sk.thegunslinger-第6章

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〃She　was　mine！〃　He　wept。　〃She　was　mine　first！　Mine！〃
Allie　looked　at　him　and　got　out　of　bed。　She　put　on　a　wrapper；　and　the　gunslinger　felt　a　moment　of　empathy　for　a　man　who　must　be　seeing　himself　ing　out　on　the　far　end　of　what　he　once　had。　He　was　just　a　little　man；　and　gelded。
〃It　was　for　you；〃　Sheb　sobbed。　〃It　was　only　for　you；　Allie。　It　was　you　first　and　it　was　all　for　you。　I　　ah；oh　God；　dear　God　　〃The　words　dissolved　into　a　paroxysm　of　unintelligibilities；　finally　to　tears。　He　rocked　back　and　forth；　holding　his　broken　wrists　to　his　belly。
〃Shhh。　Shhh。　Let　me　see。〃　She　knelt　beside　him。　〃Broken。　Sheb；　you　ass。　Didn't　you　know　you　were　never　strong？〃　She　helped　him　to　his　feet。　He　tried　to　hold　his　hands　to　his　face；　but　they　would　not　obey；　and　he　wept　nakedly。；　〃e　on　over　to　the　table　and　let　me　see　what　I　can　do。〃
She　led　him　to　the　table　and　set　his　wrists　with　slats　of　kindling　from　the　fire　box。　He　wept　weakly　and　without　volition；　and　left　without　looking　back。
She　came　back　to　the　bed。　〃Where　were　we？〃
〃No；〃　he　said。
She　said　patiently；　〃You　knew　about　that。　There's　nothing　to　be　done。　What　else　is　there？〃　She　touched　his　shoulder。　〃Except　I'm　glad　that　you　are　so　strong。〃
〃Not　now；〃　he　said　thickly。
〃I　can　make　you　strong　〃
〃No；〃　he　said。　〃You　can't　do　that。〃
　
　
XII
　
　
The　next　night　the　bar　was　closed。　It　was　whatever　passed　for　the　Sabbath　in　Tull。　The　gunslinger　went　to　the　tiny；　leaning　church　by　the　graveyard　while　Allie　washed　tables　with　strong　disinfectant　and　rinsed　kerosene　lamp　chimnies　in　soapy　water。
An　odd　purple　dusk　had　fallen；　and　the　church；　lit　from　the　inside；　looked　almost　like　a　blast　furnace　from　the　road。
〃I　don't　go；〃　Allie　had　said　shortly。　〃The　woman　who　preaches　has　poison　religion。　Let　the　respectable　ones　go。
He　stood　in　the　vestibule；　hidden　in　a　shadow；　looking　in。　The　pews　were　gone　and　the　congregation　stood　（he　saw　Kennerly　and　his　brood；　Castner；　owner　of　the　town's　scrawny　dry…goods　emporium　and　his　slat…sided　wife；　a　few　barflies；　a　few　〃town〃　women　he　had　never　seen　before；　and；　surprisingly；　Sheb）。　They　were　singing　a　hymn　raggedly；　a　cappella。　He　looked　curiously　at　the　mountainous　woman　at　the　pulpit。　Allie　had　said：　〃She　lives　alone；　hardly　ever　sees　anybody。　Only　es　out　on　Sunday　to　serve　up　the　hellfire。　Her　name　is　Sylvia　Pittston。　She's　crazy；　but　she's　got　the　hoodoo　on　them。　They　like　it　that　way。　It　suits　them。〃
No　description　could　take　the　measure　of　the　woman。
