dk.coldfire-第17章

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ied　twenty…five　years　ago；　when　I　was　only　eight。〃　Actually；　it　was　Jim　Ironheart's　parents　who　had　died　twenty…five　years　ago；　when　he　was　ten；　a　fact　she　had　turned　up　in　stories　about　his　lottery　win。　〃So　I'll　never　have　a　chance　to　know　them。〃　
　〃What　a　terrible　thing。　Now　it's　my　turn　to　be　sorry　for　you；〃　Viola　said　with　a　note　of　genuine　sympathy　in　her　soft　voice。　
　Holly　felt　like　a　heel。　By　concocting　this　false　personal　tragedy；　she　seemed　to　be　mocking　Viola's　very　real　loss。　She　went　on　anyway：　〃But　it's　not　as　bleak　as　it　might've　been；　because　I've　discovered　I　have　a　brother　as　I　told　you　on　the　phone。〃　
　Leaning　forward　with　her　arms　on　the　table；　Viola　was　eager　to　hear　the　details　and　learn　how　she　could　help。　〃And　there's　something　I　can　do　to　help　you　find　your　brother？〃　〃Not　exactly。　You　see；　I've　already　found　him。〃　
　〃How　wonderful！〃　〃But。　。　。　I'm　afraid　to　approach　him。〃　
　〃Afraid？　But　why？〃　Holly　looked　out　at　the　greensward　and　swallowed　hard　a　couple　of　times；　as　if　choking　on　emotion　and　struggling　to　maintain　control　of　herself。　
　She　was　good。　Academy　Award　stuff。　She　loathed　herself　for　it。　
　When　she　spoke；　she　managed　to　get　a　subtle　and　convincing　tremor　in　her　voice：　〃As　far　as　I　know；　he's　the　only　blood　relative　I　have　in　the　world；　and　my　only　link　to　the　mother　and　father　I'll　never　know。　
　He's　my　brother；　Mrs。　Moreno；　and　I　love　him。　Even　though　I've　never　met　him；　I　love　him。　But　what　if　I　approach　him；　open　my　heart　to　him。　
　。　。　and　he　wishes　I'd　never　shown　up；　doesn't　like　me　or　something？〃　〃Good　heavens；　of　course　he'll　like　you！　Why　wouldn't　he　like　a　nice　young　woman　like　you？　Why　wouldn't　he　be　delighted　to　have　someone　as　sweet　as　you　for　a　sister？〃　I'm　going　to　rot　in　hell　for　this；　Holly　thought　miserably。　
　She　said；　〃Well；　it　may　sound　silly　to　you；　but　I'm　worried　about　it。　
　I've　never　made　good　first　impressions　with　people…〃　〃You've　made　an　excellent　one　with　me；　dear。〃　
　Grind　my　face　under　your　heel；　why　don't　you？　Holly　thought。　
　She　said；　〃I　want　to　be　careful。　I　want　to　know　as　much　as　possible　about　him　before　I　knock　on　his　door。　I　want　to　know　what　he　likes；　what　he　doesn't　like；　how　he　feels　about。　。　。　oh；　about　all　sorts　of　things。　God；　Mrs。　Moreno；　I　don't　want　to　blow　this。〃　
　Viola　nodded。　〃I　assume　you've　e　to　me　because　I　know　your　brother；　probably　had　him　years　ago　in　one　of　my　classes？〃　〃You　do　teach　history　at　a　junior　high　school　here　in　Irvine…〃　〃That's　right。　I've　worked　there　since　before　Joe　died。〃　
　〃Well；　my　brother　wasn't　one　of　your　students。　He　was　an　English　instructor　in　the　same　school。　I　traced　him　there；　and　learned　you'd　taught　in　the　room　next　to　his　for　ten　years；　you　knew　him　well。〃　
　Viola's　face　brightened　into　a　smile。　〃You　mean　Jim　Ironheart！〃　〃That's　right。　My　brother。〃　
　〃This　is　lovely；　wonderful；　this　is　perfect！〃　Viola　enthused。　
　The　woman's　reaction　was　so　excessive　that　Holly　blinked　in　surprise　and　didn't　know　quite　what　to　say　next。　
　〃He's　a　good　man；〃　Viola　said　with　genuine　affection。　〃I'd　have　liked　nothing　better　than　to've　had　a　son　like　him。　He　es　around　now　and　then　for　dinner；　not　as　often　as　he　used　to；　and　I　cook　for　him；　mother　him　I　can't　tell　you　how　much　pleasure　that　gives　me。〃　A　wistful　expression　had　settled　on　her；　and　she　was　silent　a　moment。　〃Anyway。　。　
　。　you　couldn't　have　asked　for　a　better　brother；　dear。　
　He's　one　of　the　nicest　people　I've　ever　known；　a　dedicated　teacher；　so　gentle　and　kind　and　patient。〃　
