pdouglas.thecodex-第26章

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　He　tried　to　sit　up。　His　arm　felt　like　it　was　on　fire。　The　blackflies　were　swirling　about　him　worse　than　ever；　and　he　breathed　them　in　with　each　breath。　She　pushed　him　back　down　with　a　gentle　hand　on　his　chest。　〃Don't　move。〃　She　sucked　in　smoke　from　her　pipe　and　blew　it　around　him；　chasing　the　flies　away。
　〃Lucky　for　you　anacondas　have　teensy　weensy　teeth。〃　She　scrubbed。
　〃Ouch。〃　He　lay　back；　looking　up　at　the　canopy　slowly　passing　by。　Nowhere　could　he　see　even　a　speck　of　blue　sky。　The　leaves　covered　all。
　
　30
　
　Tom　lay　in　his　hammock　that　evening；　nursing　his　bandaged　arm。　Vernon　had　recovered　well　and　was　cheerfully　helping　Don　Alfonso　boil　some　unknown　bird　that　Chori　had　shot　for　dinner。　It　was　stifling　inside　the　hut；　even　with　the　sides　rolled　up。
　Only　thirty　days　had　passed　since　Tom　left　Bluff；　but　it　seemed　like　an　eternity。　His　horses；　the　red　sandstone　buttes　etched　against　the　blue　skies；　the　drenching　sunlight　and　the　eagles　flying　down　the　San　Juan　。。。　It　all　seemed　to　have　happened　to　someone　else。　It　was　strange　。。。　He　had　moved　to　Bluff　with　Sarah；　his　fiancée。　She　loved　horses　and　the　outdoors　as　much　as　he　did；　but　Bluff　turned　out　to　be　too　quiet　for　her；　and　one　day　she'd　packed　up　her　car　and　left。　He　had　just　taken　out　a　big　bank　loan　and　established　his　vet　practice；　and　there　was　no　way　he　could　pull　out。　Not　that　he　wanted　to。　When　she　left；　he　realized　that　given　the　choice　between　Bluff　and　her；　he'd　take　Bluff。　That　was　two　years　ago；　and　he　hadn't　had　a　relationship　since。　He　told　himself　he　didn't　need　one。　He　told　himself　the　quiet　life；　the　beauty　of　the　land　was　enough　for　now。　The　vet　practice　had　been　intense；　the　work　grueling；　the　pensation　almost　nil。　He　found　it　rewarding；　but　he　could　never　quite　shake　the　longing　he　had　for　paleontology；　his　childhood　dream　of　hunting　the　bones　of　the　great　dinosaurs；　entombed　in　the　rock。　Maybe　his　father　was　right；　that　it　was　an　ambition　he　should　have　outgrown　when　he　hit　twelve。
　He　turned　in　his　hammock；　his　arm　throbbing；　and　glanced　over　at　Sally。　The　partition　was　rolled　up　for　ventilation；　and　she　was　lying　in　her　hammock　reading　one　of　the　books　Vernon　had　brought；　a　thriller　called　Utopia。　Utopia。　That's　what　he'd　thought　he'd　find　in　Bluff。　But　what　he'd　really　been　doing　was　running　away　from　something…like　his　father。
　Well；　he　wasn't　running　away　from　him　anymore。
　In　the　background　he　could　hear　Don　Alfonso　shouting　orders　to　Chori　and　Pingo。　Soon　the　smell　of　stewing　meat　came　drifting　through　the　hut。　He　glanced　over　at　Sally　and　watched　her　read；　turn　the　pages；　brush　back　her　hair；　sigh；　turn　another　page。　She　was　beautiful；　even　if　she　was　a　bit　of　a　pain　in　the　neck。
　Sally　laid　down　the　book。　〃What　are　you　looking　at？〃
　〃Good　book？〃
　〃Excellent。〃　She　smiled。　〃How　are　you　feeling？〃
　〃Fine。〃
　〃That　was　a　real　Indiana　Jones　rescue　back　there。〃
　Tom　shrugged。　〃I　wasn't　going　to　stand　around　while　a　snake　ate　my　brother。〃　This　wasn't　really　what　he　wanted　to　talk　about。　He　asked；　〃Tell　me　about　this　fiancé　of　yours；　this　Professor　Clyve。〃
　〃Well；〃　Sally　smiled　at　the　memory。　〃I　went　to　Yale　to　study　with　him。　He's　my　doctoral　thesis　adviser。　We　just　。。。　Well；　who　wouldn't　fall　in　love　with　Julian？　He's　brilliant。　I'll　never　forget　when　we　first　met　at　the　weekly　Faculty　Sherry。　I　thought　he　was　just　going　to　be　another　academic　type；　but…wow。　He　looked　like　Tom　Cruise。〃
　〃Wow。〃
　〃Of　course；　looks　mean　nothing　to　him。　What　matters　to　Julian　is　the　mind…not　the　body。〃
　〃I　see。〃　Tom　couldn't　help　looking　at　her　body：　It　put　the　lie　to　Julian's　claims　of　intellectual　purity。　Julian　was　a　man；　like　any　other…just　less　honest　than　most。