Breasts　like　earthworks。　A　huge　pillar　of　a　neck　overtopped　by　a　pasty　white　moon　of　a　face；　in　which　blinked　eyes　so　large　and　so　dark　that　they　seemed　to　be　bottomless　tarns。　Her　hair　was　a　beautiful　rich　brown　and　it　was　piled　atop　her　head　in　a　haphazard；　lunatic　sprawl；　held　by　a　hairpin　big　enough　to　be　a　meat　skewer。　She　wore　a　dress　that　seemed　to　be　made　of　burlap。　The　arms　that　held　the　hymnal　were　slabs。　Her　skin　was　creamy；　unmarked；　lovely。　He　thought　that　she　must　top　three　hundred　pounds。　He　felt　a　sudden　red　lust　for　her　that　made　him　feel　shaky；　and　he　turned　his　head　and　looked　away。
〃Shall　we　gather　at　the　river；
The　beautiful；　the　beautiful；
The　riiiiver；
Shall　we　gather　at　the　river；
That　flows　by　the　Kingdom　of　God。〃
The　last　note　of　the　last　chorus　faded　off；　and　there　was　a　moment　of　shuffling　and　coughing。
She　waited。　When　they　were　settled；　she　spread　her　hands　over　them；　as　if　in　benediction。　It　was　an　evocative　gesture。
〃My　dear　little　brothers　and　sisters　in　Christ。〃
It　was　a　haunting　line。　For　a　moment　the　gunslinger　felt　mixed　feelings　of　nostalgia　and　fear；　stitched　in　with　an　eerie　feeling　of　deja　vu　　he　thought：　I　dreamed　this。　When？　He　shook　it　off。　The　audience　　perhaps　twenty…five　all　told　　had　bee　dead　silent。
〃The　subject　of　our　meditation　tonight　is　The　Interloper。〃　Her　voice　was　sweet；　melodious；　the　speaking　voice　of　a　well…trained　soprano。
〃A　little　rustle　ran　through　the　audience。
〃I　feel；〃　Sylvia　Pittston　said　reflectively；　〃I　feel　that　I　know　everyone　in　The　Book　personally。　In　the　last　five　years　I　have　worn　out　five　Bibles；　and　uncountable　numbers　before　that。　I　love　the　story；　and　I　love　the　players　in　that　story。　I　have　walked　arm　in　arm　in　the　lion's　den　with
Daniel。　I　stood　with　David　when　he　was　tempted　by　Bathsheba　as　she　bathed　at　the　pool。　I　have　been　in　the　fiery　furnace　with　Shadrach；　Meshach；　and　Abednego。　I　slew　two　thousand　with　Samson　and　was　blinded　with　St。　Paul　on　the　road　to　Damascus。　I　wept　with　Mary　at　Golgotha。〃
A　soft；　shurring　sigh　in　the　audience。
〃I　have　known　and　loved　them。　There　is　only　one　one　　〃she　held　up　a　finger　　〃only　one　player　in　the　greatest　of　all　dramas　that　I　do　not　know。　Only　one　who　stands　outside　with　his　face　in　the　shadow。　Only　one　that　makes　my　body　tremble　and　my　spirit　quail。　I　fear　him。　I　don't　know　his　mind　and　I　fear　him。　I　fear　The　Interloper。〃
Another　sigh。　One　of　the　women　had　put　a　hand　over　her　mouth　as　if　to　stop　a　sound　and　was　rocking；　rocking。
〃The　Interloper　who　came　to　Eve　as　a　snake　on　its　belly；　grinning　and　writhing。　The　Interloper　who　walked　among　the　Children　of　Israel　while　Moses　was　up　on　the　Mount；　who　whispered　to　them　to　make　a　golden　idol；　a　golden　calf；　and　to　worship　it　with　foulness　and　fornication。〃
Moans；　nods。
〃The　Interloper！　He　stood　on　the　balcony　with　Jezebel　and　watched　as　King　Ahaz　fell　screaming　to　his　death；　and　he　and　she　grinned　as　the　dogs　gathered　and　lapped　up　his　life's　blood。　Oh；　my　little　brothers　and　sisters；　watch　thou　for　The　Interloper。〃
〃Yes；　O　Jesus　　〃The　man　the　gunslinger　had　first　noticed　ing　into　town；　the　one　with　the　straw　hat。
