pgw.uneasymoney-第31章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


speck　of　doubt　would　begin　to　eat　its　way　farther　and　farther　into　me。　It　would　be　the　same　with　you。　We　should　react　on　each　other。　We　should　be　watching　each　other；　testing　each　other；　trying　each　other　out　all　the　time。　It　would　be　horrible；　horrible！'
　He　started　to　speak；　then；　borne　down　by　the　hopelessness　of　it；　stopped。　Elizabeth　stood　up。　They　did　not　look　at　each　other。　He　strapped　the　suitcase　and　picked　it　up。　The　end　of　all　things　was　at　hand。
　'Better　to　end　it　all　cleanly；　Bill；'　she　said；　in　a　low　voice。　'It　will　hurt　less。'
　He　did　not　speak。
　'I'll　e　down　to　the　gate　with　you。'
　They　walked　in　silence　down　the　drive。　The　air　was　heavy　with　contentment。　He　hummed　a　tune。
　'Good…bye；　Bill；　dear。'
　He　took　her　hand　dully。
　'Good…bye；'　he　said。
　Elizabeth　stood　at　the　gate；　watching。　He　swung　down　the　road　with　long　strides。　At　the　bend　he　turned　and　for　a　moment　stood　there；　as　if　waiting　for　her　to　make　some　sign。　Then　he　fell　into　his　stride　again　and　was　gone。　Elizabeth　leaned　on　the　gate。　Her　face　was　twisted；　and　she　clutched　the　warm　wood　as　if　it　gave　her　strength。
　The　grounds　were　very　empty。　The　spirit　of　loneliness　brooded　on　them。　Elizabeth　walked　slowly　back　to　the　house。　Nutty　was　ing　towards　her　from　the　orchard。
　'Halloa！'　said　Nutty。　　He　was　cheerful　and　debonair。　His　little　eyes　were　alight　with　contentment。　He　hummed　a　tune。
　'Where's　Dawlish？'　he　said。
　'He　has　gone。'
　Nutty's　tune　failed　in　the　middle　of　a　bar。　Something　in　his　sister's　voice　startled　him。　The　glow　of　contentment　gave　way　to　a　look　of　alarm。
　'Gone？　How　do　you　meangone？　You　don't　meangone？'
　'Yes。'
　'Gone　away？'
　'Gone　away。'
　They　had　reached　the　house　before　he　spoke　again。
　'You　don't　meangone　away？'
　'Yes。'
　'Do　you　meangone　away？'
　'Yes。'
　'You　aren't　going　to　marry　him？'
　'No。'
　The　world　stood　still。　The　noise　of　the　crickets　and　all　the　little　sounds　of　summer　smote　on　Nutty's　ear　in　one　discordant　shriek。
　'Oh；　gosh！'　he　exclaimed；　faintly；　and　collapsed　on　the　front　steps　like　a　jelly…fish。
　
　23
　The　spectacle　of　Nutty　in　his　anguish　did　not　touch　Elizabeth。　Normally　a　kind…hearted　girl；　she　was　not　in　the　least　sorry　for　him。　She　had　even　taken　a　bitter　pleasure　and　found　a　momentary　relief　in　loosing　the　thunderbolt　which　had　smitten　him　down。　Even　if　it　has　to　manufacture　it；　misery　loves　pany。　She　watched　Nutty　with　a　cold　and　uninterested　eye　as　he　opened　his　mouth　feebly；　shut　it　again　and　reopened　it；　and　then　when　it　became　apparent　that　these　manoeuvres　were　about　to　result　in　speech；　she　left　him　and　walked　quickly　down　the　drive　again。　She　had　the　feeling　that　if　Nutty　were　to　begin　to　ask　her　questionsand　he　had　the　aspect　of　one　who　is　about　to　ask　a　thousandshe　would　break　down。　She　wanted　solitude　and　movement；　so　she　left　Nutty　sitting　and　started　for　the　gate。　Presently　she　would　go　and　do　things　among　the　beehives；　and　after　that；　if　that　brought　no　solace；　she　would　go　in　and　turn　the　house　upside　down　and　get　dusty　and　tired。　Anything　to　occupy　herself。
　Reaction　had　set　in。　She　had　known　it　would　e；　and　had　made　ready　to　fight　against　it；　but　she　had　underestimated　the　strength　of　the　enemy。　It　seemed　to　her；　in　those　first　minutes；　that　she　had　done　a　mad　thing；　that　all　those　arguments　which　she　had　used　were　far…fetched　and　ridiculous。　It　was　useless　to　tell　herself　that　she　had　thought　the　whole　thing　out　clearly　and　had　taken　the　only　course　that　could　have　been　taken。　With　Bill's　departure　the　power　to　face　the　situation　steadily　had　left　her。　All　she　could　think　of　was　that　she　loved　him　and　that　she　had　sent　him　away。