　〃He　had　recently　published　his　book；　Deciphering　the　Mayan　Language。　He's　a　genius　in　the　real　sense　of　the　word。〃
　〃Do　you　have　a　wedding　date？〃
　〃Julian　doesn't　believe　in　weddings。　We'll　go　to　a　justice　of　the　peace。〃
　〃What　about　your　parents？　Won't　they　be　disappointed？〃
　〃I　don't　have　any　parents。〃
　Tom　felt　his　face　flush。　〃I'm　sorry。〃
　〃Don't　be；〃　Sally　said。　〃My　father　died　when　I　was　eleven；　and　my　mother　passed　away　ten　years　ago。　I've　gotten　used　to　it…or　at　least　as　used　to　it　as　you　can　get。〃
　〃So　you're　really　going　to　marry　this　guy？〃
　She　looked　at　him；　and　there　was　a　short　silence。　〃What's　that　supposed　to　mean？〃
　〃Nothing。〃　Change　the　subject；　Tom。　〃Tell　me　about　your　father。〃
　〃He　was　a　cowboy。〃
　Yeah；　right；　thought　Tom。　A　rich　cowboy　who　raised　racehorses；　probably。　〃I　didn't　know　they　still　existed；〃　he　said　politely。
　〃They　do；　only　it's　not　what　you　see　in　the　movies。　A　real　cowboy　is　a　laborer　who　just　happens　to　work　off　the　back　of　a　horse；　who　makes　less　than　minimum　wage；　who's　a　high　school　dropout；　who's　got　a　drinking　problem；　and　who　gets　badly　hurt　or　killed　before　he's　forty。　Dad　was　the　foreman　of　a　corporate…owned　cattle　ranch　in　southern　Arizona。　He　fell　off　a　windmill　he　was　trying　to　fix　and　broke　his　neck。　They　shouldn't　have　asked　him　to　go　up　there；　but　the　judge　decided　it　was　his　fault；　because　he'd　been　drinking。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；　I　don't　mean　to　pry〃
　〃It's　good　to　talk　about　it。　At　least　that's　what　my　analyst　says。〃
　Tom　was　unsure　whether　to　treat　this　as　a　joke　or　not　but　decided　to　play　it　safe。　Most　people　in　New　Haven　probably　went　to　analysts。　〃I　figured　your　father　would　have　owned　the　ranch。〃
　〃You　thought　I　was　a　little　rich　girl？〃
　Tom　colored。　〃Well；　I　did　assume　something　like　that。　After　all；　here　you　are　a　Yalie；　and　with　your　riding　ability　。。。〃　He　thought　of　Sarah。　He'd　had　enough　of　rich　girls　to　last　him　the　rest　of　his　life；　and　he'd　just　assumed　she　was　another。
　Sally　laughed；　but　it　was　a　bitter　laugh。　〃I've　had　to　fight　for　every　little　thing　I　have。　And　that　includes　Yale。〃
　Tom　felt　his　color　deepening。　He　had　been　reckless　in　his　assumptions。　She　wasn't　like　Sarah　at　all。
　〃Despite　his　shortings；〃　Sally　continued；　〃my　father　was　a　wonderful　dad。　He　taught　me　how　to　ride　and　shoot；　how　to　head；　heel；　and　cut　cattle。　After　he　died　my　mother　moved　us　to　Boston；　where　she　had　a　sister。　She　waited　on　tables　at　Red　Lobster　to　support　me。　I　went　to　Framingham　State　College　because　it　was　the　only　place　I　could　get　into　after　a　pretty　miserable　public　high　school　education。　My　mother　died　while　I　was　in　college。　Aneurism。　It　was　very　sudden。　For　me；　it　was　like　the　end　of　the　world。　And　then　finally　something　good　happened。　I　had　an　anthropology　teacher　who　helped　me　discover　that　learning　was　fun　and　that　I　was　not　just　a　dumb　blond。　She　believed　in　me。　She　wanted　me　to　bee　a　doctor。　I　was　pre…med；　but　then　I　got　interested　in　pharmaceutical　biology；　and　from　there　I　went　into　ethnopharmacology。　I　busted　my　ass　and　got　into　Yale　Graduate　School。　And　at　Yale　I　met　Julian。　I'll　never　forget　when　I　first　saw　him。　It　was　at　the　faculty　sherry　party　and　he　was　standing　in　the　middle　of　the　room；　telling　a　story。　Julian　tells　wonderful　stories。　I　just　joined　the　crowd　and　listened。　He　was　talking　about　his　first　trip　to　Copán。　He　looked　so　。。。　dashing。　Just　like　one　of　those　old…time　explorers。〃
　〃Right；〃　said　Tom。　〃Sure。〃
　〃So　what　about　your　childhood？〃　Sally　asked。　〃What　was　it　like？〃
　〃I'd　prefer　not　to　talk　about　it。〃
　〃No　fair；　Tom。〃
　Tom　sighed。　〃I　had　a　very　boring　childhood。〃
　〃I　doubt　it。〃
