dk.coldfire-第65章

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　Jim　sat　unmoving。　
　Henry　Ironheart　shifted　his　attention　to　Holly。　〃He　came　back　at　last　when　I　had　my　stroke。　He　sat　beside　me　when　I　was　in　intensive　care。　I　couldn't　speak　right；　couldn't　say　what　I　tried　to　say；　the　wrong　words　kept　ing　out；　making　no　sense…〃　〃Aphasia；〃　Holly　said。　
　〃A　result　of　the　stroke。〃　
　Henry　nodded。　〃Once；　hooked　up　to　all　those　machines；　I　tried　to　tell　him　what　I'd　known　for　almost　thirteen　years…that　he　wasn't　a　killer　and　that　I'd　been　cruel　to　him。〃　New　tears　flooded　his　eyes。　
　〃But　when　it　came　out；　it　wasn't　right　at　all；　not　what　I　meant；　and　he　misunderstood　it　thought　I'd　called　him　a　murderer　and　was　afraid　of　him。　He　left；　and　now's　the　first　I've　seen　him　since。　More　than　four　years。〃　
　Jim　sat　with　his　head　bowed。　
　Hands　fisted。　
　What　had　he　remembered　of　that　night　in　the　mill；　the　part　that　no　one　but　him　could　know？　Holly　got　up　from　the　bench；　unable　to　endure　the　wait　for　Jim's　reaction。　She　stood　there；　with　no　idea　where　to　go。　At　last　she　sat　down　again。　
　She　put　her　hand　over　his　fist；　as　before。　
　She　looked　up。　
　More　birds。　Maybe　thirty　of　them　now。　
　〃I'm　afraid；〃　Jim　said；　but　that　was　all。　
　〃After　that　night；〃　Henry　said；　〃he　never　went　into　the　mill　again；　never　mentioned　The　Friend　or　the　Willott　book。　And　at　first　I　thought　it　was　good　he　turned　away　from　that　obsession。　。　。　he　seemed　less　strange。　But　later　I've　wondered。　。　。　maybe　he　lost　the　one　fort　he　had。　〃　〃I'm　afraid　to　remember；〃　Jim　said。　
　She　knew　what　he　meant：　only　one　last　long…hidden　memory　waited　to　be　revealed。　Whether　his　grandmother　had　died　by　accident。　Or　whether　The　Enemy　had　killed　her。　Whether　he；　as　The　Enemy；　had　killed　her。　
　Unable　to　stare　at　Jim's　bowed　head　a　moment　longer；　unable　to　bear　Henry　Ironheart's　wretched　look　of　guilt　and　fragile　hope；　Holly　glanced　up　at　the　birds　again…and　saw　them　ing。　More　than　thirty　of　them　now；　dark　knives　slicing　down　through　the　somber　sky；　still　high　up　but　ing　straight　toward　the　courtyard。　
　〃Jim；　no！〃　Henry　looked　up。　
　Jim　lifted　his　face；　too；　but　not　to　see　what　was　ing。　He　knew　what　was　ing。　He　raised　his　face　as　if　to　offer　his　eyes　to　their　sharp　beaks　and　frenzied　claws。　
　Holly　leaped　to　her　feet；　making　herself　a　more　prominent　target　than　he　was。　〃Jim；　face　it；　remember　it；　for　Christ's　sake！〃　She　could　hear　the　shrieks　of　the　swift…descending　birds。　
　〃Even　if　The　Enemy　did　it；〃　she　said；　pulling　Jim's　upturned　face　to　her　breast；　shielding　him；　〃you　can　get　past　that　somehow；　you　can　go　on。〃　
　Henry　Ironheart　cried　out　in　shock；　and　the　birds　burst　over　Holly；　flapping　and　squirming　against　her；　swooping　away；　then　more　of　them　fluttering　and　scraping；　trying　to　get　past　her　and　at　Jim's　face；　at　his　eyes。　
　after　all；　manifesting　itself　in　a　whole　new　way；　and　The　Enemy　hated　her　as　much　as　it　hated　Jim。　
　The　birds　swirled　out　of　the　courtyard；　back　into　the　sky；　gone　like　so　many　leaves　in　a　violent　updraft。　
　Henry　Ironheart　was　frightened　but　unhurt。　〃Move　away；〃　she　told　him。　
　〃No；〃　he　said。　He　reached　helplessly　for　Jim；　who　would　not　reach　for　him。　
　When　Holly　dared　look　up；　she　knew　that　the　birds　were　not　finished。　
　They　had　only　soared　to　the　fringe　of　the　bearded　gray　clouds；　where　another　score　of　them　had　collected。　Fifty　or　sixty　now；　churning　and　dark；　hungry　and　quick。　
　She　was　aware　of　people　at　the　windows　and　sliding　glass　doors　that　opened　onto　the　courtyard。　Two　nurses　came　through　the　same　slider　that　she　had　used　when　wheeling　Henry　out　to　meet　Jim。　
　〃Stay　back！〃　she　shouted　at　them；　not　sure　how　much　danger　they　might　be　in。　