　Why　had　he　listened　to　her？　Why　hadn't　he　taken　her　in　his　arms　and　told　her　not　to　be　a　little　fool？　Why　did　men　ever　listen　to　women？　If　he　had　really　loved　her；　would　he　have　gone　away？　She　tormented　herself　with　this　last　question　for　a　while。　She　was　still　tormenting　herself　with　it　when　a　melancholy　voice　broke　in　on　her　meditations。
　'I　can't　believe　it；'　said　the　voice。　She　turned；　to　perceive　Nutty　drooping　beside　her。　'I　simply　can't　believe　it！'
　Elizabeth　clenched　her　teeth。　She　was　not　in　the　mood　for　Nutty。
　'It　will　gradually　sink　in；'　she　said；　unsympathetically。
　'Did　you　really　send　him　away？'
　'I　did。'
　'But　what　on　earth　for？'
　'Because　it　was　the　only　thing　to　do。'
　A　light　shone　on　Nutty's　darkness。
　'Oh；　I　say；　did　he　hear　what　I　said　last　night？'
　'He　did　hear　what　you　said　last　night。'
　Nutty's　mouth　opened　slowly。
　'Oh！'
　Elizabeth　said　nothing。
　'But　you　could　have　explained　that。'
　'How？'
　'Oh；　I　don't　knowsomehow　or　other。'　He　appeared　to　think。　'But　you　said　it　was　you　who　sent　him　away。'
　'I　did。'
　'Well；　this　beats　me！'
　Elizabeth's　strained　patience　reached　the　limit。
　'Nutty；　please！'　she　said。　'Don't　let's　talk　about　it。　It's　all　over　now。'
　'Yes；　but'
　'Nutty；　don't！　I　can't　stand　it。　I'm　raw　all　over。　I'm　hating　myself。　Please　don't　make　it　worse。'
　Nutty　looked　at　her　face；　and　decided　not　to　make　it　worse。　But　his　anguish　demanded　some　outlet。　He　found　it　in　soliloquy。
　'Just　like　this　for　the　rest　of　our　lives！'　he　murmured；　taking　in　the　farm…grounds　and　all　that　in　them　stood　with　one　glassy　stare　of　misery。　'Nothing　but　ghastly　bees　and　sweeping　floors　and　fetching　water　till　we　die　of　old　age！　That　is；　if　those　blighters　don't　put　me　in　jail　for　getting　that　money　out　of　them。　How　was　I　to　know　that　it　was　obtaining　money　under　false　pretences？　It　simply　seemed　to　me　a　darned　good　way　of　collecting　a　few　dollars。　I　don't　see　how　I'm　ever　going　to　pay　them　back；　so　I　suppose　it's　prison　for　me　all　right。'
　Elizabeth　had　been　trying　not　to　listen　to　him；　but　without　success。
　'I'll　look　after　that；　Nutty。　I　have　a　little　money　saved　up；　enough　to　pay　off　what　you　owe。　I　was　saving　it　for　something　else；　but　never　mind。'
　'Awfully　good　of　you；'　said　Nutty；　but　his　voice　sounded　almost　disappointed。　He　was　in　the　frame　of　mind　which　resents　alleviation　of　its　gloom。　He　would　have　preferred　at　that　moment　to　be　allowed　to　round　off　the　picture　of　the　future　which　he　was　constructing　in　his　mind　with　a　reel　or　two　showing　himself　brooding　in　a　cell。　After　all；　what　difference　did　it　make　to　a　man　of　spacious　tastes　whether　he　languished　for　the　rest　of　his　life　in　a　jail　or　on　a　farm　in　the　country？　Jail；　indeed；　was　almost　preferable。　You　knew　where　you　were　when　you　were　in　prison。　They　didn't　spring　things　on　you。　Whereas　life　on　a　farm　was　nothing　but　one　long　succession　of　things　sprung　on　you。　Now　that　Lord　Dawlish　had　gone；　he　supposed　that　Elizabeth　would　make　him　help　her　with　the　bees　again。　At　this　thought　he　groaned　aloud。　When　he　contemplated　a　lifetime　at　Flack's；　a　lifetime　of　bee…dodging　and　carpet…beating　and　water…lugging；　and　reflected　that；　but　for　a　few　innocent　wordswords　spoken；　mark　you；　in　a　pure　spirit　of　kindliness　and　brotherly　love　with　the　object　of　putting　a　bit　of　optimistic　pep　into　sister！he　might　have　been　in　a　position　to　touch　a　millionaire　brother…in…law　for　the　needful　whenever　he　felt　disposed；　the　iron　entered　into　Nutty's　soul。　A　rotten；　rotten　world！
　Nutty　had　the　sort　of　mind　that　moves　in　circles。　After　contemplating　for　a　time　the　rottenness　of　the　world；　he　came　back　to　the　point　from　which　he　had　started。
　'I　can't　understand　it；'　he　said。　'I　can't　believe　it。'
　He　kicked　a　small　pebble　that　lay　convenient　to　his　foot。
