector　Jeyes　asked。　
　　〃Them；　sir；　they　barge　in；　shouting；　telling　us　to　call　off　Operation　Flying　Saucer　just　when　we　have　upped　our　disposal　record；　we　found　that　we　can　almost　double　the　input　rate。。。〃
　　〃What　is　Operation　Flying　Saucer？〃　Bill　asked；　greatly　confused　as　to　what　was　going　on。　None　of　the　astronomers　were　awake　yet；　though　one　was　moaning；　so　the　inspector　took　time　to　explain；　pointing　to　a　gigantic　apparatus　that
filled　one　end　of　the　room。
　　　〃It　may　be　the　answer　to　our　problems；〃　he　said。　〃It's　all　those　damn　dispos…a…steins　and　trays　from　prepared　dinners　and　the　rest。　I　don't　dare　tell　you　how　many　cubic　feet　of　them　we　have　piled　up！　I　might　better　say　cubic　miles。　But　Basurero　here　happened　to　be　glancing　through　a　magazine　one　day　and　found　an　article　on　a　matter　transmitter；　and　we　put　through　an　appropriation　and　bought　the　biggest　model　they　had。　We　hooked　it　up　to　a　belt　and　loaders〃…he　opened　a　panel　in　the　side　of　the　machine；　and　Bill　saw　a　torrent　of　used　plastic　utensils　tearing　by　at　a　great　clip…〃and　fed　all　the　damned　crockery　into　the　input　end　of　the　matter　transmitter；　and　it　has　worked　like　a　dream　ever　since。〃
　　Bill　was　still　baffled。　〃But…where　do　they　go？　Where　is　the　output　end　of　the　transmitter？〃
　　〃An　intelligent　question；　that　was　our　big　problem。　At　first　we　just　lifted　them　into　space　but　Astronomy　said　too　many　were　ing　back　as　meteorites　and　ruining　their　stellar　observation。　We　upped　the　power　and　put　them　further　out　into　orbit；　but　Navigation　said　we　were　mitting　a　nuisance　in　space；　creating　a　navigation　hazard；　and　we　had　to　look　further。　Basurero　finally　got　the　co…ordinates　of　the　nearest　star　from　Astronomy；　and　since　then　we　have　just　been　dumping　them　into　the　star　and　no　problems　and　everyone　is　satisfied。　
　〃You　fool；〃　one　of　the　astronomers　said　through　puffed　lips　as　he　staggered　to　his　feet；　〃your　damned　flying　garbage　has　started　a　nova　in　that　starl　We　couldn't　figure　out　what　had　triggered　it　until　we　found　your　request　for　information　in　the　files　and　tracked　down　your　harebrained　operation　here…〃
　　　〃Watch　your　language　or　it's　back　to　sleep　for　you；　bowb　。　。　。〃　Bill　growled。　The　astronomer　recoiled　and　paled；　then　continued　in　a　milder　tone。
　　〃Look；　you　must　understand　what　has　happened。　You　just　can't　feed　all　those　carbon　and　hydrogen　atoms　into　a　sun　and　get　away　with　it。　The　thing　has　gone　nova；　and　I　hear　that　they　didn't　manage　to　evacuate　some　bases　on　the　inner
planets　pletely　。　。　。〃　　　〃Refuse　removal　is　not　without　its　occupational　hazards。　At　least　they　died　in　the　service　of　mankind。〃　
　　〃Well；　yes；　that's　easy　for　you　to　say。　What's　done　is　done。　But　you　have　to　stop　your　Flying　Saucer　operationat　once！〃　　
　〃Why？〃　Inspector　Jeyes　asked。　〃I'll　admit　this　little　matter　of　a　nova　was　unexpected；　but　it's　over　now　and　there　is　not　much　we　can　do　about　it。　And　you　heard　Basurero　say　that　he　has　doubled　the　output　rate　here；　we'll　be　into　our　backlog　soon　。　。　。〃
　　〃Why　do　you　think　your　rate　doubled？〃　the　astronomer　snarled。　〃You've　got　that　star　so　unstable　that　it　is　consuming　everything　and　is　ready　to　turn　into　a　supernova　that　will　not　only　wipe　out　all　the　planets　there　but　may　reach　as　far　as　Helior　and…this　sun。　Stop　your　infernal　machine　at　once！〃　
　　The　inspector　sighed；　then　waved　his　hand　in　a　tired　yet　final　fashion。　〃Turn　it　off；　Basurero　。　。　。　I　should　have　known　it　was　too　good　to　last　。　。　。　〃
　　〃But；　sir；〃　the　big　engineer　was　wringing　his　hands　in　despair。　〃We'll　be　back　where　we　started；　it'll　begin　to　pile　up　again…〃
　　　〃Do　as　you　are　ordered！〃
　　With　a　resigned　sigh　Basurero　dragged　over　to　the　control　board　and　threw　a　master　switch。　The　clanging　and　rattling　of　the　conveyors　died　away；　and　whining　generators　moaned　down　into　silence。　All　about　the　room　the　sanitation　men　stood　in　huddled；　depressed　groups　while　the　astronomers　crawled　back　to　consciousness　and　helped　one　another　from　the　room。　As　the　last　one　left　he　turned　and；　baring　his　teeth；　spat　out　the　words　〃Garbage　men！〃　A　hurled　wrench　clanged　against　the　closed　door　and　defeat　was　plete。　
