dk.coldfire-第46章

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　to　me　in　this　room　when　I　was　ten　years　old？　YES。　OFTEN。　
　Did　you　make　me　forget　it？　YES。　
　〃Don't　bother　writing　your　questions；〃　Holly　said。　〃Just　ask　them　like　I　do。〃　
　Jim　was　clearly　startled　by　her　suggestion；　and　she　was　surprised　that　he　had　persisted　with　his　pen　and　tablet　even　after　seeing　that　the　questions　she　asked　aloud　were　answered。　He　seemed　reluctant　to　put　aside　the　felttip　and　the　paper；　but　at　last　he　did。　〃Why　did　you　make　me　forget？〃　Even　standing；　Holly　could　easily　read　the　bold　words　that　appeared　on　the　yellow　tablet：　YOU　WERE　NOT　READY　TO　REMEMBER。　
　〃Unnecessarily　cryptic；〃　she　muttered。　〃You're　right。　It　must　be　male。〃　
　Jim　tore　off　the　used　page；　put　it　with　the　others；　and　paused；　chewing　his　lip；　evidently　not　sure　what　to　ask　next。　Finally　he　said；　〃Are　you　male　or　female？〃　I　AM　MALE。　
　〃More　likely；〃　Holly　said；　〃it's　neither。　It's　alien；　after　all；　and　it's　as　likely　to　reproduce　by　parthenogenesis。〃　
　I　AM　MALE；　it　repeated。　
　Jim　remained　seated；　legs　folded；　an　undiminished　look　of　wonder　on　his　face；　more　boylike　now　than　ever。　
　Holly　did　not　understand　why　her　anxiety　level　was　soaring　while　Jim　continued　to　bounce　up　and　down…well；　virtually…with　enthusiasm　and　delight。　
　He　said；　〃What　do　you　look　like？〃　WHATEVER　I　CHOOSE　TO　LOOK　LIKE。　
　〃Could　you　appear　to　us　as　a　man　or　woman？〃　Jim　asked。　
　YES。　
　〃As　a　dog？〃　YES。　
　〃As　a　cat？〃　YES。　
　〃As　a　beetle？〃　YES。　
　Without　the　security　of　his　pen　and　tablet；　Jim　seemed　to　have　been　reduced　to　inane　questions。　Holly　half　expected　him　to　ask　the　entity　what　its　favorite　color　was；　whether　it　preferred　Coke　or　Pepsi；　and　if　it　liked　Barry　Manilow　music。　
　But　he　said；　〃How　old　are　you？〃　I　AM　A　CHILD。　
　〃A　child？〃　Jim　responded。　〃But　you　told　us　you've　been　on　our　world　for　ten　thousand　years。〃　
　I　AM　STILL　A　CHILD。　
　Jim　said；　〃Then　is　your　species　very　long…lived？〃　WE　ARE　IMMORTAL。　
　〃Wow。〃　
　〃It's　lying；〃　Holly　told　him。　
　Appalled　by　her　effrontery；　he　said；　〃Jesus；　Holly！〃　〃Well；　it　is。〃　
　And　that　was　the　source　of　her　renewed　fear…the　fact　that　it　was　not　being　straight　with　them；　was　playing　games；　deceiving。　She　had　a　sense　that　it　regarded　them　with　enormous　contempt。　In　which　case；　she　probably　should　have　shut　up；　been　meekly　adoring　before　its　power；　and　tried　not　to　anger　it。　
　Instead　she　said；　〃If　it　were　really　immortal；　it　wouldn't　think　of　itself　as　a　child。　It　couldn　't　think　that　way　about　itself　Infancy；　childhood；　adolescence；　adulthood…those　are　age　categories　a　species　concerns　itself　with　if　it　has　a　finite　lifespan。　If　you're　immortal；　you　might　be　born　innocent；　ignorant；　uneducated；　but　you　aren't　born　young　because　you're　never　really　going　to　get　old。〃　
　〃Aren't　you　splitting　hairs？〃　Jim　asked　almost　petulantly。　
　〃I　don't　think　so。　It's　lying　to　us。〃　
　〃Maybe　its　use　of　the　word　child'　was　just　another　way　it　was　trying　to　make　its　alien　nature　more　understandable。〃　
　YES。　
　〃Bullshit；〃　Holly　said。　
　〃Damn　it；　Holly！〃　As　Jim　removed　another　page　from　the　tablet；　detaching　it　neatly　along　its　edge；　Holly　moved　to　the　wall　and　studied　the　patterns　of　light　churning　through　it。　Seen　close　up；　they　were　quite　beautiful　and　strange；　not　like　a　smooth…flowing　phosphorescent　fluid　or　fiery　streams　of　lava；　but　like　scintillant　swarms　of　fireflies；　millions　of　spangled　points　not　unlike　her　analogy　of　luminous；　schooling　fish。　
　Holly　half　expected　the　wall　in　front　of　her　to　bulge　suddenly。　
　Split　open。　Give　birth　to　a　monstrous　form。　
　She　wanted　to　step　back。　Instead　she　moved　closer。　Her　nose　was　only　an　inch　from　the　transmuted　stone。　Viewed　this　intimately；　the　surge　and　flux　and　whirl　of　the　millions　of　bright　cells　was　dizzying。　
