ch.doublewhammy-第20章

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　It　occurred　to　Dickie　that　maybe　it　wasn't　such　a　hot　idea　to　stop　by　unannounced。　He　went　back　to　the　living　room；　turned　on　the　television；　and　slumped　on　the　couch。　The　woman　in　the　waders　fixed　him　a　bourbon。　She　said　her　name　was　Ellen　O'Something　and　that　she　had　recently　been　promoted　to　executive　secretary　of　the　First　Pentecostal　Church　of　Exemptive　Redemption；　of　which　the　Reverend　Charles　Weeb　was　founder　and　spiritual　masthead。　She　apologized　for　answering　the　door　half…naked；　said　the　waders　weren't　really　her　idea。　Dickie　Lockhart　said　he　understood；　thought　she　looked　darn　good　in　them。　He　told　her　to　watch　out　for　chafing；　though；　said　he　spoke　from　experience。
　〃Nice　fly　rod；〃　she　remarked。
　〃Not　for　bass；〃　Dickie　Lockhart　said。　〃The　action's　too　fast　for　poppers。〃
　The　woman　nodded。　〃I　was　thinking　more　about　streamers；〃　she　said。　〃A　Muddler　Minnow；　for　instance。　Say　a　four　or　a　six。〃
　〃Sure；〃　Dickie　Lockhart　said；　dumbstruck；　dizzy；　madly　in　love。　〃Sure；　with　the　boron　you　could　throw　a　size　four；　you　bet。　Do　you　fish？〃
　At　that　moment　the　Reverend　Charles　Weeb　thundered　into　the　room　with　a　mauve　towel　wrapped　around　his　midsection。　The　apparition　excused　herself　and　clomped　off　to　a　bedroom。　Dickie　Lockhart's　heart　ached。　He　was　sure　he'd　never　see　her　again；　Charles　Weeb　would　make　sure　of　that。
　〃Son；　what　in　the　name　of　holy　fuck　is　the　matter　with　you？〃　the　clergyman　began。　〃What　demon　has　possessed　you；　what　poison　serpent；　what　diseased　fucking　germ　has　invaded　your　brain　and　robbed　you　of　all　mon　sense？　What　in　the　name　of　Our　Savior　Jesus　were　you　thinking　when　you　knocked　on　my　door　tonight？〃
　〃I'm　fairly　plastered；〃　Dickie　Lockhart　said。
　〃Well；　so　you　are。　But　see　what　you've　done。　That　young　lady　in　there…〃
　〃The　quarterback？〃
　〃Hush！　That　young　lady　was　on　the　brink　of　a　profound　revelation　when　you　burst　in　and　interrupted　our　collective　concentration。　I　don't　appreciate　that；　Dickie；　and　neither　does　she。〃
　〃The　night's　young；〃　Dickie　Lockhart　said。　〃You　can　try　again。〃
　The　Reverend　Weeb　glowered。　〃Why　did　you　e　here？〃
　Dickie　shrugged。　〃I　wanted　to　talk。〃
　〃About　what？〃　Weeb　hiked　up　the　towel　to　cover　the　pale　fatty　roll　of　shrimp…colored　belly。　〃What　was　so　all…fired　important　that　you　would　invade　my　personal　privacy　at　this　hour？〃
　〃The　show；〃　Dickie　said；　emboldened　by　Ellen's　bourbon。　〃I　just　don't　think　you　fully　appreciate　the　show。　I　think　you　take　me　for　granted；　Reverend　Weeb。〃
　〃Is　that　right？〃
　Dickie　Lockhart　stood　up。　It　wasn't　easy。　He　pointed　the　nine…foot　boron　fly　rod　directly　at　Reverend　Weeb's　midsection；　so　that　the　tip　tickled　the　gray　curly　hair。