　〃Where　should　I　begin？　We　were　to　the　manor　born；　so　to　speak。　Giant　house；　pool；　cook；　gardener；　live…in　housekeeper；　stables；　a　thousand　acres　of　land。　Father　lavished　us　with　everything。　He　had　big　plans　for　us。　He　had　a　shelf　of　books　on　child　rearing；　and　he　read　every　one。　Start　with　high　expectations；　they　all　said。　When　we　were　babies　he　played　Bach　and　Mozart　and　filled　our　rooms　with　reproductions　of　Old　Master　paintings。　When　we　were　learning　to　read　he　covered　the　house　with　labels　for　every　little　thing。　The　first　thing　I　saw　when　I　got　up　in　the　morning　was　toothbrush；　faucet；　mirror…labels　staring　at　me　from　every　corner　of　the　room。　At　seven　we　each　had　to　choose　a　musical　instrument。　I　wanted　to　play　the　drums；　but　Father　insisted　on　something　classical；　so　I　studied　the　piano。　〃Country　Gardens〃　once　a　week　with　a　shrill　Miss　Greer。　Vernon　studied　the　oboe；　and　Philip　had　to　do　the　violin。　On　Sundays；　instead　of　going　to　church…Father　was　a　resolute　atheist…we　dressed　up　and　played　him　a　concert。〃
　〃Oh　God。〃
　〃Oh　God　is　right。　It　was　the　same　thing　with　sports。　We　each　had　to　choose　a　sport。　Not　for　fun　or　exercise　you　understand；　but　to　excel　in。　We　were　sent　to　the　best　private　schools。　Every　minute　of　the　day　was　scheduled：　horseback…riding　lessons；　tutors；　private　sports　coaches；　soccer；　tennis　camp；　puter　camp；　Christmas　ski　trips　to　Taos　and　Cortina　d'Ampezzo。〃
　〃How　awful。　And　your　mother；　what　was　she　like？〃
　〃Our　three　mothers。　We're　half…brothers。　Father　was　unlucky　in　love；　you　might　say。〃
　〃He　got　custody　of　all　three　of　you？〃
　〃What　Max　wanted；　Max　got。　They　weren't　pretty　divorces。　Our　mothers　weren't　a　big　part　of　our　lives；　and　mine　died　when　I　was　young　anyway。　Father　wanted　to　raise　us　by　himself。　He　didn't　want　any　interference。　He　was　going　to　create　three　geniuses　who　would　change　the　world。　He　tried　to　choose　our　careers　for　us。　Even　our　girlfriends。〃
　〃I'm　sorry。　What　a　horrifying　childhood。〃
　Tom　shifted　in　his　hammock；　slightly　annoyed　at　her　ment。　〃I　wouldn't　call　Cortina　at　Christmas　'horrifying。'　We　did　get　something　out　of　it　in　the　end。　I　learned　to　love　horses。　Philip　fell　in　love　with　Renaissance　painting。　And　Vernon…well；　he　just　kind　of　fell　in　love　with　wandering。〃
　〃So　he　chose　your　girlfriends？〃
　Tom　really　wished　he　hadn't　mentioned　that　particular　detail。　〃He　tried。〃
　〃And？〃
　Tom　felt　his　face　flushing。　He　couldn't　stop　it。　The　thought　of　Sarah…perfect；　beautiful；　brilliant；　talented；　wealthy　Sarah…came　flooding　in。
　〃Who　was　she？〃　Sally　asked。
　Women　always　seemed　to　know。　〃Just　some　girl　my　father　introduced　me　to。　Daughter　of　a　friend　of　his。　It　was；　ironically；　the　one　time　I　really　wanted　to　do　what　my　father　wanted　me　to　do。　I　went　out　with　her。　We　got　engaged。〃
　〃What　happened？〃
　He　looked　at　her　closely。　She　seemed　more　than　curious。　He　wondered　just　what　that　meant。　〃Didn't　work　out。〃　He　didn't　add　the　part　about　him　finding　her　riding　some　other　guy　in　their　own　bed。　What　Sarah　wanted；　Sarah　got；　too。　Life　is　too　short；　she　said；　and　I　want　to　experience　all　of　it。　What's　wrong　with　that？　She　could　deny　herself　nothing。
　Sally　was　still　looking　at　him　curiously。　Then　she　shook　her　head。　〃Your　father　was　really　a　piece　of　work。　He　could　have　written　a　book　on　how　not　to　raise　children。〃
　Tom　felt　the　prickle　of　annoyance　grow。　He　knew　he　shouldn't　say　it；　he　knew　it　would　cause　trouble；　but　he　couldn't　stop　himself。　He　said；　〃Father　would've　loved　Julian。〃
　There　was　a　sudden　silence。　He　could　feel　Sally　staring　at　him。　〃Excuse　me？〃
　Tom　went　on　against　his　better　judgment。　〃All　I　meant　is　that　Julian's　just　the　kind　of　person　Father　wanted　us　to　be。　Stanford　at　sixteen；　famous　professor　at　Yale；　'a　genius　in　the　real　sense　of　the　word；'　as　you　put　it。〃
　〃I　won't　dignify　that　ment　with　an　answer；〃　she　said　stiffly；　her　face　coloring　with　anger　as　she　picked　up　her