　There　was　no　beat　from　it；　but　she　imagined　she　could　feel　the　flicker　of　light　and　shadow　across　her　face。　
　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　she　asked。　
　After　a　few　seconds；　Jim　spoke　from　behind　her：　〃No　answer。〃　
　The　question　seemed　innocent　enough；　and　one　that　they　should　logically　be　expected　to　ask。　The　entity's　unwillingness　to　answer　alerted　her　that　the　ringing　must　be　somehow　vitally　important。　
　Understanding　the　bells　might　be　the　first　step　toward　learning　something　real　and　true　about　this　creature。　
　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　Jim　reported：　〃No　answer。　I　don't　think　you　should　ask　that　question　again；　Holly。　It　obviously　doesn't　want　to　answer；　and　there's　nothing　to　be　gained　by　aggravating　it。　This　isn't　The　Enemy；　this　is…〃　〃Yeah；　I　know。　It's　The　Friend。〃　
　She　remained　at　the　wall　and　felt　herself　to　be　face…to…face　with　an　alien　presence；　though　it　had　nothing　that　corresponded　to　a　face。　
　It　was　focused　on　her　now。　It　was　right　there。　
　Again　she　said；　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　Instinctively　she　knew　that　her　innocent　question　and　her　not…so…innocent　repetition　of　it　had　put　her　in　great　danger。　Her　heart　was　thudding　so　loud　that　she　wondered　if　Jim　could　hear　it。　She　figured　The　Friend；　with　all　its　powers；　could　not　only　hear　her　hammering　heart　but　see　it　jumping　like　a　panicked　rabbit　within　the　cage　of　her　chest。　It　knew　she　was　afraid；　all　right。　Hell；　it　might　even　be　able　to　read　her　mind。　She　had　to　show　it　that　she　would　not　allow　fear　to　deter　her。　
　She　put　one　hand　on　the　light…filled　stone。　If　those　luminous　clouds　wert　not　merely　a　projection　of　the　creature's　consciousness；　not　just　an　illusion　or　representation　for　their　benefit；　if　the　thing　was；　as　it　claimed；　actually　alive　in　the　wall；　then　the　stone　was　now　its　flesh。　
　Her　hand　was　upon　its　body。　
　Faint　vibrations　passed　across　the　wall　in　distinctive；　whirling　vortexes　That　was　all　she　felt。　No　heat。　The　fire　within　the　stone　was　evidently　cold。　
　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　〃Holly；　don't；〃　Jim　said。　Worry　tainted　his　voice　for　the　first　time。　
　Perhaps　he；　too；　had　begun　to　sense　that　The　Friend　was　not　entirely　a　friend。　
　But　she　was　driven　by　a　suspicion　that　willpower　mattered　in　this　confrontation；　and　that　a　demonstration　of　unflinching　will　would　set　a　ne　tone　in　their　relationship　with　The　Friend。　She　could　not　have　explained　why　she　felt　so　strongly　about　it。　Just　instinct…not　a　woman's　but　an　exreporter's。　
　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　She　thought　she　detected　a　slight　change　in　the　vibrations　that　tingled　across　her　palm；　but　she　might　have　imagined　it；　for　they　were　barely　perceptible　in　the　first　place。　Through　her　mind　flickered　an　image　of　the　stone　cracking　open　in　a　jagged　mouth　and　biting　off　her　hand；　blood　spurting；　white　bone　bristling　from　the　ragged　stump　of　her　wrist。　
　Though　she　was　shaking　uncontrollably；　she　did　not　step　back　or　lift　her　hand　off　the　wall。　
　She　wondered　if　The　Friend　had　sent　her　that　horrifying　image。　
　〃Why　is　your　approach　marked　by　the　sound　of　bells？〃　〃Holly；　for　Christ's　sake…〃　Jim　broke　off；　then　said；　〃Wait；　an　answer's　ing。〃　
　Willpower　did　matter。　But　for　God's　sake；　why？　Why　should　an　all…powerful　alien　force　from　another　galaxy　be　intimidated　by　her　unwavering　resolution？　Jim　reported　the　response：　〃It　says。　。　。　For　drama？'〃　〃For　drama？〃　she　repeated。　
　〃Yeah。　F…O…R；　then　D…R…A…M…A；　then　a　question　mark。〃　To　the　thing　in　the　wall；　she　said；　〃Are　you　telling　me　the　bells　are　just　a　bit　of　theater　to　dramatize　your　apparitions？〃　After　a　few　seconds；　Jim　said；　〃No　answer。〃　