　〃Catching　bass　is　not　easy；〃　Dickie　Lockhart　said；　his　own　anger　welling；　fueled　by　a　mental　image　of　his　beloved　Ellen　O'Something　bouncing　on　top　of　this　flabby　rich　pig。　〃Catching　bass　is　not　a　sure　thing。〃
　Weeb　said；　〃I　understand；　Dickie。〃　He　had　dealt　with　angry　drunks　before　and　knew　that　caution　was　the　best　strategy。　He　didn't　like　the　fishing　rod　poking　into　his　tummy；　but　realized　that　only　his　pride　was　in　danger。　〃Overall；　I　think　you　do　a　hell　of　a　job　with　Fish　Fever；　I　really　do。〃
　〃Then　why　do　you　treat　me　like　shit？〃
　〃Now；　I　pay　you　very　well；〃　Weeb　said。
　With　his　wrist　Dickie　Lockhart　started　whipping　the　rod　back　and　forth；　filling　the　room　with　sibilant　noise。　Weeb　had　a　hunch　it　would　hurt　like　hell　if　the　tip　thwacked　across　his　bare　flesh；　and　he　edged　back　a　step。
　〃I　heard；〃　said　Dickie　Lockhart；　〃that　you　been　talking　to　Ed　Spurling。〃
　〃Where　did　you　hear　that？〃　A　new　look　came　into　the　minister's　eyes；　a　look　of　nervousness。
　〃Some　boys　that　fish　with　Ed。　Said　Ed　told　'em　that　the　Outdoor　Christian　Network　wanted　to　buy　his　TV　show。〃
　Weeb　said；　〃Dickie；　that's　ridiculous。　We've　got　the　best　bass　show　in　all　America。　Yours。　We　don't　need　another。〃
　〃That's　what　I　said；　but　those　boys　that　fish　with　Ed　told　me　something　else。　They　said　Ed　was　bragging　that　you　promised　to　make　him　number　one　within　two　years。　Within　two　years；　they　said；　Fish　Fever　would　be　out　of　production。〃
　These　redneck　assholes；　Weeb　was　thinking；　what　a　grapevine　they　had。　It　was　too　bad　Ed　Spurling　couldn't　keep　his　damn　mouth　shut。
　〃Dickie；〃　Weeb　said；　〃somebody's　pulling　your　leg。　I　never　met　Spurling　in　my　life。　I　don't　blame　you　for　being　upset；　buddy；　but　I　swear　you've　got　nothing　to　worry　about。　Look；　of　all　the　pro　bass　anglers　in　the　world；　who　did　I　ask　to　do　the　promotion　footage　for　Lunker　Lakes？　Who？　You；　Dickie；　'cause　you're　the　best。　All　of　us　at　OCN　feel　the　same　way：　you're　our　number…one　man。〃
　Lockhart　lowered　the　fishing　rod。　His　eyes　were　muddy；　his　arms　like　lead。　If　he　didn't　pass　out　soon　he'd　need　another　bourbon。
　Soothingly　the　Reverend　Charles　Weeb　said；　〃Don't　worry；　son；　none　of　what　you　heard　is　true。〃
　〃Sure　glad　to　hear　it；〃　Dickie　said；　〃because　there's　no　telling　what　would　happen　if　I　found　out　otherwise。　No　telling。　Remember　the　guy　from　the　zoning　board　down　in　Lauderdale；　the　one　you　told　me　to　take　fishing　that　time？　Man；　he　had　some　wild　stories　about　that　Lunker　Lagoon。〃
　〃Lunker　Lakes；〃　Weeb　said　tersely。
　〃He　says　he　got　himself　a　brand…new　swimming　pool；　thanks　to　you。　With　a　sauna　in　the　shallow　end！〃
　〃I　wouldn't　know。〃
　Dickie　broke　into　a　daffy　grin。　〃And　I'm　trying　to　imagine　what　your　faithful　flock　might　do　if　they　found　out　their　shepherd　was　double…boffing　a　couple　of　sweet　young　girls　from　the　church。　I'm　wondering　about　that；　Reverend　Weeb。〃
　〃I　get　the　point。〃