　'You　say　you　sent　him　away。　If　he　had　legged　it　on　his　own　account；　because　of　what　he　heard　me　say；　I　could　understand　that。　But　why　should　you'
　It　became　evident　to　Elizabeth　that；　until　some　explanation　of　this　point　was　offered　to　him；　Nutty　would　drift　about　in　her　vicinity；　moaning　and　shuffling　his　feet　indefinitely。
　'I　sent　him　away　because　I　loved　him；'　she　said；　'and　because；　after　what　had　happened；　he　could　never　be　certain　that　I　loved　him。　Can　you　understand　that？'
　'No；'　said　Nutty；　frankly；　'I'm　darned　if　I　can！　It　sounds　loony　to　me。'
　'You　can't　see　that　it　wouldn't　have　been　fair　to　him　to　marry　him？'
　'No。'
　The　doubts　which　she　was　trying　to　crush　increased　the　violence　of　their　attack。　It　was　not　that　she　respected　Nutty's　judgement　in　itself。　It　was　that　his　view　of　what　she　had　done　chimed　in　so　neatly　with　her　own。　She　longed　for　someone　to　tell　her　that　she　had　done　right：　someone　who　would　bring　back　that　feeling　of　certainty　which　she　had　had　during　her　talk　with　Bill。　And　in　these　circumstances　Nutty's　attitude　had　more　weight　than　on　its　merits　it　deserved。　She　wished　she　could　cry。　She　had　a　feeling　that　if　she　once　did　that　the　right　outlook　would　e　back　to　her。
　Nutty；　meanwhile；　had　found　another　pebble　and　was　kicking　it　sombrely。　He　was　beginning　to　perceive　something　of　the　intricate　and　unfathomable　workings　of　the　feminine　mind。　He　had　always　looked　on　Elizabeth　as　an　ordinary　good　fellow；　a　girl　whose　mind　worked　in　a　more　or　less　understandable　way。　She　was　not　one　of　those　hysterical　women　you　read　about　in　the　works　of　the　novelists；　she　was　just　a　regular　girl。　And　yet　now；　at　the　one　moment　of　her　life　when　everything　depended　on　her　acting　sensibly；　she　had　behaved　in　a　way　that　made　his　head　swim　when　he　thought　of　it。　What　it　amounted　to　was　that　you　simply　couldn't　understand　women。
　Into　this　tangle　of　silent　sorrow　came　a　hooting　automobile。　It　drew　up　at　the　gate　and　a　man　jumped　out。
　
　24
　The　man　who　had　alighted　from　the　automobile　was　young　and　cheerful。　He　wore　a　flannel　suit　of　a　gay　blue　and　a　straw　hat　with　a　coloured　ribbon；　and　he　looked　upon　a　world　which；　his　manner　seemed　to　indicate；　had　been　constructed　according　to　his　own　specifications　through　a　single　eyeglass。　When　he　spoke　it　became　plain　that　his　nationality　was　English。
　Nutty　regarded　his　beaming　countenance　with　a　lowering　hostility。　The　indecency　of　anyone　being　cheerful　at　such　a　time　struck　him　forcibly。　He　would　have　liked　mankind　to　have　preserved　till　further　notice　a　hushed　gloom。　He　glared　at　the　young　man。
　Elizabeth；　such　was　her　absorption　in　her　thoughts；　was　not　even　aware　of　his　presence　till　he　spoke　to　her。
　'I　beg　your　pardon；　is　this　Flack's？'
　She　looked　up　and　met　that　sunny　eyeglass。
　'This　is　Flack's；'　she　said。
　'Thank　you；'　said　the　young　man。
　The　automobile；　a　stout；　silent　man　at　the　helm；　throbbed　in　the　nervous　way　automobiles　have　when　standing　still；　suggesting　somehow　that　it　were　best　to　talk　quick；　as　they　can　give　you　only　a　few　minutes　before　dashing　on　to　keep　some　other　appointment。　Either　this　or　a　natural　volatility　lent　a　breezy　rapidity　to　the　visitor's　speech。　He　looked　at　Elizabeth　across　the　gate；　which　it　had　not　occurred　to　her　to　open；　as　if　she　were　just　what　he　had　expected　her　to　be　and　a　delight　to　his　eyes；　and　burst　into　speech。
　'My　name's　NicholsJ。　Nichols。　I　expect　you　remember　getting　a　letter　from　me　a　week　or　two　ago？'
　The　name　struck　Elizabeth　as　familiar。　But　he　had　gone　on　to　identify　himself　before　she　could　place　it　in　her　mind。
　'Lawyer；　don't　you　know。　Wrote　you　a　letter　telling　you　that　your　Uncle　Ira　Nutbe　had　left　all　his　money　to　Lord　Dawlish。'
　'Oh；　yes；'　said　Elizabeth；　and　was　about　to　invite　him　to　pass　the　barrier；　wh