　Holly　thought　of　Norman　Rink；　the　psychopath　who　had　killed　a　clerk　and　two　customers　in　that　Atlanta　convenience　store　last　May；　and　who　had　been　killed　in　turn　by　gentle；　kind　Jim　Ironheart。　Eight　rounds　from　a　shotgun　at　point…blank　range。　Four　rounds　fired　into　the　corpse　after　Rink　was　obviously　dead。　Viola　Moreno　might　know　the　man　well；　but　she　clearly　had　no　concept　of　the　rage　that　he　could　tap　when　he　needed　it。　
　〃I've　known　good　teachers　in　my　time；　but　none　as　concerned　about　his　students　as　Jim　Ironheart　was。　He　sincerely　cared　about　them；　as　if　they　were　his　own　kids。〃　She　leaned　back　in　her　chair　and　shook　her　head　remembering。　〃He　gave　so　much　to　them；　wanted　so　much　to　make　their　lives　better；　and　all　but　the　worst…case　misfits　responded　to　him。　
　He　had　a　rapport　with　his　students　that　other　teachers　would　sell　their　souls　for；　yet　he　didn't　have　to　surrender　a　proper　student…teacher　relationship　to　get　it。　
　So　many　of　them　try　to　be　pals　with　their　students；　you　see；　and　that　never　really　works。〃　
　〃Why　did　he　quit　teaching？〃　Viola　hesitated；　smile　fading。　〃Partly；　it　was　the　lottery。〃　
　〃What　lottery？〃　〃You　don't　know　about　that？〃　Holly　frowned　and　shook　her　head。　
　Viola　said；　〃He　won　six　million　dollars　in　January。〃　
　〃Holy　smoke！〃　〃The　first　time　he　ever　bought　a　ticket。〃　
　Allowing　her　initial　surprise　to　metamorphose　into　a　look　of　worry；　Holly　said；　〃Oh；　God；　now　he's　going　to　think　I　only　came　around　because　he's　suddenly　rich。〃　
　〃No；　no；〃　Viola　hastened　to　assure　her。　〃Jim　would　never　think　the　worst　of　anyone。〃　
　〃I've　done　well　myself；〃　Holly　lied。　〃I　don't　need　his　money；　I　wouldn't　take　it　if　he　tried　to　give　it　to　me。　My　adoptive　parents　are　doctors；　not　wealthy　but　well…to…do；　and　I'm　an　attorney　with　a　nice　practice。〃　
　Okay；　okay；　you　really　don't　want　his　money；　Holly　thought　with　self　disgust　as　caustic　as　acid；　but　you're　still　a　mean　little　lying　bitch　with　a　frightening　talent　for　invented　detail；　and　you'll　spend　eternity　standing　hip…deep　in　dung；　polishing　Satan's　boots。　
　Her　mood　changing；　Viola　pushed　her　chair　back　from　the　table；　got　up；　and　stepped　to　the　edge　of　the　patio。　She　plucked　a　weed　from　a　large　terra…cotta　pot　full　of　begonias；　baby's　breath；　and　copper…yellow　marigolds。　Absentmindedly　rolling　the　slender　weed　into　a　ball　between　the　thumb　and　forefinger　of　her　right　hand；　she　stared　thoughtfully　out　at　the　park…like　grounds。　
　The　woman　was　silent　for　a　long　time。　
　Holly　worried　that　she　had　said　something　wrong；　unwittingly　revealing　her　duplicity。　Second　by　second；　she　became　more　nervous；　and　she　found　herself　wanting　to　blurt　out　an　apology　for　all　the　lies　she'd　told。　
　Squirrels　capered　on　the　grass。　A　butterfly　swooped　under　the　patio　cover；　perched　on　the　edge　of　the　lemonade　pitcher　for　a　moment；　then　flew　away。　
　Finally；　with　a　tremor　in　her　voice　that　was　real　this　time；　Holly　said；　〃Mrs。　Moreno？　Is　something　wrong？〃　Viola　flicked　the　balled…up　weed　out　onto　the　grass。　〃I'm　just　having　trouble　deciding　how　to　put　this。〃　
　〃Put　what？〃　Holly　asked　nervously。　
　Turning　to　her　again；　approaching　the　table；　Viola　said；　〃You　asked　me　why　Jim。　。　。　why　your　brother　quit　teaching。　I　said　it　was　because　he　won　the　lottery；　but　that　really　isn't　true。　If　he'd　still　loved　teaching　as　much　as　he　did　a　few　years　ago　or　even　one　year　ago；　he　would've　kept　working　even　if　he'd　won　a　hundred　million。〃　
　Holly　almost　breathed　a　sigh　of　relief　that　her　cover　had　not　been　penetrated。　〃What　soured　him　on　it？〃　〃He　lost　a　student。〃　
　〃Lost？〃　〃An　eighth…grader　named　Larry　Kakonis。　A　very　bright　boy　with　a　good　heart…but　disturbed。　From　a　troubled　family。　His　father　beat　his　mother；　had　been　beating　her　as　long　as　Larry　could　remember；　and　Larry　felt　as　if　he　should　be　able　to　stop　it；　but　he　couldn't。　He　felt　responsible；　though　he　shouldn't　have。　That　was　the　kind　of　kid　he　was；　a　real　strong　sense　of　responsibility。〃　