〃He's　always　been　there；　my　brothers　and　sisters。　But　I　don't　know　his　mind。　And　you　don't　know　his　mind。　Who　could　understand　the　awful　darkness　that　swirls　there；　the　pride　like　pylons；　the　titanic　blasphemy；　the　unholy　glee？　And　the　madness！　The　cyclopean；　gibbering　madness　that　walks　and　crawls　and　wriggles　through　men's　most　awful　wants　and　desires？〃
〃O　Jesus　Savior　　〃
〃It　was　him　who　took　our　Lord　up　on　the　mountain　〃〃Yes　　〃
〃It　was　him　that　tempted　him　and　shewed　him　all　the　world　and　the　world's　pleasures　〃Yesss　　〃
〃It's　him　that　will　e　back　when　Last　Times　e　on　the　world。。；　and　they　are　ing；　my　brothers　and　sisters；　can't　you　feel　they　are？〃
〃Yesss　　〃
Rocking　and　sobbing；　the　congregation　became　a　sea；　the　woman　seemed　to　point　at　all　of　them；　none　of　them。
〃It's　him　that　will　e　as　the　Antichrist；　to　lead　men　into　the　flaming　bowels　of　perdition；　to　the　bloody　end　of　wickedness；　as　Star　Wormwood　hangs　blazing　in　the　sky；　as　gall　gnaws　at　the　vitals　of　the　children；　as　women's　wombs　give　forth　monstrosities；　as　the　works　of　men's　hands　turn　to　blood　　〃
〃Ahhh　　〃
〃Ah；　God　　〃
〃Gawwwwwwww　　〃
A　woman　fell　on　the　floor；　her　legs　crashing　up　and　down　against　the　wood。　One　of　her　shoes　flew　off。
〃It's　him　that　stands　behind　every　fleshly　pleasure　。。。　him！　The　Interloper！〃
〃Yes；　Lord！〃
A　man　fell　on　his　knees；　holding　his　head　and　braying。
〃When　you　take　a　drink；　who　holds　the　bottle？〃
〃The　Interloper！〃
〃When　you　sit　down　to　a　faro　or　a　Watch　Me　table；　who　turns　the　cards？〃
〃The　Interloper！〃
〃When　you　riot　in　the　flesh　of　another's　body；　when　you　pollute　yourself；　who　are　you　selling　your　soul　to？〃
〃In　　〃
〃The　　〃
〃Oh；　Jesus　。　。。　Oh　　〃
〃　loper　
〃Aw。。。Aw。。。Aw。。。　〃
〃And　who　is　he？〃　She　screamed　（but　calm　within；　he　could　sense　the　calmness；　the　mastery；　the　control；　the　domination。　He　thought　suddenly；　with　terror　and　absolute　surety：　he　has　left　a　demon　in　her。　She　is　haunted。　He　felt　the　hot　ripple　of　sexual　desire　again　through　his　fear。）
The　man　who　was　holding　his　head　crashed　and　blundered　forward。
〃I'm　in　hell！〃　He　screamed　up　at　her。　His　face　twisted　and　writhed　as　if　snakes　crawled　beneath　his　skin。　〃I　done　fornications！　I　done　gambling！　I　done　weed！　I　done　sins！　I
　〃　But　his　voice　rose　skyward　in　a　dreadful；　hysterical　wail　that　drowned　articulation。　He　held　his　head　as　if　it　would　burst　like　an　overripe　cantaloupe　at　any　moment。
The　audience　stilled　as　if　a　cue　had　been　given；　frozen　in　their　half…erotic　poses　of　ecstasy。
Sylvia　Pittston　reached　down　and　grasped　his　head。　The　man's　cry　ceased　as　her　fingers；　strong　and　white；　unblemished　and　gentle；　worked　through　his　hair。　He　looked　up　at　her　dumbly。
〃Who　was　with　you　in　sin？〃　She　asked。　Her　eyes　looked　into　his；　deep　enough；　gentle　enough；　cold　enough　to　drown　in。
〃The。。　。　the　Interloper。〃
〃Called　who？〃