　〃And　why　the　question　mark？〃　she　asked　The　Friend。　〃Don't　you　know　what　the　bells　mean　yourself；　where　the　sound　es　from；　what　makes　it；　why？　Are　you　only　guessing　when　you　say　for　drama'？　How　can　you　not　know　what　it　is　if　it　always　acpanies　you？〃　〃Nothing；〃　Jim　told　her。　
　She　stared　into　the　wall。　The　churning；　schooling　cells　of　light　were　increasingly　disorienting　her；　but　she　did　not　close　her　eyes。　
　〃A　new　message；〃　Jim　said。〃　I　am　going。'〃　〃Chicken；〃　Holly　said　softly　into　the　amorphous　face　of　the　thing　in　the　wall。　But　she　was　sheathed　in　cold　sweat　now。　
　The　amber　light　began　to　darken；　turn　orange。　
　Stepping　away　from　the　wall　at　last；　Holly　swayed　and　almost　fell。　
　She　moved　back　to　her　bedroll　and　dropped　to　her　knees。　
　New　words　appeared　on　the　tablet：　I　WILL　BE　BACK。　
　〃When？〃　Jim　asked。　
　WHEN　THE　TIDE　IS　MINE。　
　〃What　tide？〃　THERE　IS　A　TIDE　IN　THE　VESSEL；　AN　EBB　AND　FLOW；　DARKNESS　AND　LIGHT。　I　RISE　WITH　THE　LIGHT　TIDE；　BUT　HE　RISES　WITH　THE　DARK。　
　〃He？〃　Holly　asked。　
　THE　ENEMY。　
　The　light　in　the　walls　was　red…orange　now；　dimmer；　but　still　ceaselessly　changing　patterns　around　them。　
　Jim　said；　〃Two　of　you　share　the　starship？〃　YES。　TWO　FORCES。　TWO　ENTITIES。　
　It's　lying；　Holly　thought。　This；　like　all　the　rest　of　its　story；　is　just　like　the　bells：　good　theater。　
　WAIT　FOR　MY　RETURN。　
　〃We'll　wait；〃　Jim　said。　
　DO　NOT　SLEEP。　
　〃Why　can't　we　sleep？〃　Holly　asked；　playing　along。　
　YOU　MIGHT　DREAM。　
　The　page　was　full。　Jim　ripped　it　off　and　stacked　it　with　the　others。　
　The　light　in　the　walls　was　blood…red　now；　steadily　fading。　
　DREAMS　ARE　DOORWAYS。　
　〃What　are　you　telling　us？〃　The　same　three　words　again：　DREAMS　ARE　DOORWAYS。　
　〃It's　a　warning；〃　Jim　said。　
　DREAMS　ARE　DOORWAYS。　
　No；　Holly　thought；　it's　a　threat。　
　The　windmill　was　just　a　windmill　again。　Stones　and　timbers。　
　Mortar　and　nails。　Dust　sifting；　wood　rotting；　iron　rusting；　spiders　spinning　in　secret　lairs。　
　Holly　sat　directly　in　front　of　Jim；　in　powwow　position；　their　knees　touching。　She　held　both　his　hands；　partly　because　she　drew　strength　from　his　touch；　and　partly　because　she　wanted　to　reassure　him　and　take　the　sting　out　of　what　she　was　about　to　say。　
　〃Listen；　babe；　you're　the　most　interesting　man　I've　ever　known；　the　sexiest；　for　sure；　and　I　think；　at　heart；　the　kindest。　But　you　do　a　lousy　interview。　For　the　most　part；　your　questions　aren't　well　thought…out；　you　don't　get　at　the　meat　of　an　issue；　you　follow　up　on　irrelevancies　but　generally　fail　to　follow　up　on　the　really　important　answers。　And　you're　a　naive　enough　reporter　to　think　that　the　subject　is　always　being　straight　with　you；　when　they're　almost　never　straight　with　an　interviewer；　so　you　don't　probe　the　way　you　should。〃　
　He　did　not　seem　offended。　He　smiled　and　said；　〃I　didn't　think　of　myself　s　a　reporter　doing　an　interview。〃　
　〃Well；　kiddo；　that's　exactly　what　the　situation　was。　The　Friend；　as　he　calls　himself；　has　information；　and　we　need　information　to　know　where　we　stand；　to　do　our　job。〃　
　〃I　thought　of　it　more　as。　。　。　I　don't　know。　。　。　as　an　epiphany。　
　When　God　came　to　Moses　with　the　Ten　mandments；　I　figure　He　just　told　Moses　what　they　were；　and　if　Moses　had　other　questions　he　didn't　feel　he　had　to　grill　the　Big　Guy。〃　
　〃This　wasn't　God　in　the　walls。〃　
　〃I　know　that。　I'm　past　that　idea　now。　But　it　was　an　alien　intelligence　so　superior　to　us　that　it　almost　might　as　well　be　God。〃　
　〃We　don't　know　that；〃　she　said　patiently。　
　〃Sure　we　do。　When　you　consider　the　high　degree　of　intelligence　and　the　millennia　needed　to　build　a　civilization　capable　of　traveling　across　galaxies　…good　heavens；　we're　only　monkeys　by　parison！〃　〃There；　you　see；　that's　what　I'm　talking　about。　How　do　you　know　it's　from　another　galaxy？　Because　you　b