　〃Do　you　really？〃　Dickie　Lockhart　wielded　the　fly　rod　swordlike　and；　with　an　artful　flick；　popped　the　knot　on　Charlie　Weeb's　bath　towel；　which　dropped　to　his　ankles。
　〃Aw；　what　a　cute　little　thing；〃　Dickie　said　with　a　wink。　〃Cute　as　a　junebug。〃
　Weeb　flushed。　He　couldn't　believe　that　the　tables　had　turned　so　fast；　that　he　had　so　carelessly　misjudged　this　nasty　little　cracker　bastard。　〃What　do　you　want？〃　he　asked　Dickie　Lockhart。
　〃A　new　contract。　Five　years；　no　cancellation。　Plus　ten　percent　of　first…run　syndication　rights。　Don't　look　so　sad；　Reverend　Weeb。　I'll　make　it　easy　for　you：　you　don't　have　to　announce　it　until　after　I　win　the　tournament　this　week。　I'll　show　up　at　the　press　conference　with　the　trophy；　put　on　a　good　show。〃
　〃All　right；〃　Weeb　said；　cupping　his　hands　over　his　privates；　〃what　else？〃
　〃I　want　the　budget　doubled　to　two　thousand　per　show。〃
　〃Fifteen　hundred　tops。〃
　〃Fine；〃　Dickie　said；　〃I'm　not　a　greedy　man。〃
　〃Anything　more？〃　asked　Reverend　Weeb。
　〃Yeah；　go　get　Ellen　and　tell　her　I'm　giving　her　a　ride　home。〃
　
　Lake　Maurepas；　where　the　Cajun　Invitational　Bass　Classic　was　to　be　held；　was　a　bladder…shaped　miniature　of　the　immense　Lake　Pontchartrain。　Located　off　Interstate　55　northwest　of　New　Orleans；　the　marshy　and　bass…rich　Maurepas　was　connected　to　its　muddy　mother　at　Pass　Manchac；　a　few　miles　south　of　the　town　of　Hammond。　It　was　there　that　R。　J。　Decker　and　Skink　took　a　room　at　a　Quality　Court　motel。　At　the　Sportsman's　Hideout　Marina　they　rented　a　small　aluminum　johnboat　with　a　fifteen…horsepower　outboard；　and　told　the　lady　at　the　cash　register　they'd　be　going　out　at　dusk。　The　lady　looked　suspicious　until　Skink　introduced　himself　as　the　famous　explorer　Philippe　Cousteau；　and　explained　he　was　working　on　a　documentary　about　the　famous　Louisiana　eel　spawn；　which　only　took　place　in　the　dead　of　night。　Yes；　the　lady　at　the　cash　register　nodded；　I've　heard　of　it。　Then　she　asked　for　Philippe's　autograph　and　Skink　earnestly　replied　（in　a　marvelous　French　accent）　that　for　such　a　beautiful　woman；　a　mere　autograph　would　never　do。　Instead　he　promised　to　name　a　new　species　of　mollusk　in　her　honor。
　It　had　taken　the　better　part　of　the　morning　to　get　Skink　arraigned　and　bailed　out　of　jail；　and　by　now　it　was　the　middle　of　the　day；　not　hot；　but　piercingly　bright；　the　way　it　gets　in　January　in　the　Deep　South。　Skink　said　there　was　no　point　in　going　out　on　the　water　now　because　the　bass　would　be　in　thick　cover。　He　curled　up　on　the　floor　of　the　motel　room　and　went　to　sleep　while　Decker　read　the　New　Orleans　Times…Picayune。　On　the　back　page　of　the　local　section　was　a　small　item　about　a　local　man　who　had　disappeared　on　a　fishing　trip　to　Florida　and　was　presumed　drowned　somewhere　in　the　murky　vastness　of　Lake　Okeechobee。　