　　〃Well；　you　can't　win　them　all；〃　Inspector　Jeyes　said　energetically；　though　his　words　had　a…　hollow　ring。　〃Anyway；　I've　brought　you　some　fresh　blood；　Basurero。　This　is　Bill；　a　young　fellow　with　bright　ideas　for　your　research　staff。〃
　　〃A　pleasure；〃　Basurero　said；　and　swamped　Bill's　hands　in　one　of　his　large　paws。　He　was　a　big　man；　wide　and　fat　and　tall　with　olive　skin　and　jet　black　hair　that　he　wore　almost　…to　his　shoulders。　〃C'mon；　we're　going　to　knock　off　for　chow　now；　you　e　with　me；　and　I'll　sorta　put　you　in　the　picture　here　and　you　tell　me　about　yourself。〃
　　They　walked　the　pristine　halls　of　the　D　of　S　while　Bill　filled　his　new　boss　in　on　his　background。　Basurero　was　so　interested　that　he　took　a　wrong　turning　and　opened　a　door　without　looking。　A　torrent　of　plastic　trays　and　beakers　rushed　out　and　reached　up　to　his　knees　before　he　and　Bill　could　force　it　shut　again。
　　〃Do　you　see？〃　he　asked　with　barely　restrained　rage。　〃We're　swamped。　All　the　available　storage　space　used　and　still　the　stuff　piles　up。　I　swear　to　Krishna　I　don't　know　what's　going　to　happen；　we　just　don't　have　any　more　place　to　put　it。〃　　　He　pulled　a　silver　whistle　from　his　pocket　and　blew　fiercely　on　it。　It　made　no　sound　at　all。　Bill　slid　over　a　bit；　looking　at　him　suspiciously；　and　Basurero　scowled　in　return。
　　〃Don't　look　so　damned　frightened…I　haven't　stripped　my　gears。　This　is　a　Supersonic　Robot　Whistle；　too　high…pitched　for　the　human　ear；　though　the　robots　can　hear　it　well　enoughsee？〃　With　a　humming　of　wheels　a　rubbish　robot…a　rubbot…rolled　up　and　with　quick　motions　of　its　pick…up　arms　began　loading　the　plastic　rubbish　into　its　container。
　　〃That's　a　great　idea；　the　whistle　I　mean；〃　Bill　said。　〃Call　a　robot　just　like　that　whenever　you　want　one。　Do　you　think　I　could　get　one；　now　that　I'm　a　G…man　like　you　and　all　the　rest？〃
　　〃They're　kind　of　special；〃　Basurero　told　him；　pushing　through　the　correct　door　into　the　canteen。　〃Hard　to　get；　if　you　know　what　I　mean。〃　　　
〃No　I　don't　know　what　you　mean。　Do　I　get　one　or　don't　I？〃
　　Basurero　ignored　him；　peering　closely　at　the　menu；　then　dialing　a　number。　The　quick…frozen　redi…meal　slid　out；　and　he　pushed　it　into　the　radar　heater。　　
　〃Well？〃　Bill　said。
　　〃If　you　must　know；〃　Basurero　said；　a　little　embarrassed；　〃we　get　them　out　of　breakfast…cereal　boxes。　They're　really　doggie　whistles　for　the　kiddies。　I'll　show　you　where　the　box　dump　is；　and　you　can　look　for　one　for　yourself。〃
　　〃I'll　do　that；　I　want　to　call　robots　too。〃
　　　They　took　their　heated　meals　to　one　of　the　tables；　and　between　forkfuls　Basurero　scowled　at　the　plastic　tray　he　was　eating　out　of；　then　stabbed　it　spitefully。　〃See　that；〃　he　said。　〃We　contribute　to　our　own　downfall。　Wait　until　you　see　how　these　mount　up　now　with　the　matter　transmitter　turned　off。〃　
　　〃Have　you　tried　dumping　them　in　the　ocean？〃　　
　〃Project　Big　Splash　is　working　on　that。　I　can't　tell　you　much；　since　the　whole　thing　is　classified。　You　gotta　realize　that　the　oceans　　on　this　damned　planet　are　covered　over　like　everything　else；　and　they're　pretty　grim　by　now；　I　tell　you。　We　dumped　into　them　as　long　as　we　could；　until　we　raised　the　water　level　so　high　that　waves　came　out　of　the　inspection　hatches　at　high　tide。　We're　still　dumping；　but　at　a　much　reduced　rate。〃　
　　〃How　could　you　possibly？〃　Bill　gaped。
　　Basurero　looked　around　carefully；　then　leaned　across　the　table；　laid　his　index　finger　beside　his　nose；　winked；　smiled；　and　said　shhhh　in　a　hushed　whisper。
　　〃Is　it　a　secret？〃　Bill　asked。　　
　〃You　guessed　it。　Meteorology　would　be　on　us　in　a　second　if　they　found　out。　What　we　do　is　evaporate　and　collect　the　sea　water　and　dump　the　salt　back　into　the　ocean。　Then　we　have　secretly　converted　certain　waste　pipes　to　run　the　other　way！　As　soon　as　we　hear　it　is　raining　topside　we　pump　our　water　up　and　let　it　spill　out　with　the　rain。　We　got　Meteorology　going　half　nuts。　Every　year　since　we　started　Project　Big　Splash　the　annual　rainfall　in　the　temperate　zones　has　increased　by　three　inches；　and　snowfall　is　so　heavy　at　the　poles　that　some　of　the　top　levels　are　collapsing　under　the　weight。　But　Roll　on　the　Refusel　we　keep　dumping　all　the　time！　You　won't　say　anything　about　this；　classified　you　know。〃　
　　〃Not　a　word。　It　sure　is　a　great　idea。〃
　　Smiling　pridefully；　Basurero　cleaned　his　tray　and　reached　over　and　pushed　it　into　a　dispos