　Jim's　rage；　while　directed　at　himself　and　perhaps　at　God　for　the　very　fact　of　death's　existence；　might　nevertheless　spill　over　and　spend　itself　on　the　innocent。　Her　shouted　warning　must　have　frightened　the　nurses；　for　they　retreated　and　stood　in　the　doorway。　
　She　raised　her　eyes　again。　The　larger　flock　was　ing。　
　〃Jim；〃　she　said　urgently；　holding　his　face　in　both　hands；　peering　into　his　beautiful　blue　eyes；　icy　now　with　a　cold　fire　of　self　hatred；　〃only　one　more　step；　only　one　more　thing　to　remember。〃　Though　their　eyes　were　only　a　few　inches　apart；　she　did　not　believe　that　he　saw　her；　he　seemed　to　be　looking　through　her　as　he　had　earlier　in　Tivoli　Gardens　when　the　burrowing　creature　had　been　racing　at　them。　
　The　descending　flock　squealed　demonically。　
　〃Jim；　damn　you；　what　happened　to　Lena　might　not　be　worth　suicide！〃　The　rustle…roar　of　wings　filled　the　day。　She　pulled　Jim's　face　against　her　body；　and　as　before　he　did　not　struggle　when　she　shielded　him；　which　gave　her　hope。　She　bent　her　head　and　closed　her　eyes　as　tightly　as　she　could。　
　They　came：　silken　feathers；　smooth　cold　beaks　ticking；　prying；　searching；　claws　scrabbling　gently；　then　not　so　gently；　but　still　not　drawing　blood；　swarming　around　her　almost　as　if　they　were　hungry　rats；　swirling；　darting；　fluttering；　squirming　along　her　back　and　legs；　between　her　thighs；　up　along　her　torso；　trying　to　get　between　his　face　and　her　bosom；　where　they　could　tear　and　gouge；　batting　against　her　head；　and　always　the　shrieking；　as　shrill　as　the　cries　of　madwomen　in　a　psychopathic　fury；　screaming　in　her　cars；　wordless　demands　for　blood；　blood；　blood；　and　then　she　felt　a　sharp　pain　in　her　arm　as　one　of　the　flock　ripped　open　her　sleeve　and　pinched　skin　with　it。　
　〃No！〃　cloud　of　other　birds；　a　mass　of　dark　bodies　and　wings；　perhaps　two　hundred　of　them　high　overhead。　
　She　glanced　at　Henry　Ironheart。　The　birds　had　drawn　blood　from　one　of　his　hands。　Having　huddled　back　into　his　chair　during　the　attack；　he　now　leaned　forward　again；　reached　out　with　one　hand；　and　called　Jim's　name　pleadingly。　
　Holly　looked　down　into　Jim's　eyes　as　he　sat　on　the　bench　in　front　of　her　and　still　he　was　not　there。　He　was　in　the　mill；　most　likely；　on　the　night　of　the　storm；　looking　at　his　grandmother　just　one　second　before　the　fall；　frozen　at　that　moment　in　time；　unable　to　advance　the　memory…film　one　more　frame。　
　The　birds　were　ing。　
　They　were　still　far　away；　just　under　the　cloud　cover；　but　there　were　so　many　of　them　now　that　the　thunder　of　their　wings　carried　a　greater　distance。　Their　shrieks　were　like　the　voices　of　the　damned。　
　〃Jim；　you　can　take　the　path　that　Larry　Kakonis　took；　you　can　kill　yourself　I　can't　stop　you。　But　if　The　Enemy　doesn't　want　me　any　more；　if　it　wants　only　you；　don't　think　I'm　spared。　If　you　die；　Jim；　I'm　dead；　too；　as　good　as　dead；　I'll　do　what　Larry　Kakonis　did；　I'll　kill　myself；　and　I'll　rot　in　hell　with　you　if　I　can't　have　you　anywhere　else！〃　The　Enemy　of　countless　parts　fell　upon　her　as　she　pulled　Jim's　face　against　her　a　third　time。　She　didn't　hide　her　own　face　or　close　her　eyes　as　before；　but　stood　in　that　maelstrom　of　wings　and　beaks　and　talons。　She　looked　back　into　scores　of　small；　glistening；　pure…black　eyes　that　circled　her　unblinking；　each　as　wet　and　deep　as　the　night　reflected　on　the　face　of　the　sea；　each　as　merciless　and　cruel　as　the　universe　itself　and　as　anything　in　the　heart　of　humankind。　She　knew　that；　staring　into　those　eyes；　she　was　staring　into　a　part　of　Jim；　his　most　secret　and　darkest　part；　which　she　could　not　reach　otherwise；　and　she　said　his　name。　She　did　not　shout；　did　not　scream；　did　not　beg　or　plead；　did　not　vent　her　anger　or　fear；　but　said　his　name　softly；　again　and　again；　with　all　the　tenderness　that　she　felt　for　him；　with　all　the　love　she　had。　They　battered　against　her　so　hard　that　pinions　snapped；　opened　their　hooked　beaks　and　shrieked　in　her　face；　plucked　threateningly　at　her　clothes　and　hair；　tugging　but　not　ripping；　giving　her　one　last　chance　to　flee。　They　tried　to　intimidate　her　with　their　eyes；　the　cold　and　uncaring　eyes　of　beasts　of　prey；　but　she　was　not　intimidated；　she　just　kept　repeating　his　name；　then　the　promise　that　she　loved　him；　over　and　over　until　…they　were　gone。　