The　young　man's　name　was　Lemus　Curl；　and　except　for　the　absence　of　a　blackened　bullet　hole　in　his　forehead；　the　picture　in　the　paper　matched　the　face　of　the　man　whom　Skink　had　shot　dead　near　Morgan　Slough；　the　man　who　had　tried　to　murder　them　with　the　rifle。　Obviously　it　was　Lemus　Curl's　brother　whom　Jim　Tile　had　stopped　for　speeding　shortly　afterward。　Interestingly；　the　same　Thomas　Curl　was　quoted　in　the　newspaper　as　saying　that　his　brother　had　slipped　off　the　dike　and　tumbled　into　the　water　on　the　west　side　of　the　big　lake。　The　article　reported　that　Lemus　Curl　had　been　tussling　with　a　hawg　bass　at　the　time　of　the　tragic　accident。　Decker　thought　this　last　detail；　though　untrue；　lent　a　fine　ironic　touch　to　the　story。
　
　Skink　snored　away　and　Decker　felt　alone。　He　felt　like　calling　Catherine。　He　found　a　pay　phone　outside　the　lobby　of　the　Quality　Court。　She　answered　on　the　fifth　ring；　and　sounded　like　she'd　been　sleeping。
　〃Did　I　wake　you？〃
　〃Hey；　Rage；　where　you　at？〃
　〃In　a　motel　outside　New　Orleans。〃
　〃Hmmm；　sounds　romantic。〃
　〃Very；〃　Decker　said。　〃My　roommate　is　a　240…pound　homicidal　hermit。　For　dinner　he's　fixing　me　a　dead　fox　he　scraped　off　the　highway　near　Ponchatoula；　and　after　that　we're　taking　a　leaky　tin　boat　out　on　a　windy　lake　to　spy　on　some　semi…retarded　fishermen。　Don't　you　wish　you　were　here？〃
　〃I　could　fly　in　tomorrow；　get　a　hotel　in　the　Quarter。〃
　〃Don't　be　a　tease；　Catherine。〃
　〃Oh；　Decker。〃　She　was　stretching；　waking　up；　probably　kicking　off　the　covers。　He　could　tell　all　that　over　the　phone。　〃I　had　to　get　up　early　and　take　James　to　the　airport；〃　she　said。
　〃Where　to　now？〃
　〃San　Francisco。〃
　〃And　of　course　he　didn't　want　you　to　e　along。〃
　〃That's　not　true；〃　Catherine　said。　'Those　conventions　are　a　bore；　and　besides；　I've　got　plans　of　my　own。　What　are　you　doing　out　in　the　bayous？〃
　〃Rethinking　Darwin；〃　Decker　said。　〃Some　of　these　folks　didn't　evolve　from　apes；　it　was　the　other　way　around。〃
　〃You　should　have　gotten　a　nice　room　downtown。〃
　〃That's　not　what　I　meant；〃　Decker　said。　〃The　fish　people；　I'm　talking　about。〃
　〃Take　notes；〃　Catherine　said；　〃it　sounds　like　it'll　make　a　terrific　movie。　Attack　of　the　Fish　People。　Now；　be　honest；　Rage；　wouldn't　you　rather　be　shooting　pictures　of　golfers？〃
　Decker　said；　〃I'd　better　go。〃
　〃That's　it？〃
　〃I've　got　a　lot　to　tell　you；　but　not　over　the　phone。〃
　〃It's　all　right；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Anytime　you　want　to　talk。〃　He　wished　she'd　been　serious　about　flying　up　to　New　Orleans；　though　it　was　a　nutty　scheme。　She　would　have　been　safer　in　San　Francisco　with　her　chiropractor。
　〃I'll　call　you　when　I　get　back；〃　Decker　said。
　〃Take　care；〃　Catherine　said。　〃Slurp　an　oyster　for　me。〃
　
　At　dusk　Skink　was　ready　to　roll。　Shower　cap；　weathersuit；　mosquito　netting；　lamps；　flippers；　regulator；　scuba　tank；　dive　knife；　spear…gun　and；　purely　for　show；　a　couple　of　cheap　spinning　rods。　R。　J。　Decker　was　afraid　the　johnboat　would　sink　under