　Viola　picked　up　her　glass　of　lemonade；　returned　to　the　edge　of　the　patio；　and　stared　out　at　the　greensward　again。　She　was　silent　once　more。　
　Holly　waited。　
　Eventually　the　woman　said；　〃The　mother　was　a　co…dependent　type；　a　victim　of　the　father　but　a　collaborator　in　her　own　victimization。　As　troubled　in　her　own　way　as　the　father。　Larry　couldn't　reconcile　his　love　for　his　mother　and　his　respect　for　her　with　his　growing　understanding　that；　on　some　level；　she　liked　and　needed　to　be　beaten。〃　
　Suddenly　Holly　knew　where　this　was　going；　and　she　did　not　want　to　hear　the　rest　of　it。　However；　she　had　no　choice　but　to　listen。　
　〃Jim　had　worked　so　hard　with　the　boy。　I　don't　mean　just　on　his　English　lessons；　not　just　academically。　Lary　had　opened　up　to　him　in　a　way　he'd　never　been　able　to　open　to　anyone　else；　and　Jim　had　been　counseling　him　with　the　help　of　Dr。　Lansing；　a　psychologist　who　works　part…time　for　the　school　district。　Larry　seemed　to　be　ing　around；　struggling　to　understand　his　mother　and　himself　and　to　some　extent　succeeding。　Then　one　night；　May　fifteenth　of　last　yearover　fifteen　months　ago；　though　it's　hard　to　believe　it's　been　that　long…Larry　Kakonis　took　a　gun　from　his　father's　collection；　loaded　it；　put　the　barrel　in　his　mouth。　。　。　and　fired　one　bullet　up　into　his　brain。〃　
　Holly　flinched　as　if　struck。　In　fact　she　had　been　struck；　though　the　blows　…two　of　them…were　not　physical。　She　was　jolted；　first；　by　the　thought　of　a　thirteen…year…old　mitting　suicide　when　the　best　of　life　lay　ahead　of　him。　A　small　problem　could　seem　like　a　large　one　at　that　age；　and　a　genuinely　serious　problem　could　seem　catastrophic　and　hopeless。　Holly　felt　a　pang　of　grief　for　Larry　Kakonis；　and　an　undirected　anger　because　the　kid　had　not　been　given　time　enough　to　learn　that　all　horrors　can　be　dealt　with　and　that；　on　balance；　life　offered　far　more　joy　than　despair。　But　she　was　equally　rattled　by　the　date　on　which　the　boy　had　killed　himself：　May　15。　
　One　year　later；　this　past　May　15；　Jim　Ironheart　had　performed　his　first　miraculous　rescue。　Sam　and　Emily　Newsome。　Atlanta；　Georgia。　Saved　from　murder　at　the　hands　of　a　sociopathic　holdup　man　named　Norman　Rink。　
　Holly　could　sit　still　no　longer。　She　got　up　and　joined　Viola　at　the　edge　of　the　patio。　They　watched　the　squirrels。　
　〃Jim　blamed　himself；〃　Viola　said。　
　〃For　Lary　Kakonis？　But　he　wasn't　responsible。〃　
　〃He　blamed　himself　anyway。　That's　how　he　is。　But　his　reaction　seemed　excessive；　even　for　Jim。　After　Larry's　death；　he　lost　interest　in　teaching。　He　stopped　believing　he　could　make　a　difference。　He'd　had　so　many　successes；　more　than　any　teacher　I've　ever　known；　but　that　one　failure　was　too　much　for　him。〃　
　Holly　remembered　the　boldness　with　which　Ironheart　had　scooped　Billy　Jenkins　out　of　the　path　of　the　hurtling　pickup　truck。　That　certainly　had　not　been　a　failure。　
　〃He　just　sort　of　spiraled　down　into　gloom；〃　Viola　said；　〃couldn't　pull　himself　out　of　it。〃　
　The　man　Holly　had　met　in　Portland　had　not　seemed　depressive。　
　Mysterious；　yes；　and　self　contained。　But　he'd　had　a　good　sense　of　humor；　and　he'd　been　quick　to　smile。　
　Viola　took　a　sip　of　her　lemonade。　〃Funny；　it　tastes　too　sour　now。〃　
　She　set　the　glass　down　on　the　concrete　near　her　feet　and　wiped　her　damp　hand　on　her　slacks。　She　started　to　speak　again；　hesitated；　but　finally　said；　〃Then。　。　he　got　a　little　strange。〃　
　〃Strange？　In　what　way？〃　〃Withdrawn。　Quiet。　He　started　taking　martial…arts　training。　Tae　Kwa　Do。　Lots　of　people　are　interested　in　that　sort　of　thing；　I　guess；　but　it　seemed　so　out　of　character　for　Jim。〃　
　It　didn't　seem　out　of　character　for　the　Jim　Ironheart　that　Holly　knew。　
　Viola　said；　〃It　wasn't　casual　with　him；　either。　Every　day　after　school　he　went　for　a　lesson　at　a　place　in　Newport　Beach。　He　became　obsessive。　
　I　wo