　They　didn't　whirl　up　into　the　sky；　as　before。　They　vanished。　One　moment　the　air　was　filled　with　them　and　their　fierce　cries…but　the　next　moment　they　were　gone　as　if　they　had　never　been。　
　Holly　held　Jim　against　her　for　a　moment　then　let　him　go。　He　still　looked　through　her　more　than　at　her　and　seemed　to　be　in　a　trance。　
　〃Jim；〃　Henry　Ironheart　said　beseechingly；　still　reaching　out　toward　his　grandson。　
　After　a　hesitation；　Jim　slid　off　the　bench；　onto　his　knees　in　front　of　the　old　man。　He　took　the　withered　hand　and　kissed　it。　
　Without　looking　up　at　either　Holly　or　Henry；　Jim　said；　〃Grandma　saw　The　Enemy　ing　out　of　the　wall。　First　time　it　happened；　first　time　I　saw　it；　too。〃　His　voice　sounded　faraway；　as　if　a　part　of　him　were　still　back　in　the　past；　reliving　that　dreaded　moment；　grateful　that　there　had　not　been　as　much　reason　to　dread　it　as　he　had　thought。　
　〃She　saw　it；　and　it　frightened　her；　and　she　stumbled　back　into　the　stairs；　tripped；　fell。　。　。〃　He　pressed　his　grandfather's　hand　to　his　cheek　and　said；　〃I　didn't　kill　her。〃　
　〃I　know　you　didn't；　Jim；〃　Henry　Ironheart　said。　〃My　God；　I　know　you　didn't。〃　
　The　old　man　looked　up　at　Holly　with　a　thousand　questions　about　birds　and　enemies　and　things　in　walls。　But　she　knew　he　would　have　to　wait　for　answers　until　another　day；　as　she　had　waited…as　Jim　had　waited；　too。　
　During　the　drive　over　the　mountains　and　down　into　Santa　Barbara；　Jim　slumped　in　his　seat；　eyes　closed。　He　seemed　to　have　fallen　into　a　deep　sleep。　She　supposed　he　needed　sleep　as　desperately　as　any　man　could　need　it；　for　he'd　enjoyed　almost　no　real　rest　in　twenty…five　years。　
　She　was　no　longer　afraid　to　let　him　sleep。　She　was　certain　that　The　Enemy　was　gone；　with　The　Friend；　and　that　only　one　personality　inhabited　his　body　now。　Dreams　were　no　longer　doorways。　
　For　the　time　being；　she　did　not　want　to　return　to　the　mill；　even　though　they　had　left　some　gear　there。　She'd　had　enough　of　Svenborg；　too；　and　all　it　represented　in　Jim's　life。　She　wanted　to　hole　up　in　a　new　place；　where　neither　of　them　had　been；　where　new　beginnings　might　be　forged　with　no　taint　of　the　past。　
　As　she　drove　through　that　parched　land　under　the　ashen　sky；　she　put　the　pieces　together　and　studied　the　resulting　picture：。　an　enormously　gifted　boy；　far　more　gifted　than　even　he　knows；　lives　through　the　slaughter　in　the　Dixie　Duck；　but　es　out　of　the　holocaust　with　a　shattered　soul。　In　his　desperation　to　feel　good　about　himself　again；　he　borrow's　Arthur　Willott's　fantasy；　using　his　special　power　to　create　The　Friend；　an　embodiment　of　his　most　noble　aspirations；　and　The　Friend　tells　him　he　has　a　mission　in　life。　
　But　the　boy　is　so　full　of　despair　and　rage　that　The　Friend　alone　is　not　enough　to　heal　him。　He　needs　a　third　personality；　something　into　which　he　can　shove　all　his　negative　feelings；　all　the　darkness　in　himself　that　frightens　him。　So　he　creates　The　Enemy；　embellishing　Willott's　story　structure。　
　Alone　in　the　windmill；　he　has　exhilarating　conversations　with　The　Friend　…and　works　out　his　rage　through　the　materialization　of　The　Enemy。　
　Until；　one　night；　Lena　Ironheart　walks　in　at　the　wrong　moment。　
　Frightened；　she　falls　backward。　。　。　。　
　In　shock　because　of　what　The　Enemy　has　done；　merely　by　its　presence；　Jim　forces　himself　to　forget　the　fantasy；　both　The　Friend　and　Enemy；　just　as　Jim　Jamison　forgot　his　alien　encounter　after　saving　the　life　of　the　fut