〃Called　Satan。〃　Raw；　oozing　whisper。
〃Will　you　renounce？〃
Eagerly：　〃Yes！　Yes！　Oh；　my　Jesus　Savior！〃
She　rocked　his　head；　he　stared　at　her　with　the　blank；　shiny　eyes　of　the　zealot。　〃If　he　walked　through　that　door
　〃　she　hammered　a　finger　at　the　vestibule　shadows　where　the　gunslinger　stood　　〃would　you　renounce　him　to　his　face？〃
〃On　my　mother's　name！〃
〃Do　you　believe　in　the　eternal　love　of　Jesus？〃
He　began　to　weep。　〃Your　fucking…A　I　do　　〃
〃He　forgives　you　that；　Jonson。〃
〃Praise　God；〃　Jonson　said；　still　weeping。
〃I　know　he　forgives　you　just　as　I　know　he　will　cast　out　the　unrepentant　from　his　palaces　and　into　the　place　of　burning　darkness。　〃
〃Praise　God。　〃　The　congregation　drained；　spoke　it　solemnly。
〃Just　as　I　know　this　Interloper；　this　Satan；　this　Lord　of　Flies　and　Serpents　will　be　cast　down　and　crushed。　。　。　will　you　crush　him　if　you　see　him；　Jonson？〃
〃Yes　and　praise　God！〃　Jonson　wept。
〃Will　you　crush　him　if　you　see　him；　brothers　and　sisters？〃
〃Yess。。。　〃　Sated。
〃If　you　see　him　sashaying　down　Main　St　tomorrow？〃
〃Praise　God。。。　〃
The　gunslinger；　unsettled；　at　the　same　time；　faded　back　out　the　door　and　headed　for　town。　The　smell　of　the　desert　was　clear　in　the　air。　Almost　time　to　move　on。　Almost
　
　
XIII
　
　
In　bed　again。
〃She　won't　see　you；〃　Allie　said。　She　sounded　frightened。　〃She　doesn't　see　anybody。　She　only　es　out　on　Sunday　evenings　to　scare　the　hell　out　of　everybody。〃
〃How　long　has　she　been　here？〃
〃Twelve　years　or　so。　Let's　not　talk　about　her。〃
〃Where　did　she　e　from？　Which　direction？〃
〃I　don't　know。〃　Lying。
〃Allie？〃
〃I　don't　know！〃
〃Allie？〃
〃All　right！　All　right！　She　came　from　the　dwellers！　From　the　desert！〃
〃I　thought　so。〃　He　relaxed　a　little。　〃Where　does　she　live？〃
Her　voice　dropped　a　notch。　〃If　I　tell　you；　will　you　make　love　to　me？〃
〃You　know　the　answer　to　that。〃
She　sighed。　It　was　an　old；　yellow　sound；　like　turning　pages。　〃She　has　a　house　over　the　knoll　in　back　of　the　church。　A　little　shack。　It's　where　the　。　。　。　the　real　minister　used　to　live　until　he　moved　out。　Is　that　enough？　Are　you　satisfied？〃
〃No。　Not　yet。〃　And　he　rolled　on　top　of　her。
　
　
XIV
　
　
It　was　the　last　day；　and　he　knew　it。
The　sky　was　an　ugly；　bruised　purple；　weirdly　lit　from　above　with　the　first　fingers　of　dawn。　Allie　moved　about　like　a　wraith；　lighting　lamps；　tending　the　corn　fritters　that　spluttered　in　the　skillet。　He　had　loved　her　hard　after　she　had　told　him　what　he　had　to　know；　and　she　had　sensed　the　ing　end　and　had　given　more　than　she　had　ever　given；　and　she　had　given　it　with　desperation　against　the　ing　of　dawn；　given　it　with　the　tireless　energy　of　sixteen。　But　she　was　pale　this　morning；　on　the　brink　of　menopause　again。
She　served　him　without　a　word。　He　ate　rapidly；　chewing；　swallowing；　chasing　each　bite　with　hot　coffee。　Allie　went　to　the　batwings　and　stood　staring　out　at　the　morning；　at　the　silent　b